Bra-less at my BBQ?

[BioSuisse]

Last night DH and i hosted a BBQ for newish friends whom we had never hosted before. DH invited a female colleague whom i had never met before. She turned up with her boyfriend but not her bra. She was wearing a thickish cotton white top. You could see the outline of her boobs and nipples if you looked.

After the party i mentioned it to DH. He claimed to not have noticed.

MN jury?

Haha. This thread is hilarious.

Good for you, upthechimney.

Difference of point of view...have you ever heard of it?

UpTheChimney, I think I love you. Ina fully aware of my own sexuality way, obviously, being similar old hippie.

I tell you, I'm going to BURN MINE, UpTheChimney... even if I have to walk slowly and seductively as I go, sashaying about to entrap any inattentive man in my wake... I might even give up wearing knickers too, to ramp up the effectiveness...

HumblePie

Was your post a joke? Dressed modestly with her head covered. That was a joke right?

I read it as a joke, Thebody, sarcasm...

Sorry, I agree with the OP.

OP's BBQ, presumably at OPs house .. OP's rules frankly. And yes, I do think it's rude to turn up in a cotton t shirt with no bra on at a work colleagues house. Sorry to all the bra burners here, but it is disrespectful.

OP's rules? since when do hosts dictate what female guests wear?

Since always. Hence the well known phrase "when in Rome".

It's presumably the OP's husband's house also - he's the host and inviter of the guests. Perhaps he didn't specify the dress code properly?

Then perhaps the OP should have stipulated a dress code, if her 'rules' are so important.

Comedy value of katykaye, excellent! Nobody can see breast outline without staring!

Kk.. You may need to pop to the opticians. People don't need to look that hard!

Lolz!

Op, you must be reeling to see what you have unwittingly provoked!

bio maybe she has the "right" to turn up braless at your barbie, but equally you have the "right" to be uncomfortable.

Yanbu.

YANBU (re OP)
I think it is inappropriate to go braless if you are out and about, have big boobs and are wearing a white tee shirt. I think it's an odd thing to do. I'd also think it inappropriate to turn up in your pyjamas or if a guy turned up with those really droopy jeans that show off your arse crack. It would also be inappropriate to dress in really dirty clothes.

It's not to do with being a prude, I'm not the least bit bothered if I am at the swimming pool and people are wearing swim suits but i welcome a bit of conventuality in normal social situations. A bit of cleavage etc is all fine but big boobs and no bra at all is a bit attention seeking.

So visible cleavage + push-up bra = fine, but fully-covered breasts + no bra = not fine?

I think that people do need to take into account the OP's preferences when visiting the OPs house. The norm for most women is wearing a bra. Just like the norm for men when attending a high brow event is wearing a suit - these social norms do exist and if you choose to go against them, you risk offending people. Now if you don't mind offending people that's fine, but when you're turning up to a work colleagues party you should either decline or wear something appropriate for the occasion.

YANBU Bio.

My SIL never used to wear bars under tshirts or vests and It was odd. She wasn't huge but there was lots of jigging and wobble and it was just all a bit too nipplely.

I've no problem with going bra less under dresses or tops that have a bit of support, especially in the evening, but day time jiggling and see through nipple action is unusual and IMO a bit inappropriate.

Katiekaye i am not gay. I have already said so earlier on this thread. I don't have a problem with my sexuality, this thread is not about me being gay. Why is everybody saying such mean things?

I think people are being really quite nasty and unfair on this thread.
OP, I do think YABU but make no assumptions on your sexuality, marriage, physical appearance or mental health.

As for the 'slut shaming' comments in this thread, that is slightly ironic seeing as anyone who dares to disagree with the bra burning sentiment is being berated for their opinion.

How is showing off a presumably uncovered 'arse crack' (bleurch) in any way similar to being covered up but braless? Men never feel concerned to restrain 'moobs' do they?

I've never see a woman displaying an 'arse crack' but have been unfortunate enough to see that AND 'moobs'.

It's the 'mob' effect, OP . I'd just ignore them - some of them are obviously missing the playground.

BioSuisse - Unfortunately, this is a public forum on which people say things in which they would never likely have the guts to say to you in real life. You also see the usual bullying behaviour from some posters who not only want to aggressively argue their opinion but also put other women down.

Plinky... I don't mind what opinion anybody else has but when a woman judges another woman I might question it. What does OP's husband have to say about this? Was he uncomfortable too? If so, perhaps no subsequent invitation should be extended.

^^ This.