Re DS dunking child at swimming

[sezamcgregor]

DS is Y2. They are going swimming with school. It's on Thursday afternoons. There are 24 in his class.

The class is known to be "lively" with "lots of big characters". School have also identified Thursday and Friday afternoons to be hard work as children are becoming tired and harder to keep concentration.

So, children split into two groups of 12:

Group A - Non swimmers, armbands on in shallow end, swimming teacher plus two school staff members

Group B - Swimmers (can swim without armbands) at the deep end, swimming teacher

Two incidents occur towards the end of the lesson, one of which is DS pulling a child under the water as he over took her.

Pulled over by Head Teacher today and put forward my mitigation that a) there was one person to 12 children who school know can be challenging b) it was Thursday afternoon which school know is a difficult time slot.

HT totally dismissed my comments.

She said that she will also be speaking to the swimming instructor as she should have alerted school staff earlier that she could not cope with the group. (Surely school staff would have noticed if she were not coping and offered to help??)

DS is missing next week's swim as a consequence - which is fine. I have no problem with that and agree that there should be a consequence.

But AIBU to think that she needs to look at the whole picture? I have a kind of "well, what did they expect to happen" view of it

Only1scoop - I did not know about the ratios until after the incident.

I can't see how higher ratios unless the ratio was 1:1 would prevent this happening, your child pulled another child under the water, unless there was a teacher swimming right beside your child he would have still had the opportunity to do this.

Get your parenting skills up to scratch and tell your DS if he messes around at swimming lessons again or ever dunks another child then you will stop him from going

You need to make it very clear to your DS that this is NEVER acceptable behaviour, it is dangerous, frightening and could set another child back a very long way with their water confidence. 12 is a large group for one instructor but who is to say he wouldn't have done it in a group of 4.

Do you think with more supervision he wouldn't have 'dunked' other dc then?

Why?

I'm not surprised your ds "needs extra supervision in the class" if he's grown up thinking he can blame his appalling behaviour on the day of the week!

Agree with everyone who says your attitude stinks.

You need to be backing the school in their attempts to discipline your child. I'd be horrified if either of my DCs had done this. In many schools he'd be banned from swimming for a term.

Is it possible that your child misbehaves because you seem to think he isn't to blame for his behaviour?

Teaching to swim using armbands is crappy.

What was the other incident?

DS was raved at by his teacher. He did not need me shouting at him as well.

We have talked about it calmly. He knows he shouldn't have done it.

School were being very helpful last year with trying to get support for his behaviour and I feel like we've regressed a lot having come back after summer.

His teacher last year was very kind and caring although she knew when to be stern.

Teacher this year seems to like to shout and frankly shouting isn't going to help DS. He needs boundaries and support - not left until it's too late and then shouting at.

I'm just surprised that school KNOW about him and his behaviour but still thought it was a good idea to have him and eleven other children with one teacher in a swimming pool.

I think that I'm just annoyed because HT is going to tell of the swimming teacher and is placing blame on to her rather than looking at what could be done in future to avoid anything like that happening again.

She made it clear that if they did have a second person to supervise and to keep DS's group in check it would be "to the detriment of the non-swimmers" rather than seeing it as a positive step to take.

Did you tell him off OP? It's really not acceptable behaviour to do something like that to another child, in fact it's very dangerous.

"He needs boundaris and support" - OP he should.know not to do what he did. He still did it. He had boundaries. He still misbehaved. So was shouted at.

kinky another child pushed a child into the pool

Could you offer to supervise your child during the swimming sessions. They seem to be using all of their resources, and he may have to miss out entirely if his behaviour continues to be unsafe.

Shocked op. You have told you son off for potentially drowning another child. Roles reversed how would you feel if your ds had been pulled under by another child and you know the parents had told that child off only the teachers. Yes overkill maybe but this is serious.

This is quite a serious misbehaviour issue in an activity such a swimming. Personally I think your DS should be missing the activity for the rest of the term or at least half term. Yes there does seem to be a problem with the numbers and the school should address that. But even with smaller numbers ducking is just simply not on.

ThinkIvebeenhacked Yep. The class get unruly, DS always takes it a step too far.
We've had chats with the HT where she's pointed out that children seem to like "getting DS into trouble" by pushing him to get a reaction.
He knows its wrong, but at that moment when he does it, he seems to have no disregard for the consequences.

Currently being pinged from doctors, behaviour support etc

As there is nothing officially "wrong" with him, school seem to think that shouting at him will eventually make him stop.

I'm just surprised that school KNOW about him and his behaviour but still thought it was a good idea to have him and eleven other children with one teacher in a swimming pool.

So, all the other children should miss out on swimming lessons because of your son's bad behaviour?

It's quite obvious where a lot of your child's behaviour stems from. I pity the school and his classmates.

NeverGoogle unfortunately not, I work during the week

Maybe the solution would be either you come to watch your son or as he cant be trusted in the pool he goes to another class when swimming occurs.

So now its the other kids fault for "winding your ds up"?

DS was raved at by his teacher. He did not need me shouting at him as well.

So you didn't back the teacher up, then? What punishment are YOU going to give?

he does need a bollocking at home too. This is so he knows that this is nasty and possibly dangerous behaviour, and to send signals that he does as he is told at school and that home backs up school.

he knows it is wrong. So back that up with consequences.

Your sons behaviour can be explained with your attitude. You still seem to think that the school is at fault. If he cannot manage himself, and as you say always takes it too far then do not put other kids at risk by allowing him to continue. I feel for his teachers that have to put up with him.