AIBU to have been upset over religion coming before medical reasons in hospital

[Mummytosurvivor25]

So in hospital with daughter , she has many heart n lung issues last week before we got moved to high dependant we were on general ward. Daughter has compromised lungs and a weak immune system but unless a patient has d&v you don't get isolated unless moved to high dependency.
Anyway on night 2 boys were admitted either side of daughter who had obvious wheezy coughs etc running around in to daughters cubicles I asked the nurse if we could move in to a cubicle and she said it wasn't possible.
A few hours later a girl aged about 12 came in who had a wheezy cough but again other than that fine but needed to reduce temperature anyway because of the temperature they asked of she could remove her head scarf
And they said no because no one could see her hair. So they gave her a cubicle ????

I'm. Not against any religion race WTc but surely health should come first anyway needless to say we ended up in high dependancy shortly after with a RSV something that my daughter can't fight off.
We were then discharged and she got rushed back in Saturday.

What MrsD said. DD1 was in a private room always due to her leukaemia.

When she went to ICU, she had had a bone marrow transplant and had no immune system at all, so had to go into a side room. We had to wait for one because she could not be in the ward. The boy in the one next her had e.coli.

They also keep a private area where they move children who are going to die.

You have no way of knowing why the girl was moved, but the facilities need a real shakeup, IMO.

The OP's child should not be in a ward setting.

Yanbu . A twelve year old wearing a head covering is cultural not religious anyway - the Korean does not require it.

Your dd obviously needed the room more.
Disgusting really, sounds like the medics made the decision out of fear (of being branded bigots) rather than what was best medically.
Religious items like headscarves are up to the individual. But once that choice impacts on the health of other people, it should be questioned. This is all in the name of religion - I wonder how God feels about putting a vulnerable person's health at risk so someone else can uphold religious beliefs.

MrsDe the op heard the entire conversation and offer of a cubicle. No assumptions were made.

MrsDeVere - I deliberately stayed out of this for that reason - no one wants to hear from those of us who have actually been in the trenches, fought the battles, and come back wounded.

sigh

I did t actually mean to cause an argument.
My theory was from the fact when they wanted space they were refused and all stuff had been set up etc at the bed side opposite. Ward rounds happen and everyone cn hear your convo I often have to say DD's medical history in front of a room full of others.
It is. It until she refused to remove the head scarf that she was moved.
Oh and btw I am I'm no way angry with the actual 12 yr old.
And as for a wheezy cough the 2 boys were only in for that because I spoke to there mums and it was because the cough was wheezy and so was there chest ( both toddlers ) one went home the next morning and the other stayed another night.
Thanks for all your Input.

With you, just with you OP X

Op do you know you just used your daughters name.

YANBU, all prioritisation should be medical.

Charming, I never realised that there are people who would actually deny a child medical treatment due to the beliefs of her parents.

On ward rounds only the basic information is given, more serious things then parent or NTK or taken into a private area.

Unless of a acute bed management, infectious patients will be put into a side room.

You are BU to think you know everything about the medical needs of everyone on the ward.

YANBU that a room had become free and you were not told. That is the only thing to complain about.

Nursing staff are taught to treat people as individuals with dignity and to accommodate their beliefs.

Religion does not trump medical treatment, but it is accommodated.

If they wanted to remove clothing to bring her temperature down then just removing a headscarf is not enough and a 12 year old opposite 2 boys may well not be comfortable stripping off, I know I would want privacy for that.

I agree with Mrs Devere

The issue is that your dd should have a side room and it is outrageous that she doesn't.

But be wary of thinking you know all the ins and out of another patients diagnosis. A couple complained about what they assumed was preferential treatment when I was in hospital with ds. They didn't know that I was sat behind a desk looking at ds's chest xrays with a dr. Their daughter had been in the bed opposite, and they felt that she hadn't received treatment as good as ds's because they were travellers. I know they were complaining because they were worried about their daughter, but they didn't know that ds has genetic condition and had been in and out of hospital many times.

Sorry, forgot to add. Hope your dd improves soon.

Op putting someone in a side room is a medical decision made at staff meetings for those at greatest need. You dont know this 12 year girls full medical history.

Wishing you dd a quick recovery. Make sure you get some time off the ward yourself even if its 5 minutes in the garden outside. X

I agree with Mrs Devere.

And you also don't always get the full history on medical rounds especially not for 'repeat' patients. DS (who often looks happy and well while really ill) is often seen by his consultant when in so the whole history isn't repeated, or the doctor who saw him in a and e will come to the ward to follow up so again no need for full history.

He would also be kept away from anyone known to have RSV given the fact that the hospital know it is a virus his body can't cope with and which has led to many of his 50 hospital trips in the last 4 years.

You can't judge a situation based on an overheard snippet of conversation. By all means complain if you don't feel you daughter got the right treatment but don't make if about the fact another child did get the right treatment.

Whether or not the OP heard and understood the headscarf wearing child's circumstances accurately, there is no place for religion within state institutions, be that hospitals, schools or anywhere else. Science, like education, trumps superstition.

Ye everyone should just leave their beliefs behind at the door

Whether or not the OP heard and understood the headscarf wearing child's circumstances accurately, there is no place for religion within state institutions, be that hospitals, schools or anywhere else. Science, like education, trumps superstition.

What would you have staff do? "Oh sorry, we don't believe in your religious claptrap, take your daughter home and if she dies, well tough shit, we've taught you a lesson about not believing the same things that we do."

As a parent with a child with special needs and frequent hospital stays I can understand how frustrating this is. From a medical perspective, I do not believe that the hijab wearing girl was designated the room purely on the hijab issue. She may have medical issues you are unaware of, and has therefore been prioritised. My daughter wears hijab and has never been given a private room (nor would we expect one). However even in side wards it is impossible to avoid transmission of viruses/bugs that are usually quite rampant in hospitals.

I hope your daughter is better soon x

midnite no one is denying the child medical treatment on the basis of ber parents beliefs. Medical resources should always be offered on the basis of medical need first and foremost .A persons religious/cultural beliefs (or the parents religious/ cultural beliefs in the case of a minor child) do not trump another persons medical needs, ever.
People don't always get allocated single cubicles/rooms on the basis of wanting privacy, because other patients may have greater needs. If they (or the parents) then decline treatment then that is their own responsibility, not the staff or the hospital.

Surely the answer would have been 'ideally we would take her somewhere private to enable her to remove, but unfortunately, we have to prioritise those with weak immune systems etc'
Possibly the dr wanted to sort it immediately and if they hadnt been well enough to leave the following day could have moved them.

Alsl when asking for the room were you asking a dr?