To Want to Complain(& to think DH handled this like a wuss]

[RockinHippy]

Or am I over reacting because DD is already having a really tough time & just didn't need this upset too

As her 12th birthday treat DD wanted a day of shopping with her best friend, including a meal in her favourite pizza place & then onto the cinema.

Sadly due to health problems, they were both too exhausted & overwhelmed by shopping in town on a Saturday - so they skipped the meal & headed home to chill out to recharge for the cinema instead (bizarrely not only do they share a less than common name, they both share the same health condition, which includes CFS & anxiety as symptoms :( )

They are both very sensible, mature 12 yr olds, who look & act older

On proudly arriving at the cinema to see a 12A film on their own, they were refused entry & told they need proof of age - nothing on the cinemas website or notice board says proof of age needed for a 12A, (only 15 & 18 - which is fair enough) SM was quite happy to take their money for over priced popcorn & drinks though, but not for cinema tickets

DD rang us, obviously upset & embarrassed to be stopped in front of a queue full of teens & preteens, but holding it together & acting maturely.

DH ran down to the cinema with her passport - that not only proved her age, but clearly showed it was her birthday - he told the staff member that it was DDs birthday & that they were both 12 & had parents permission to be there on their own.

Staff member was having none of it, refusing because he only had ID for one of the girls - DH said SM was polite & Young & he thought she might just be new & over zealous, so he didn't want to make a big fuss, but this SM refused point blank to back down no matter what DH said.

Though unfortunately DDs friend got so flustered that she accidentally gave her wrong month of birth, making her a week under 12, she corrected this, but SM refused to believe & insisted that they could only go in, if DH went in with them - At this point I would have been discretely demanding to see the manager - DH sadly didn't want to make any further fuss because the SM was polite & "sorry"

This ended up with DD running off to hide her tears as she was so upset & humiliated - on her birthday! :(

DH ended up having to go in with them - even more annoying, as I was at home just finishing off cooking a meal for us both

AIBU in thinking this was a bloody ridiculously Jobsworth thing to do & on DH arriving with passport the SM should have just backed down & apologised & to want to make a formal complaint?

TIA

Thank Alpaca I was ignoring that particular comment, not worth the waste of keyboard space, treating it with the contempt it deserved

Just to update - I did put through a short message to the main site as mentioned above & I was surprised to get a really quick response & a call from our local branch. The person who called was lovely, very apologetic etc, spoke to DD directly & apologised to her too & tried to get to the bottom of who served DD, she reassured DD that it's not to tell her off - turned out it is someone very new & they just wanted to make sure that all staff work the same way.

They took on board that a notice warning people that ID may be required for 18 & 15, but not mentioning 12A could be confusing, especially when they usually let DCs who look about 11 or older in without adults - that's their words, not mine & are going to change that.

They also clarified their policy on 12As, which is quite different from most responses on here & understandably a bit confusing.

Apparently for MOST films, it's discretionary, the staff are told to use common sense & not be too strict unless the obviously look very young, which generally doesn't happen around here as DCs tend to start getting a little more freedom from late year 5 onwards. So 11 is fine, often 10 is too.

BUT some 12As are worse than others & come with a warning to staff to use discretion, but generally be stricter with it, in the case of this particular film, they warning was that some of the humour is a little on the adult side, though nothing bad enough to make it a 15 - this is obviously is where it gets tricky for staff & why DD has had no problems before now.

The manager who rang was of the mind that the staff member who served DD has meant well, but has taken the rules too literally - obviously easily done as a lot of you do the same - they also said that the fines are for the adult content films, not 12a, so those of you bringing that up, are right, but not in this case

I didn't ask about the VAT, I forgot, besides they were too nice & I couldn't be bothered, even if it near remembered - but I've already answered that in an earlier reply

Alls well that ends well & DD was very happy that they spoke to her too, made her feel important & more grown up :)

Interesting response. Is this an independent cinema?

No, it's one of the huge chains, though TBH, I think with the nature of 12a films, I personally think it makes more sense

In which case, the information that the manager gave you is incorrect - it's not discretionary, and it's not open to interpretation. The staff member has not taken the rules too literally at all - they have followed them correctly, which the manager has chosen not to do. This information from the British Board of Film Classification - "The 12A requires an adult to accompany any child under 12 seeing a 12A film at the cinema. This is enforced by cinema staff and a cinema may lose its license if adult accompaniment is not enforced for children under 12 admitted to a 12A film".

Well that's what I was told & in the circumstances it makes more sense & I'm not going to argue with it

Obviously - because it suits your circumstances. However, the member of staff was absolutely correct to do what they did, and the manager may very well find themselves in hot water if the member of staff decides to take things further with Head Office, or if another customer highlights their discretionary approach to HO.

