to be fuming with SIL?

[CheerfulYank]

Last year we (DH's extended family) tried to get together and have a family picture taken. We could never work it out due to scheduling, so this year we started working on it in August.

A photographer in our town runs a special through today, a really good deal where she takes group photos in a local park, which is nice because the trees are all in full autumn colors.

We (DH's sister) and I find a date that works for everyone. SIL#2 (married to DH's brother) was a bit cat's bum mouth at it being outside but agreed. SIL1 and I said thataybe everyone should wear brown, white, and blue in any shade or pattern as it would coordinate, plus everyone has jeans, khakis l, etc. Everyone agrees.

There is MIL and FIL, DH and me and 2 DCs, SIL1 and husband, SIL2 and her husband (DH's brother), and their 2 DCs, and SIL3 (DH's other sister) her husband, and DD.

So we get this all arranged, send out emails with dates and times, etc. It's all settled.

On Thursday we get a snippy email from SIL2. "What day is pictures? Where are we meeting? What are we wearing again?" despite this being communicated several times. SIL1 replied with directions and a map and again said brown, blue, and white.

So this morning dawns bright and early. We get ready and go to the park, where evertone except SIL2 and BIL are wearing various casual clothing in (you guessed it, brown, blue, and white.)

BIL is wearing a black shirt. SIL2 is wearing a black long sleeved T-shirt with Harley Davidson in red letters. The two DC (9 and 7) are wearing teal and black Under Armour hooded sweatshirts.

I've seen an advanced proof of the pic and it looks ridiculous. It looks like they just wandered in to some random family's photo.

Also we broker into separate family units for pictures and they refused saying "oh we got one for the church directory, it's good enough."

I think it's completely passive aggressive of them and if they didn't want to be in it, they should have just said so.

AIBU to be upset?

Is the pic still not up yet??!!

so are we thinking that SIL lied to BIL, telling him that black was also a colour?

I still wouldn't be fuming about it.
They're the ones looking silly.

When I click on what Garlic linked I get a page of code and error messages, Thumb.

Amanda I don't know if she deliberately lied. BIL is an ass to be fair, and yes they both have form for being odd/difficult.

I'm sure she complained to him and said "we can just wear black and that will be fine" and he went along. Which, if he knew, he definitely should have said something as it was his mum's photo.

But they really are into their "roles"...she does things regarding the kids which are crazy, and he'll shake his head or mutter about it, but wouldn't say anything because as the woman, the kids are primarily her "job".

I need to see the pic to make a fair judgement nosey

OK - posting the photo temporarily now - and then CY will ask MN to take it down shortly. So make the most of it!

Ahh it does look a bit Omen ish, them all standing in black over you all.

Just looks like a family photo- sorry I can't see the problem. I don't really get the colour scheme of brown blue and white- were you going for a hillbilly look? Is there some American significance to these colours?

Well YANBU at all, Op, I think your idea of a general colour scheme was a good one, and I think your SIL was making a deliberate (and extremely petty) point.
The rest of you all look lovely and the trees are stunning!

If we'd been going for a hillbilly look, Combust, we'd have gotten outfits like one I just saw on the photographer's website...a huge family, head to toe camouflage. The girls and women are wearing pink camo :o

I can see what you mean about them not matching, but I don't think they stand out as much as I'd expected. I may be biased though as I detest being made to pose for family photos

And there's nothing 'hillbilly' to what you're wearing....IMO, of course! Just looks like normal clothes to me (not many hillbillies in my small Northern town, that I know of anyway!!)

And if I'd been in your family and asked to wear a blue top, it would probably be royal blue/cobalt as that's the blue I wear most, which would have stuck out as well. I think the way they're posed behind someone in a dark shirt and the guy next to them in quite a dark brown top makes them blend in a bit.

You know, I don't think it's that bad, though I appreciate I'm a Brit and therefore judging with different standards.

I do think the composition leaves a bit to be desired anyway - all the brown jumpers sat together? Ask for a reshoot on those grounds and don't invite SIL

Gorgeous setting though

It really isn't "they don't ^maaaatch" , as it could certainly be worse. (Though it does look odd to me...not even the colors so much as the logos really) it's just that, whhyyyy?!

That's true slithy. I think she was trying to keep the smaller family units together. Plus it was 2 degrees your temp so time was of the essence so we could throw coats back on. :o

At least SIL is smiling!

Could photoshop help out here? Maybe raise the issue with the photographer.

I've just figured out which one you are. I like your hair not a stalker, I promise

Oh I realize I didn't even say! :) I'm sitting on the left, hiding my seven year old baby weight behind DS. :o

Thanks.

I think YANBU - they could have just said no! Reluctant participation is 10x worse than non-participation, IMO.

To my unAmerican eyes it looks fine as well.

Tbf, they have only added black to the mix & the logos hardly blare out imo.

i think that their daughter coordinates, her brother does with her & they do with him.

it's no where near as bad as I was expecting.

Everyone looks comfortable, natural & relaxed & it isn't too try hard.

If anything, I'd say that the white stands out & spoils it!

Good, Diddl. :)

I think it's just because I knew the original plan, so maybe it looks glaring to my eyes. And the people who commented are well versed in this sort of picture and so thought "wait, they don't look right."

Anyway it's done and I'm sure we won't do it again for another decade, if then. SIL1 and I were kind of kicking around the idea of doing it again in a few years because then SIL2's (sitting on the right) baby could he in it. (None of them know about mine. :) )

But I think we'll pass on that idea!

I mean SIL3's baby, oops!

Just came to say YANBU! You tried arranging something nice for the family and they just couldn't be arsed to play along. It's not as though they all had to go out and source matching sparkly ABBA costumes or identical cowboy outfits...!

I don't see how that's controlling any more than asking bridesmaids to wear coordinating dresses at a wedding or to throw a fancy dress party with a theme.

I think that picture looks fine! If anyone's clothing stands out, it's the little girl - your niece? - with the bright teal / turquoise top. Yet that did fit the blue / brown colour scheme.