To leave our DCs in our house while we go next door for dinner?

[Tapewormuprising]

Our neighbours have invited us for dinner next week and i was wondering what people's thoughts were on this.

We live in a semi-detached house on a quiet road. Our DCs are 8 and 15 months. 8 year old will be in bed reading and will fall asleep at about 8.30 and our 15 month old will be asleep with a baby monitor (we will be able to get signal next door. There is also a movement sensor). We'll be one room away really.

So, will we be awful parents if we leave them?

I think anyone that says they can 100% predict what any child will do in any given situation is an absolute fool.

Aeroflot Stop scaremongering. They cannot "remove" (hate that term!) a child for a one-off poor judgement. It would have to be pretty damn serious for an EPO to be granted based on a one-off e.g. a caregiver sexually assaulting a child.

**an EPO or any other care order.

I definitely wouldn't do it. I have a habit of thinking about things this way: 'What would the papers say if something went wrong?' Headline: Parents leave 15 month old baby and 8 year old sister alone in asthma/kidnap/fire/accident horror'. If you're not sure, always err on the side of caution, after all, they're the most precious things in your life. Madeleine Mccann springs to mind for me unfortunately.

I wouldn't, OP. I'd either find another babysitter, have neighbours round to yours or put children to bed at your neighbours and take them home afterwards.

Yes, chances are you'd probably get away with it, but the outcome if you don't is too terrible to contemplate. When you're talking about the most precious thing(s) in your life, my view is you err on the side of caution rather than on the side of risk.

I would never do it and would think badly of someone who did. And yes I would report them.

First time I was home alone, I was 8 years old… and my parents went to a party until the wee hours of the morning that was miles and miles (more than an hour) away.

But these day, people are extra careful… not like the olden days.

When I was growing up the four children next door were regularly left alone.

One night the children woke up to find their mother dead in the front garden.

Well that's a useful contribution to this particular debate, combust. Good one.

Ermm, okay combust . Why is that relevant to this scenario?

Snort

Because that mother was just "popping out" for drinks with a neighbour.

Righty ho. And she ended up dead in the garden because......??

Er, would it have been less traumatic to find her dead in their livingroom? I'm still struggling to see the relevance.

Anyway, nobody has explained to me why the neighbours couldn't serve their dinner in the OP's house- it seems the obvious solution.

BOF, the OP seems strangely reticent when repeatedly pushed on that particular question

I wouldn't - I couldn't relax knowing my children were in a locked house alone.

I think Randoms tale is a very cautionary one.

I also imagine Police and Ss would take a dim view should the worst happen.

Just not worth the chance.

Cant they come to you / bring the food across?

There are not physically any further away than in your own home, true.

But there is a locked door between you. And it is a different house, and you are at a dinner party with noise and chat and laughter.

And you are relying on a baby monitor. Noises are deceptive at the best of times. I don't suppose the place will burn down, or an axe murderer will break in. But the baby could be sick, or bang his/her head, or the 8 year old could wander out for a pee and and fall down the stairs and knock himself out. You could so easily miss that tiny bump over a monitor when you are laughing and talking. Unless of course you spend the whole dinner party with it rammed against your ear.

And whereas at home you can stick your head round the door and go, nope, nothing, must have dreamt it, are you going to rush back and check every time you hear a funny noise?

It's not about will the kid wake up. It's about all the tithings that can happen in a house at night with a baby in it.

Nuts. Pointless when you could have them round instead. And not a good thing in someone with a professional background in childcare.

Way to lose your registration, livelihood and professional reputation.

Yabu. It's a totally avoidable risk, albeit small. If something were to happen, unlikely as it may be, how would you ever forgive yourself?

I wouldn't do it. Especially if there was a chance I might peg it on the way round to my neighbours.

I've not read all of the thread but no way would this be a reasonable thing to. YABVU.

You say you are a childminder. If I found out my childminder thought this was a reasonable thing to do I would have to rethink them being responsible for my children. No doubt I'll get jumped on for that remark but I don't care.

Yanbu. You deserve a night out and a decent meal.
Your kids will probably survive and although I know that some SS depts would be interested in the matter, unless there's an incident of significant harm nobody can "do you" for neglect.

Good grief. So often i am stunned by how low the bar can be set for parenting choices by some posters on this site.

In case anyone missed the sardonic tone, i think it would be unreasonable to leave children of this age alone at home to go for dinner.

You'll be one room away really ? I don't think it works like that OP

Yes you would be awful parents to do that just get a baby sitter or accept having kids means staying home looking after them

No.

Smoke and fire. You may not hear the alarm or you may hear it and not be able to get back in time.

No aliens, mad axe-men etc

Pay a responsible teenager to babysit.

People who think it's unreasonable to go next door in semi-detached house: do you think the same about flats in a converted house? The house could easily be one home occupied by a family - but is split into flats. Is it equally unacceptable, in your opinion, to lock door of flat with kids asleep and go upstairs - with monitor - for dinner with neighbour?