That approach from the manager sounds waaaay more complicated than it needs to be and open to staff all taking their own view!

It's company policy, not just this mangers interpretation of it, that was clear from the email I received too

blimey poor kids, sounds like a jobsworth. if it were an 18 i would understand but it seems like an overreaction for a 12 film.

I gotta ask, which cinema is it, because Odeon ID my nephew (16) for inbetweeners 2 and he does look more like 18-20.

Yet at cineworld, I took my 14 year old sister to see it and didnt look at her as if she could be under age. Yet they did the double take at my 30 year old friend.

Have they got an internal classification system showing which 12a films warrant more care?

I remember taking 2 of my DC to see Spiderman 2 which is a 12A. I went in to collect the tickets (as prebooked with my card) and luckily I was still there when they went in as they were turned away as they didn't have proof of age. So it is not unusual.
Fortunately for me the staff member DID believe me when I said they were both 12 or over (which is true, I was not lying or anything) and let them in.

Anyway what they did tell me was that these days most kids have an image of their passport on their mobile phone and the cinema will accept that (obviously requires them to have a decent enough phone) or alternatively will accept a photocopy of the relevant page of their passport. So we now have photocopies to use in future so we don't get caught out again. So no need to carry around your actual passport. (This was Odeon but I assume most cinemas would accept this).

It's an Odeon, but I know they are very strict with 15/18, it's made very clear on the website & notice boards & we know from older friends DCs that they don't bend if they are not with an obvious much older adult & usually not at all

Having connection problems, keyboard keeps dropping too .a so if I disappear that's why

That's good to know iwaly. Thanks for that info

Yes Yonic, that's how it was explained to me

Having learned our lesson about proof of age (see my previous post), funny thing was that DH dropped my DC off (with paperwork proof of age) to see another 12A film recently (Guardians of the Galaxy I think) and he bought them children's tickets instead of teen ones (DH not very familiar with pricing and just thinks of DC as "children") and they were pulled up on this because obviously if you are carrying a children's ticket you cant be more than 12!! It is an odd system because the teen tickets only cost 40p or 50p more than the children's ones. Anyway DH had to go and pay an extra £1 or something and came home muttering about the cost of the cinema these days!!

Sorry I agree with op.

Even if the cinema police were checking, no crime had been committed.
Both girls were 12.
Staff had checked.
What if the staff had asked the husband for proof of being an adult and he'd had none.
It's not as if the girls were watching something they shouldn't if they were actually underage is it? That is the difference between the 12a and a 15 or 18. -anyone can watch a 12a but it is illegal to not meet the age requirements of the other two.

Delighted to hear of a large company using common sense and discretion as a guide rather than officious fussiness

Even if the cinema police were checking, no crime had been committed.
Both girls were 12.

Yes, but one of them had 'fluffed' and said she was still 11. Which cinema employee in their right mind would let them both in after that?!
Ratings are there for a REASON. You look younger than your age, be prepared to PROVE that you're 12 if you want to go into a 12 film with no adults.
You can go in WITH adults, but not without. Take ID or take the consequences.
(For what it's worth I've got an 11 year old. I wouldn't be daft enough to send him into a 12 screening without proof of age next year as he could easily be mistaken for younger than 12!)

That's not Odeons policy. I reckon manager just told you whatever to keep you happy. Your daughters friend said she was 11 and your surprised she wouldn't be let in. Do you know how many people a week they get bringing parents in yelling about their ages. It's crazy. Get them both a citizen card

I'm surprised that it's Odeon company policy for staff to use discretion and allow children in without ID on the say so of their parents when the guidelines from the BBFC states that the cinema could lose their licence for doing this.

Both girls do not look younger than 12, both look & act older & are frequently mistaken for older than they are.

Daughters friend did not say she was 11, she said she was 12 - she made a simple fluff by getting the numbers the wrong way round when giving her birthdate DH, said it was obvious that she had done that as she was clearly very nervous & felt under interrogation - think saying 7/8 instead of 7/8 - this girl is a very elegant 5'6" & was also wearing heeled boots & both girls were dressed up to go out & are very fashionable - no way do they look less than 12, if they were it would make perfect sense - it doesn't, the staff member, who is not ticket office staff, was simply very new - first day & over zealous - confirmed by the company themselves & was DHs interpretation too.

& I'm with you clara, I think it's a very common sense approach to a grey area & I was impressed by it too

Oops 7/8 instead of 8/7

DH did handle it well enough, but I think he could have tried speaking with the manage

Well a good manager would back up their staff (unless they were being completely ridiculous and unreasonable, but that was clearly not the case here.)

Both girls do not look younger than 12, both look & act older & are frequently mistaken for older than they are

Clearly they didn't this time or a staff member wouldn't have tried to ID them.