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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think maybe I am losing my mind, need some advice please

174 replies

fragileyourock · 24/09/2014 20:50

Bear with me please as I think maybe I, m over reacting I dont know. In my bathroom upstairs I have white vinyl tiles on the floor and I am pretty anal about keeping them clean and the toilet. Once a day normally mid morning I clean and bleach the toilet then I wipe the floor with disinfectant wipes. Its just me and my son who is eleven.
In the last two days something weird has been happening in the bathroom please dont laugh as its scarying me. We always and visitors take shoes off downstairs never go upstairs in shoes. But for some reason there have been footprints and hairs on the bathroom floor, tiny curly black hairs. Its not from my son as he is not hairy and its not from me because I use hair remover and did this two weeks ago.
I get a gut feeling that somebody is doing this or maybe my mind is losing the plot. But I, m racking my brains as to a reasonable explaination. I know I must sound deranged but something is not right

OP posts:
LisaMed · 25/09/2014 09:54

We are in a row of terraced houses. A few years back, when the police came knocking at one house for the tenant he used to go into the loft, along the row of houses and down into another house. One day the police were waiting in the loft. All the houses now have locks on their lofts, except us who have no loft access.

I would seriously try and jam the loft or wedge a bit of paper or hair or something there to rule it out.

Good luck.

Acolyte · 25/09/2014 09:57

Close the bathroom door and stick some sellotape at the bottom, across the join.
It's a sure way to see if it's being opened or not and less obvious, and messy, than flour/baby oil.

CheeseandPickledOnion · 25/09/2014 10:22

Were all the locks changed?

Original poster
fragileyourock · 25/09/2014 11:11

All of the windows have locks on them but the day when the vase incedent happened I had gone out and left the bathroom window slightly ajar but it locks so it can only be opened so far, like a sort of safety lock. My son also does this with his bedroom window slightly ajar. Imam now checking all windows are shut before going out.
This person does have previous convictions for burglery but for commercial premises so does have the knowledge to get in and out! He went through a phase of leaving things on my doorstep whilst I have been out for me to come back crapping myself as to was that him or not. It came out in court that it was him and he laughed it off. The judge took a dim view and said he belived he was doing it to frighten and intimidate me, hence why he is not allowed near me for the next two years. We lived together very many years ago and split up many years ago but he made a strange statement in court that he had decorated the house so why should he not come round!
All suggestions posted I have taken on board.

OP posts:
Original poster
fragileyourock · 25/09/2014 11:12

Just the frontdoor locks have been changed

OP posts:
QuintessentiallyQS · 25/09/2014 11:17

Does he know the locksmith?

Original poster
fragileyourock · 25/09/2014 11:29

No I wouldnt think so as the locksmith is a housing association contractor. He is very sneaky and calculated and this has been going on for nearly ten years his behaviour. He has in the past thrown acid on my car, spat on it, scratched it, driven into it, reported false allegations to social services, the benefits people the list is endless.Some of these were outside my house when the car was parked up on the drive and other times he would do it outside my workplace whilst the car was in the staff car park. I have been left a nervous wreck and couldnt function properly for a while, anxious and nervous. I dont want to go back to that place again and its probably why I am reluctant to face this. You are all being a great help because normally I would close myself off.

OP posts:
CarryOn90 · 25/09/2014 11:35

OP I'm so sorry this is happening to you, it sounds terrifying.

Definitely call police and also collect hairs for evidence.

Sounds as though this person is extremely calculating and knows how to wind you up a certain way so you're not sure if it's all in your head. It definitely isn't! Call police and keep yourself and your son safe.

Personally I would go and stay with some family, is there anyone nearby?

Thanks
Hairtodaygonetomorrow · 25/09/2014 11:36

fragile you poor thing. However the fact that you have had a stalker and been harassed in the past, and that there is an order of no contact with you means you should definitely report this to the police. Can you get in touch with the officer/liaison person who dealt with the case last time?

I understand why you don't want to get in touch with them, it will make it all real again and you would rather move on, but if he's in your house or there's any attempt at contact you must must tell them so they can put better protection in place for you. Also, if he had broken the order (is it still in force?) then he could be arrested/put away for this as well.

Do you have a friend or relative who could support you in reporting this? Even if you don't, please report- and give them the hair! (in fact whoever said don't touch it or the footprints just call the police is right). This might get this person away from you for once and for all.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 25/09/2014 11:42

Please take all the advice of other posters and phone the police.

CheeseandPickledOnion · 25/09/2014 11:53

So it's possible he has a key to the back door then if you have one? Can you get that changed too?

Roobix04 · 25/09/2014 11:56

I think it's clear that you should ring the police. At the very least just so they have a record of this stuff incase anything else happens.

PunkHedgehog · 25/09/2014 12:24

If he has previous convictions they will have fingerprints and probably DNA on file. Clean everywhere, including door handles. Next time you find anything odd touch nothing and call the police immediately so they can get good samples from the scene.

SerenaVDW · 25/09/2014 12:25

Oh op I'm so sorry for how anxious this is making you. Please get it logged with the police so they at least have a record.

Can you speak to your landlord about having the locks changed.

Agree with PPs about putting something across doors before you go out, lift included. I don't think trying to do a stake out would be sensible though.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 25/09/2014 12:33

Oh OP this sounds horrible for you :(

I can totally understand you hoping it's nothing or you imagining things... But I don't think it is unfortuneately.

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 25/09/2014 12:37

Can you get a little camera to hide in your house? That way you get definitive proof of what is going on.

spiderlight · 25/09/2014 12:40

I read the first few posts and was going to suggest that maybe you had a really big spider living in the bathroom, but having read the rest of the thread it sounds a lot more serious than that and i agree that you should notify the police.

AmItheonlyonezenaroundhere · 25/09/2014 13:10

I agree with the others that you need to go to the police and at least have your worries put on record. Maybe call the non emergency line and tell them about your history with that person and that there's a restraining order (is that what it is?) in place. Remind them of the person reported hiding on your property and the break in and let them know that you are now worried that this person may have access to your property as things are being moved/ there are footprints that do not belong to anyone in the house.

Seriously consider some form of hidden camera and extra locks on doors.

Vycount · 25/09/2014 13:40

Op, you started this thread yesterday, everyone is "screaming" at you to call the police. Every time you post you give us more and more reason to say that. So are you going to do it today?
Oh, and if anything happens meanwhile don't clean the floor, just leave it for them to see!

Igotafreegoattoo · 25/09/2014 13:50

guard dog hire

If it is him the cruel bastard will get a shock next time he comes in

Pancakeflipper · 25/09/2014 13:56

Have you phoned the police or gone to your local station to talk to them, do you have the details of the team of policemen attended before? If so get in touch with them. Now.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 25/09/2014 14:02

I've read this thread with mounting horror, are you ok OP? I'm just going to echo every one else and say go to the police.

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 14:09

Yes. Have you called police today? If not that is of utmost importance.

springydaffs · 25/09/2014 14:13

Dear God, he needs to be put away! And that's only going to happen if you make it known to the police. He has history, it would be straightforward as he has broken the 2-year bar. You really must make this known to the police. It must be terrifying, which it is meant to be. Be brave op, it has to be done xxx

bumpitybumpbump · 25/09/2014 14:25

Pls call the police OP. We read too many awful stories in the papers about nut jobs these days and you must put you and your son's safety first. If this person is breaching previous court orders then they will be imprisoned eventually but you must report so it's on file. Sending you hugs because this sounds truly bloody terrifying.