to ask - if your DC go to a church school, then -

[nomdemere]

• if entry was based on church attendance, then how does your vicar know how often you go?

I'm not sure my vicar actually knows who I am, let alone notices me in the congregation every time.

Our CofE secondary has a points system based on frequency of attendance (monthly, fortnightly, 'most weeks', 'every week'). The vicar has to countersign I just can't see how our vicar will know which category I am in. He's not there every week himself!

How does it work where you are? I feel slightly embarrassed about actually asking him, it will sound rather pushy.

In some places they will have a 'visitors book' just for school parents to sign, in others it's just taking a mental note. It won't just be the vicar who notices, the church wardens will look out for you too, and it's quite easy to see who's there or not, especially if you always sit in the same pew!

I was wondering the same thing yesterday after mass. I'm talking about a roman Catholic church though.

I was baptised and confirmed in this church and have been attending since birth. However I moved away and since then all the priests have changed. I don't know any of them properly now and feel slightly awkward around them.

I started going back to our local church when we moved back to the area about 2 years ago and we had our boy baptised there, however as the resident priest was on holiday at the time I jumped at the chance of inviting the former resident priest (who I adore) to do the honours. It was beautiful.

Every week I see all the mums falling over themselves to speak to the priest, trying to make themselves seen. It's embarrassing to watch (for me, anyway) and I don't like doing it. I usually leave mass without speaking to the priest. Sometimes if he catches my eye we will nod hello but that's it. I don't think he recognises me.

It does worry me that these other mums are making themselves seen and I'm not, and how are we going to get a letter of recommendation when they don't know who we are?

Sorry that's long and rambling. Don't have time to re read so just going to post

My church keeps a register of who attends, someone sits near the entrance and notes everyone who comes in ticking their names off against a list of the congregation.

After each service, you go and thank him for a wonderful sermon/nice day we're having/shall I bake something for the next fete?/etc.

T'is what my parents did when trying to get us into a good school they rediscovered their faith for the year preceding secondary entry

We have a new priest who has set up a report card system - from Sep to Jan every week he signs them as he greets people leaving the church.
In early Jan he will run 'signing clinics' to sign the school entry forms with the right level of attendance. Our church suddenly got very busy at the children's 930am Mass!

Oh and there is no place to sign in. It is a huge church with a massive congregation. The place is packed to the rafters every week, especially the children's mass.

Very oversubscribed Catholic school here and after mass they open up the office and you sign a little attendance slip. They have a form with copies of the parents' signatures and only the parents can sign. You also have to bring the child in with you so they can see you actually brought them and didn't just come yourself. This starts at 2.5 years. Sunday mornings have gone from being a nice time to hell on earth for that hour.

if its an aided school they will get in , no matter how often you go to church , the one near me lets anyone with money in

Mine did. The vicar knew because he saw us in the congregation/crèche every week! Probably about 200+ there.

Also, you could always wear a massive red hat?

he probably has seen you - I went to a new church once, pretty busy and the vicar had still spotted me and said hello after the service.

Make yourself known to him a decent time before he's expected to sign - chances are he does know you but better safe than sorry.

at big red hat

I heard of a case where the family were trying to get two children into a church school. The vicar certified in relation to one child that they were regular churchgoers but said they weren't in relation to the second, and refused to change or explain it apparently he liked his whisky. The school said it couldn't possibly look beyond what the vicar had said and refused to let child 2 in until legal action was threatened.

I second the big red hat, it's obviously the only way. And sing out extra loud during the hymns.

I am tone deaf, so perhaps I should sing out loud and they will definitely know I'm there and probably shoot me from the pulpit

I will have to ask if there is a signing system, won't I.

Our churchwarden signed ours, as we were in an interregnum. To be honest, given that we had 3 vicars in 7 years he was the best person to recognise us.

I had this a few weeks ago. I thought I would be so recognisable as we're not from this city so have a different accent and also an unusual surname. Nope. Been going for 10 years! Admittedly not weekly probably not even fortnightly but thanks to the huge congregation and the likliehood the vicar does not know everyone personally that's what my form now says

Worked in your favour then Whoops! We only go fortnightly/monthly at the moment but will be going weekly when it counts for school attendance. But I want to be sure that the vicar will recognise the commitment! It's awkward!

I don't go to the after-church coffee-fest. I have a disability that makes it difficult for me to manage the crowd, plus the DC are extremely hungry by then and not very tolerant of me gazing around looking for someone to talk to.

Our church has tea and biscuits after mass, do you have anything similar that you could stay for and become a little better known in the congregation. Bonus is you will get to know other members of the church too.

Sorry, crossed posts.

No, you are right FoxSticks. I think perhaps I will have to brave the melee. I will probably become known for being the person who falls over in the crowd while their DC howl irritably around them. But known, at least :)

They're usually looking for the children rather than the parents. So I have lived in 2 areas where it was an issue - 1st area had massively oversubscribed C of E secondary school and you needed 48wks attendance (out of 52 wks) to have tbe vicar sign off the form. All the children went to Sunday School and there was a formal register (just like school where childrens names were read out and they said yes).

2nd area - over subscribed c of e primary, vicar signs form for 'regular worshippers' which is generally twice a month. I help with sunday school and informally we make a note of who attends and vicar is on the ball and very observant!

This is such a ridiculous system - and so unfair to the children whose parents don't have a faith, or have a different faith, or who aren't prepared to claim they have a faith.

We have a card system with signatures from the Vicar or one of the wardens. It used to be a book with a register, but it mysteriously disappeared one year so the attended card is a better system.