AIBU to have been upset over religion coming before medical reasons in hospital

[Mummytosurvivor25]

So in hospital with daughter , she has many heart n lung issues last week before we got moved to high dependant we were on general ward. Daughter has compromised lungs and a weak immune system but unless a patient has d&v you don't get isolated unless moved to high dependency.
Anyway on night 2 boys were admitted either side of daughter who had obvious wheezy coughs etc running around in to daughters cubicles I asked the nurse if we could move in to a cubicle and she said it wasn't possible.
A few hours later a girl aged about 12 came in who had a wheezy cough but again other than that fine but needed to reduce temperature anyway because of the temperature they asked of she could remove her head scarf
And they said no because no one could see her hair. So they gave her a cubicle ????

I'm. Not against any religion race WTc but surely health should come first anyway needless to say we ended up in high dependancy shortly after with a RSV something that my daughter can't fight off.
We were then discharged and she got rushed back in Saturday.

You don't know why she was moved to the cubicle. You have made an assumption it was due to her religion. You may be right, you may be wrong. Hope your dd gets better soon, it sounds like a frustrating and worrying experience.

YANBU
I hope this didn't happen in the UK.

If ur daughter had RSV she should have either been isolated or nursed with other RSV patients. However I guess at this point they didn't know. It takes a while for the pathology on secretions to come back to the ward.

As for the child in the scarf. Nurses have to provide care and respect for all religions and ethnic groups. So I guess this was the solution they deemed best at that time.

Sounds like you should have been isolated to me regardless of other patients reasons.

It does make me sad to think of a 12 year old being unable to show her hair. She is a child so anyone looking at her in sexual way is the one with a problem!

I did t make an assumption she was 2 yards away from me and heard to whole convo

maybe they had a cubical available and didn't when you asked

the care of all patients is paramount - her need was greater than yours - that's life

Captain sorry didn't make that clear we didn't come in with an RSV she caught it whilst we were here.

Now was her need greater ? That's what I'm trying to work out how in a hospital should religion come before health

her need was greater than yours - that's life WTF?

YANBU. It's a ludicrous situation enabled by cowards. She is 12, FFS, not yet a sexualised being! Nothing in her religion forces her to hide her hair, and in Health matters, practicality and science prime, not personnal hang ups.

I'm sorry your DD has been so ill but I find it hard to believe any child was admitted who was "fine" apart from a wheezy cough - they surely don't have enough beds to admit on that basis.

Anyway they didn't have any real choice did they whether we like it or not (and like aherdofmims I find it terribly that that a 12 year old can't show their hair in public). What was their choice as health care professionals - she probably needed to take off as much as possible to help bring her temp down (I think thats what you were meaning) - she either had to do that publicly or in a private room and I suppose they thought that it wasn't the time to be tackling the issue with a sick child. So she was actually given the room on the basis of a medical need - they needed to bring her temp down and the only practical way to do that quickly was to give her some privacy.

Giving your daughter her room wouldn't have solved the problem.

I don't doubt you heard every word but that doesn't mean you know the background.
Without knowing her entire past medical history you can't judge why the decision to move her was made.

I doubt a nurse is going to have the conversation with a 12 year old about how its a pile of tosh that she can't show her hair in public and wrestle it off her. They took a pragmatic approach.

maybe she wanted to cover her hair - at 12 she may well have reached puberty and thus wish to act as and be treated like a young woman

her need was greater because it was judged to be by the medical staff

never mind I'm sure your medical care is the same as hers - doubs she's getting special magic drugs or anything - just a teeny bit more privacy

I'm shocked that contagious children are treated on the same wards as children with compromises immune systems, that just seems like plane madness :(

The headscarf issue is difficult as possibly she wouldn't have been allowed to receive treatment had she not been given a private room, no child should have medical treatment withheld because of what I assume is at that age parent influenced religious/cultural ideas.

Would you prefer that she had been unable to receive treatment because of her parents beliefs?

If she'd been above the age of consent, and could make the decision herself whether to decline treatment due to lack of privacy on religious grounds then I'd agree with you. She wasn't tho, and so I think the hospital did the right thing in prioritising her welfare.

10 is the age of criminal responsibility - at 12 she may well be deemed competent to make her own choices - I have a 12 year old - trust me that have their own minds

Actually on general ward if you have a wheeze you do get admitted all 3 of them came in with a wheezy cough / chest infections and the parents very open about it.
And she was not getting her own room for any reason until she stated she couldn't take her scarf of in the ward. Her bed was opposite ours

You've obviously decided this decision wasn't based on clinical need and this girl got preferential treatment. Complain if you're so sure about it. Since you don't know about this girl's medical needs I don't imagine you'll get very far.

We had been waiting for a spare cubical for 2 days now were in HDU we have our own room
My daughter has a lung syndrome
Under reloaded lungs
Dextrocardia
3 holes in her heart
Underdeveloped lungs
Pulmonary hypertension
Is still on breathing support at home and feeds through a tube and has a cold could be dangerous for her.

How many times have I said she was admitted on to the ward she was not getting her own cubicle as they had already set everything up there etc until she said she was unable to take scarf off.
As I said I heard the full conversation and saw them leave the next day.

A chest infection basically x

I'm sorry about your daughter - you must be tired, stressed, sleep deprived - I know what hospital stays are like but it's really not worth getting stressed about - the staff made a decision - the child was treated - yes you were a bit miffed but it's so not worth you getting worked up about.

If it was only a curtained cubicle it probably wouldnt make too much difference to a contagious disease.

I completely agree though privacy is not a medical issue.

It can not be a priority over an immunocompromised person.

Could even be why she was there - if they dîdnt allow her to remove scarf even at home she would have had a rising temp.

If you have a consultant could you raise the lack of cubicle so they could put on notes as a request/suggestion.

Though i think hospital is always going to be a dangerous place where even the average person is probably already fighting off 1 infection only to catch another.

Maybe they could have dampened the scarf.