AIBU to have been upset over religion coming before medical reasons in hospital

[Mummytosurvivor25]

So in hospital with daughter , she has many heart n lung issues last week before we got moved to high dependant we were on general ward. Daughter has compromised lungs and a weak immune system but unless a patient has d&v you don't get isolated unless moved to high dependency.
Anyway on night 2 boys were admitted either side of daughter who had obvious wheezy coughs etc running around in to daughters cubicles I asked the nurse if we could move in to a cubicle and she said it wasn't possible.
A few hours later a girl aged about 12 came in who had a wheezy cough but again other than that fine but needed to reduce temperature anyway because of the temperature they asked of she could remove her head scarf
And they said no because no one could see her hair. So they gave her a cubicle ????

I'm. Not against any religion race WTc but surely health should come first anyway needless to say we ended up in high dependancy shortly after with a RSV something that my daughter can't fight off.
We were then discharged and she got rushed back in Saturday.

I always wonder why people think I'll join MN in scenarios like this.

The girl with the scarf would have been afforded as much privacy by having the curtains drawn - yanbu

I'm sorry your DD is ill and that this stay has been so stressful for you all. However this really isn't about another patient. It's about the fact you think your DD's condition deteriorated because she wasn't placed in isolation.

You have no idea why other patients were allocated private rooms and for some reason you are taking issue with this one patient because you feel you're aware of their medical history and medical needs. I'm sure when you have time to think about it, you will realise that can't possibly be the case. You can't know why they were admitted and you can't know why the girl suddenly started presenting with a temperature.

I'm sorry this thread has descended into an example of intolerance towards other religions and races. It doesn't help your DD and it doesn't help you to raise this issue in an appropriate way.

Like Book, I'm sorry that this thread has turned out this way.
Who knows what went on in the ward where OP's DD was? I think its important to for you OP, that you get someone to look into it for you.

Giles, I've just saw your post about your mum's stay in hospital, its not right and its rubbish that your mum went through that but I have seen this a few times with other families of all races. It might have been that the nursing staff, given what resources they had to hand, had to make a pragmatic decision about how to handle this. Sometimes if its a choice between using your time constantly trying to get relatives to behave in an appropriate manner and dealing with the disruption this causes or using your time to wash, feed, treat and medicate your patients its no choice at all.

MrsDeVere no I didn't call Sirzy naive I was quoting my old post to you.
I myself have spent time with two of my children in intensive care I have had my fair share of sick children in hospitals.

Mrs Devere I would appreciate an apology as I am not being offensive I was quoting an old post. Please reread what I posted to Sirzy.

Also my signal has caused a post not to work. I will repost.
I am sorry for calling you naive Mrs Devere.
I do not think the doctor was a moron , however I do think he should have been more careful and not discussed.

I'm sorry this thread has descended into an example of intolerance towards other religions and races. It doesn't help your DD and it doesn't help you to raise this issue in an appropriate way

See I don't think it really has. No one is thinking bad of any race. People can believe whatever they like. No one gives a shit if they are purple with green spots.

What it's done is highlight a very possible issue with professionals in the medical industry where reasonable adjustments are possibly starting to compromise basic care of others.

You can say what you like with regard the other child's medical history. Ops baby was small with a range of multiple conditions and picked up a virus that required her to be on crap while she was there.

This other child walked into the building, was talking and responsive and left the following day. I have an asthmatic child and a child who has had admissions and required oxygen or iv anti biotic. Up don't walk into a hospital.with those or leave the following day. I have a family member who sufferes terribly with asthma and has spent weeks in hospitals over the past couple of years.

If she was discharged in less that we hours it can't have been anything remotely as serious as ops baby.

Should the girl have been given a room. Yes. If it meant she received the treatment she needed.

should that room have even been available when she got there? No because ops baby should have been In it the second it did become available.

No its not representative of how different cultures are being accommodated everywhere. But it is an indication that perhaps sone staff are taking it to far and need to alter their thinking a bit as I explained in my previous post with regards to to incidents that happened to my dm

Not discussed moving a patient when it could cause upset to other patients.

Sometimes if its a choice between using your time constantly trying to get relatives to behave in an appropriate manner and dealing with the disruption this causes or using your time to wash, feed, treat and medicate your patients its no choice at all

But that wasn't what was happening. These people were monopolise g staff left tight and centre. Enabling the way conversations while reports back over the phone were given before the next part of the conversation could continue.

Meanwhile no one had time to unhook my mother temporarily and assist her in having a bath or shower. She wasn't bathes for days which also added to her distress.

A sick child came into the hospital, they could not treat her in the current ward. While you are sick and in the hospital is not the time to be distressing a child. They took her to a different room to give her the treatment she needed.

Back to the point though, they obviously had emergency cubicles if they were able to take her into one straight away with no wait.

