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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Want to Complain(& to think DH handled this like a wuss]

181 replies

RockinHippy · 28/09/2014 11:26

Or am I over reacting because DD is already having a really tough time & just didn't need this upset too Confused

As her 12th birthday treat DD wanted a day of shopping with her best friend, including a meal in her favourite pizza place & then onto the cinema.

Sadly due to health problems, they were both too exhausted & overwhelmed by shopping in town on a Saturday - so they skipped the meal & headed home to chill out to recharge for the cinema instead (bizarrely not only do they share a less than common name, they both share the same health condition, which includes CFS & anxiety as symptoms :( )

They are both very sensible, mature 12 yr olds, who look & act older

On proudly arriving at the cinema to see a 12A film on their own, they were refused entry & told they need proof of age - nothing on the cinemas website or notice board says proof of age needed for a 12A, (only 15 & 18 - which is fair enough) SM was quite happy to take their money for over priced popcorn & drinks though, but not for cinema ticketsHmm

DD rang us, obviously upset & embarrassed to be stopped in front of a queue full of teens & preteens, but holding it together & acting maturely.

DH ran down to the cinema with her passport - that not only proved her age, but clearly showed it was her birthday - he told the staff member that it was DDs birthday & that they were both 12 & had parents permission to be there on their own.

Staff member was having none of it, refusing because he only had ID for one of the girls - DH said SM was polite & Young & he thought she might just be new & over zealous, so he didn't want to make a big fuss, but this SM refused point blank to back down no matter what DH said.

Though unfortunately DDs friend got so flustered that she accidentally gave her wrong month of birth, making her a week under 12, she corrected this, but SM refused to believe & insisted that they could only go in, if DH went in with them - At this point I would have been discretely demanding to see the manager - DH sadly didn't want to make any further fuss because the SM was polite & "sorry"

This ended up with DD running off to hide her tears as she was so upset & humiliated - on her birthday! Angry :(

DH ended up having to go in with them - even more annoying, as I was at home just finishing off cooking a meal for us both

AIBU in thinking this was a bloody ridiculously Jobsworth thing to do & on DH arriving with passport the SM should have just backed down & apologised & to want to make a formal complaint?

TIA

OP posts:
icedgem30 · 28/09/2014 15:32

Yabu, the staff are threatened with massive fines for not checking ID, but good for you for seeing sense :) I know how annoying it is, the other week i was completely refused service for a scratch card because I didn't have any ID despite clearly not being a school child!

YonicScrewdriver · 28/09/2014 15:38

Sure, but why should they believe DH?

Tbh, once they'd decided to ask for ID, no amount of people saying they were 12 would've made a difference.

I think he did the right thing going in with them to ensure that at least they got into the film that dd wanted to see.

Original poster
RockinHippy · 28/09/2014 15:40

Thank to everyone else for the replies - I have taken them on board, but after speaking to both DH & DD about this again. DH is annoyed that they wouldn't believe him & thinks it's crazy to expect 12 year olds to walk around with passports - I've thought on alternative ID & as someone else mentions above, that really isn't easy at this age, so effectively, an adult has to go along to get them in anyway, even though legally that's not required.

So I am going to complain, though more about the fact that the signage makes no mention of ID been needed for 12As too & they need to correct that to save others the same embarrassment.

DH is also angry that they tagged VAT onto the bill - this also showed up as a separate charge on the girls drink & popcorn bill too, again without clear notices saying it happens - which is annoying, crazy & is something that would stop us going back there ever again as we both hate unclear pricing.

So seems there's some changes gone on there & not for the better & they need to be told it's going to lose them customers- DH said the place was half empty - which on a Saturday night is very unusual

OP posts:
Ron99 · 28/09/2014 15:50

Validateuk and Citizencard both issue officially recognised i.d for 12 years upwards, your DD and her mate should get one of them.

VAT is often broken down on receipts I really don't see it as being an issue.

takeiteasybuttakeit · 28/09/2014 15:51

wow, what a sense of entitlement - if your DD has been there unaccompanied before, she has broken the law already- hardly a justification for complaining! Just because her friend looks over 12 to you, why would she to anyone else? And finally, if anything has an age restriction, then expect to have to show ID - just because it isn't spelled out on their website is no grounds for complaint - I would have thought anyone would understand that if there is an age restriction, then asking for ID is clearly justified. OP, you've no grounds for complaint!

Icimoi · 28/09/2014 15:51

But no-one is saying 12 year olds should walk around with passports, are they? About the only time they would ever need them is when going to 12A films.

Icimoi · 28/09/2014 15:52

Incidentally, OP, does you DH actually know the friend's age for sure? I have no clue when my children's friends birthdays are.

Original poster
RockinHippy · 28/09/2014 15:58

Thanks Ron that's very useful info

& yes, VAT is usually broken down on receipts & I wouldn't see that as an issue at all, see it all the time - but this was added on - on top of the quoted price, so effectively the cinemas published price list is wrong.

