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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit :/.about this response

109 replies

worstdayever · 28/09/2014 13:16

It's my first anniversary yesterday and i was happy about it txt my mate, who I always listen to re: her relationships etc, "ive been married a year god its flown!" And I got "lucky you! Don't think I'll ever get married. " Confused Sad I haven't responded im a bit down about it tbh, i would be happy for someone maybe its just, feel a bit let down.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 28/09/2014 13:17

sorry but you are over reacting massively - the wedding was a year ago - time to stop being a bridezilla

PiperRose · 28/09/2014 13:17

What are you feeling let down about?

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 28/09/2014 13:18

Ditch her.

Real friends are happy for each other.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/09/2014 13:19

Maybe she felt you were rubbing it in?

sunbathe · 28/09/2014 13:20

I don't think it's a terrible response...maybe she was feeling a bit down about her relationship status?

And, Happy Anniversary. Flowers

Smilesandpiles · 28/09/2014 13:22

Only the people who actually married on that day give a rats arse about the anniversary. No one else should or would.

fluffyraggies · 28/09/2014 13:23

Sounds like you caught her at a bad moment. Is she a good friend on the whole otherwise?

It was me and DHs 2nd WA this year. I don't feel the need to have others feeling good for me about something. I would be content with the loving feeling between DH and i on our first WA. And our 2nd ... and so on! So a friends text like that wouldn't bother me.

LosingAllTheLego · 28/09/2014 13:24

I'd be a bit puzzled by your text tbh.

For me an anniversary is a celebration between the couple, so I'd ve confused by a text fishing for, well, I don't really know?? A well done?

Original poster
worstdayever · 28/09/2014 13:24

I don't think being happy about something wedding related makes me a bridezilla :/ each to their own i suppose.

OP posts:
PureMorning · 28/09/2014 13:24

Its not her anniversary its you and mr worstdayevers.

I know is really soecial forbyou but to everone rlse its just a day.

Prehaps shes was having a bad day

PiperRose · 28/09/2014 13:24

She said 'lucky you', she's happy for you and maybe a tiny bit jealous. What do you want champagne and fireworks?

Selks · 28/09/2014 13:25

Ditch her?? Slight over-reaction!
It's a text conversation therefore impossible to assess people's feelings and intent within the exchange. Maybe you caught her when she was having a bad day OP. Another way of looking at it could be instead of you expecting a certain response from her maybe you should be concerned that she is so unhappy.
Really though it's only a text exchange. Don't read too much into it. See her face to face instead.

gordyslovesheep · 28/09/2014 13:25

no but expecting everyone around you to be and to so upset when they aren't isn't really normal behaviour

PureMorning · 28/09/2014 13:25

Wow ignore the mistakes Blush

Must read before posting

PiperRose · 28/09/2014 13:25

No, being happy doesn't make you a Bridezilla, demanding everyone else is happy for you does.

PoppyAmex · 28/09/2014 13:26

I recently heard about people sending "Happy Anniversary" cards to friends and acquaintances and found it odd; it's such a personal celebration isn't it?

I just assume no one else cares about it but DH and me.

Original poster
worstdayever · 28/09/2014 13:26

Its my first i probably will be more indifferent years on, i wasn't looking for a well done just felt happy wanted to share it.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/09/2014 13:26

She was a bit off but I wouldn't pay any mind to it.

I'm never really quite sure what to say when someone tells me it's their anniversary.

I'd probably ask how they were celebrating (just to be polite) but I'm not sure 'congratulations' sounds right really, or does it?

Original poster
worstdayever · 28/09/2014 13:28

That's what i mean worra, if i support people through their stuff i would expect at least a polite response tbh , its not a stranger lol.

OP posts:
magpiegin · 28/09/2014 13:28

What's wrong with her response? Don't understand the problem.

snice · 28/09/2014 13:28

She said 'lucky you'-that surely is enough?

Did you expect cards and a parade? Its your anniversary so you and your parents/ILs will remember

usualsuspect333 · 28/09/2014 13:30

Maybe she just had the hump when you sent the text.

I'd just let it go TBH.

magpiegin · 28/09/2014 13:31

Poppy-we recently had our first anniversary, inlaws got us a huge card and got a few from older relatives. Shocked me- I didn't think anyone would even think of our anniversary!

LemonadeRayGun · 28/09/2014 13:32

It depends if she is like this all the time. I have "friends" who are really hard work, always feeling sorry for themselves, constant vaguebooking about how miserable life is etc. It would annoy me if someone responded that way to a text, some people are too self involved, it would be nice for a friend to at least pretend to be happy for you, easy to do on text!

If she is not normally like this then it sounds like she is feeling s bit down about her situation and maybe needs someone to talk to, you caught her at a bad time. Maybe give her a call and see if she is ok xx

whois · 28/09/2014 13:32

Well she is obviously feeling down about her relationship status, but it would have been much better to just reply 'lucky you' and leave off the rest for another day.

So she was a little bit U. But then generally no one cares about your anniversary except you and DH so unless you're having a party leave out the 'one year today so happy wappy with my hubby wubby' texts.

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