Therefore, your daughter was not getting one because they did not feel she needed one. Not because there was lack of availability.

Your daughter would have gotten a cubicle out of convenience, not out of necessity. You may feel like she needed it, but the medical staff did not agree. You are not a doctor, and they obviously assessed her to be not high risk enough to be isolated. Take your anger up with the doctors refusing to isolate an immune compromised girl, not the religion or the girl with the head scarf.

The hospital had the rooms, they just weren't handing them out for a parent's convenience unless it was medical necessity. Next time challenge them as to why your daughter isn't a medical necessity when she has immune system problems.

Giles, that is pretty bad. In the cases that I've seen we gave a report to one of the relatives, once a shift and any other requests were referred to them.
Have you been able to make a complaint? It sounds as though the staff were responding to the squeaky wheel and didn't have the ability to stand up to the family which needs sorting out.

Sticking up for MrsD here, having been through similar with my DS RIP.

He often did not look ill when admitted to hospital but had a severe Latex allergy and had to be isolated for his own safety. I know many parents were furious to be moved out of a side room but sorry my DS needed it. Anaphylaxis caused him to need artificial ventilation on several occasions

Did the child with headscarf have any hair?

Everyone just wanted it over with. Clearly there isn't the staff to deal with everything which is another issue in itself.

But I think. It's pretty clear that people are so worried about offending people that it's got to the point where it's a real problem.

And that does apply to everyone. Whether it's worrying that their request may come across as discriminating due to language barriers or whether visitors or patients are aggressive and staff feel they can't speak up or whether they are just trying to be kind with regards to people's working hours or the fact that a patient may be distressed and need their family there.

Ultimately it should be about patient care. Not accommodating visitors for fear of a reaction. And people need to abide by the rules in.place.

Religion should never come before health.

I apologised for calling you naive.
It would be nice if you apologised for calling me offensive when you misread my my post to Sirzy. I did NOT call her naive. I said it to you then quoted my post. Then apologised after your post regarding your dd.
I am genuinely sorry I feel terrible for causing you any upset.

I didn't say it was defined to one culture.

My post did state it applied to everyone for possibly a variety of reasons. And as a well rested, bathed and well fed adult of course in see that. I did of course explain to my mother that it must have been extremely scary for a person to be there and not be able to communicate with anyone and of course a family member is a reasonable adjustment.

Sadly that member took the piss and the rest? Well that's just what it looked to a women who hadn't slept in days felt like shit and just wanted a bath.

and that's what op was. A scared exhausted won an with a sick child who saw a medical no brainer taken away by someone who left the next day while her child was infected with something that caused her dd to be extremely sick.

It may well not have been the reason. But I do think it couldpossibly be the reason. that staff were trying to accommodate a person's beliefs (which of course should be done as far as possible) and that resulted in an incident that was unfair. Not the patients or the patients mothers fault at all. They asked a question and could easily have been told no.and yes of course staff should have been sympathetic and done their best for this girl but it is possible that a wrong call was made. It happens. Not just for religious reasons for many many reasons to many many people

They may have suspected the child had something infectious therefore gave a side room while they tested.

There are many different reasons she may have been given the room. The op is simply guessing as to the reason

Bulb - please don't tell me what you don't actually know , my daughter does require a cubicle ( she is home ventilated and a cold could quite frankly be fatal for her )
We always get a cubicle normally and tbh long term patients get one of they are stable which sometimes they could actually be on ward depending on there medial issues for a few days if a sick or infectious child is being mixed on ward but nope they keep the cubicle.
I'm not being entitled , I have stayed on wards before this is purely about the fact that my daughter can't even go to nursery let alone being in a ward of sick children.
If there is only 1 cubicle it should go to the right person and as I have said countless times they had asked for one and was refused so it was not down to medical background in the slightest. They were then given one when the convo of taking scarf of came on the picture.
For people that say they don't discuss medical stuff In front of other patients is rubbish because I often have to say things , go through her history and have heard many others too.
This convo was crystal clear whether you want to believe it or not.
To the person who said why to people join for reasons like this ..I had been a member before when I had ds.
And so joined again yesterday to ask an opinion on dd father so please don't assume.
Thankyou to everyone anyway.

Sorry uou don't know the full medical background of the other child. You are right to be annoyed your daughter didn't get the treatment you wanted but that doesn't mean another child should be denyed treatment

Sirsy I didn't guess at all, they wanted a cubicle as soon as they got there and got declined.
If it was for medical reasons see as there was no investigation after this as doctors hand even come around yet just nurses then she would have been given one there and then .
I haven't assumed or guessed everything
Anyway didn't really want this to turn in religion or arguments as it isn't the fact the girl was religious and I'm not angry with her , I'm angry with the fact that it was unfair that wasn't her fault it was the nurses.