Yes DH knows DDs friends age for sure, they have been friends since 2 years old & their birthdays are quite close, so it's not something either of us forget

OP posts:
Snatchoo · 28/09/2014 16:52

Well I was under the impression that even if under 12, kids could go in by themselves with an adults permission - which they clearly had after your husband rocked up with the passport.

I might be moved to make a complaint, not about the staff member who as it was mentioned above, would have been told she would be fined and her job on the line if she let someone in underage, but in general to the cinema to make their policy more clear.

Ron99 · 28/09/2014 17:20

Publishing a price then adding vat seems stupid, it's not as though it's an optional payment!!!!!

ArabellaTarantella · 28/09/2014 17:36

DD has been going in on her own with other groups of friends for about a year - all of them 11 at the time & no one has ever questioned them

So you condone underage viewing then?

Original poster
RockinHippy · 28/09/2014 18:14

Arrabella it's a 12a, not a 15, there are tons of much younger kids watching 12as everyday - it's not underage if it's with parental consent Confused there were several much younger DCs in the queue behind DD, some who she knew to be 7/8

So hardly condoning underage viewing is it, it's a marvel superhero film, not hardcore porn or horror Hmm

OP posts:
kali110 · 28/09/2014 18:20

Just do what another poster said and get a citizencard.i had one as a form of id many years ago.
Think yanbu about the food but yabu about not letting the gis into see tge film. The cinema were not in the wrong.
It doesn't really matter if your dh said the friend was 12, if she hasn't got anyway to prove it then don't blame staff for refusing. As soon as the girl said her wrong age it looks bad.
It's a shame it ruined your dd birthday but they werent wrong. Don't even think it matters whether it doesnt say on the website. If they're going to be unaccompanied then they may be asked to prove that they're old enough to watch the film.

Bulbasaur · 28/09/2014 18:41

If this isn't a new or uncommon rule, then both girls should have already had their ID's.

It's like going into a bar on your 18th (or 21st here in the US) birthday and expecting the bartender to give you and your friend a drink with no proof.

Rules are there for a reason, I hate them as much as the next person believe me. But if that's the theater's policy, then they can't make exceptions without getting in trouble.

whois · 28/09/2014 18:54

DH is also angry that they tagged VAT onto the bill - this also showed up as a separate charge on the girls drink & popcorn bill too

Huh? What a strange thing to get pissy about. Of course they included VAT and it is almost always shown as a separate like ok the receipt. Check your tesco receipt or anything else in your purse. Price shown would have been the VAT inclusive price at the cinema tho.

phantomnamechanger · 28/09/2014 18:58

surely you are mistaken about the VAT on the receipt. Loads of places show the VAT separately, but the price paid is the same as on their menu/board.

eg something advertised as being £1.20 might show on the receipt as drink £1, VAT 20p, total to pay £1.20

AlpacaYourThings · 28/09/2014 19:08

Did you want to speak to the manager and used their conditions for sympathy?

What a horrible thing to accuse OP of! Shock

mynewpassion · 28/09/2014 19:23

OP, are you one of those people who need to have everything written out? If not, they will sue or complain?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/09/2014 19:32

I'm sorry your D.D did not get to see the movie on her birthday, but what can you complain about. I mean his his manager is hardly going to send him for a disciplinary for doing his job thoroughly.

mynewpassion · 28/09/2014 19:32

No on wonder manufacturers and companies have long, long paragraphs and small print about their policies to cover all eventualities or they will be sued. Some people are always looking for ways to make quick money.

Sometimes a little common sense is needed instead of complaining or seeing a solicitor.

ithoughtofitfirst · 28/09/2014 19:34

This happened to my friend and me once upon a time. Can't remember if it was my birthday or hers. I didn't bother ringing my mum because she wouldn't have given a shit!

At least you and your dh tried to sort it out, i can see why it seems a bit harsh but that person probably would have been in hot water for ignoring their policy.

Viviennemary · 28/09/2014 19:40

They were being a bit annoying but perhaps they have been in trouble before about letting under age youngsters watch films. So they are now being extra careful. But I'd be irriatated by this.

VivaLeBeaver · 28/09/2014 19:41

Technically it is underage even with parental consent if they're 11 if theyre on their own. Its only not underage if they're accompanied into the film.

Our cinema doesn't say anywhere about ID, not even for a 15 or 18. I'd have thought that 99.9% of people would have thought it was a good possibility they might be ID'd.

I'm sorry your dd was upset, at lease she saw the film.

SirChenjin · 28/09/2014 19:42

What a mountain out of a molehill. The rules are the same for everyone, and they're not new. Well done to the member of staff for doing their job properly - and if nothing else it's a reminder to you to ensure your DD has the correct ID on her in the coming years when she will be asked for proof on a regular basis.

takeiteasybuttakeit · 28/09/2014 20:02

Films classified 12A have been deemed appropriate for viewers of twelve and over. However, they can also be seen by younger children - PROVIDED they are accompanied by an adult - so if your DD has seen films unaccompanied, she has been breaking the law - so really, you don't have a leg to stand on!