to be fuming with SIL?

[CheerfulYank]

Last year we (DH's extended family) tried to get together and have a family picture taken. We could never work it out due to scheduling, so this year we started working on it in August.

A photographer in our town runs a special through today, a really good deal where she takes group photos in a local park, which is nice because the trees are all in full autumn colors.

We (DH's sister) and I find a date that works for everyone. SIL#2 (married to DH's brother) was a bit cat's bum mouth at it being outside but agreed. SIL1 and I said thataybe everyone should wear brown, white, and blue in any shade or pattern as it would coordinate, plus everyone has jeans, khakis l, etc. Everyone agrees.

There is MIL and FIL, DH and me and 2 DCs, SIL1 and husband, SIL2 and her husband (DH's brother), and their 2 DCs, and SIL3 (DH's other sister) her husband, and DD.

So we get this all arranged, send out emails with dates and times, etc. It's all settled.

On Thursday we get a snippy email from SIL2. "What day is pictures? Where are we meeting? What are we wearing again?" despite this being communicated several times. SIL1 replied with directions and a map and again said brown, blue, and white.

So this morning dawns bright and early. We get ready and go to the park, where evertone except SIL2 and BIL are wearing various casual clothing in (you guessed it, brown, blue, and white.)

BIL is wearing a black shirt. SIL2 is wearing a black long sleeved T-shirt with Harley Davidson in red letters. The two DC (9 and 7) are wearing teal and black Under Armour hooded sweatshirts.

I've seen an advanced proof of the pic and it looks ridiculous. It looks like they just wandered in to some random family's photo.

Also we broker into separate family units for pictures and they refused saying "oh we got one for the church directory, it's good enough."

I think it's completely passive aggressive of them and if they didn't want to be in it, they should have just said so.

AIBU to be upset?

Yank do you want me to post the photo for you? Before there is some sore of public petition.

just get them to put the photo in black and white problem solved

I've read the whole thread just to see the photo.

OK, OP, I have worked it out.

In the box underneath the message posting box, click on 'Browse'.
It will take you to your files.
Find your picture files, and find the pic you want to post.

Double click on that pic...and it's location and name will appear in the 'Browse' box.

You have to type some text in the message box - e.g 'Guess which one is SIL!' and click 'preview message'. You should see your photo in the message box. If it looks OK, click 'Post Message'.

Well done Red.

Right, bring on the photo OP.

Sorry OP but I'm chuckling here. They look like strangers who wandered into shot because of the colour of their clothing? As a pose to looking like members of your family because of their facial features? I mean, you do know these people right? As does your MiL? Are families colour coded in the USA?

YANBU.

mothers who are grandmothers like this sort of photo. Wearing clothes in a certain colour for 5 minutes to have your picture taken does not kill you.

My BIL is the sort of person who would do this. He is still incredibly proud, 25 years later, of the time he went as a teenager wearing a Metallica tshirt to a christening and pissing off MIL. It is very juvenile.

Are families colour coded in the USA?

For family photos, shot by a professional, yeah, pretty much.

Cadmium I wanted to post it in my profile rather than the thread, though. :)

Barbarian yes. Yes they do.

so glad I am not in your family. what a palava. do you not have jobs?

How come some people can see the photo? Where is it? Next time I'd get your husband to liaise with his brother over his family stuff and I'd keep out of it, he can copy SIL into emails to his brother if he wishes but she obviously can't be trusted to care enough to please her MIL.

Cheerful, go here and add your photo :)

I think the whole contrived set up sound very uncool and sickly sweet in co-coordinating outfits - yuk. I would def have rocked up in an orange boiler suit. Maybe its a culture thing but it sounds awful.

Scone yep it was pretty bad! Even the many children were in double denim. So actually it looked like a gang of employees from a rodeo with no child labor laws I figured the only thing to do was really go with it, so I put my hair in pigtails and wore red lipstick. Still, it was a dark, dark time.

Cheerful it does seem even stranger that she did this since you've said she's quite fussy about photo outfits, and nice outfits for nice occasions, in general. There's no way she wasn't making a point, as rudely as she could -- though I don't know what that point was. Was she annoyed that she didn't get to organize it?

Ugh, and I just remembered again how expensive those photo shoots are. Ugh.

For everyone commenting how ridiculous/OTT this idea is -- I know it's been said, but it's normal here!! It's not a pushy or controlling thing to arrange! Really, it's not. It's not everyone's thing, but it is very, very common and unless you go way over the top, it looks natural and nice.

This page has some lovely examples (just below the babies). And here are some more.

If you look at these, then mentally add a guy in a black Harley Davidson sweatshirt, I bet you can see how thoroughly SIL has ruined the photo.

2Rebecca because they're friends with me on Facebook. The photographer posted it and tagged me in it.

Tara really? You wouldn't have just said "no, thanks"? You would have agreed to it and then shown up on the day wearing something else? Maybe it is a cultural thing but I just don't understand being so passive aggressive and immature.

Messalina we are all, in fact, gainfully employed! Except FIL, who is in his 70s and retired. Oddly enough it does not require 40 hours a week to dig a brown sweater out of one's closet and wear it to a park for 15 minutes.

I am absolutely PMSL at the thought of a hulking biker guy standing behind those little girls in yellow, Keats. :o

I think those photos are pretty naff, really.

My MIL arranged something similar. We did as we were asked. It didn't kill us. She likes that sort of thing. Meh. It was hanging on her wall, not ours. YANBU.

Oh, and I have been involved in two where the family dogs are wearing coordinating bandanas.

But it's not as jarring as that, really. :) It looks okay. If I could figure out how to add it, you probably wouldn't think anything of it. My friends who are American commented on it immediately, as they are used to these kinds of photos.

Ha! Maybe this should be a service offered by the photographer. "And for just $650 more, we'll bring a few random biker dudes to your shoot and pose them artistically here and there. Because nothing says 'treasured family photo' like 'Honey, who's that guy next to your sister? Was Katie dating a Hells Angel that year?'"

CY - Garlicoctopus has linked you to the correct part of MN to add it to your profile. Go there and add it and make sure you keep it open to everyone before they all go insane from not being able to judge it themselves

because he wouldn't have dared
Oh dear. So she knew the agreed dress code and had her family dress contrary to it.
I too would love to see the photo now.
Can you have them their outfits photo- shopped? Or just order B&W?

Initially I thought it was a bit controlling to "dictate" the conditions of the photograph.
But i have come around and i think that the harmonious thing to do would be wear jeans and brown jumper, and to wear what they wore was the "controlling" act here.
Is she/ are they always a bit difficult? You have my sympathies.