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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bra-less at my BBQ?

551 replies

BioSuisse · 21/09/2014 09:59

Last night DH and i hosted a BBQ for newish friends whom we had never hosted before. DH invited a female colleague whom i had never met before. She turned up with her boyfriend but not her bra. She was wearing a thickish cotton white top. You could see the outline of her boobs and nipples if you looked.

After the party i mentioned it to DH. He claimed to not have noticed.

MN jury?

OP posts:
Penguinsaresmall · 21/09/2014 11:27

Ive never seen anybody drying their minge hair in public Shock

GertrudetheMongrel · 21/09/2014 11:28

I feel sorry for the OP. Her DH invites a busty Russian to her house - I'm thinking Cristina from Strictly now - and the buxom lovely is pretty comfortable with her bouncy boobs.

And your DH is her boss. Are you worrying that he will fall for her ?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2014 11:31

'Spidey senses'? Blimey, if I were OP's husband I'd be utterly disappointed in a wife who thought that I would be so disrespectful of a marriage.

Do you think this Russian lady was brought over for her breasts then, gamerchick? Not capable of doing anything with her brain? Do you think that OP's husband has been given carte blanche to just recruit internationally for women with no qualification, just on the basis of their figures?

Perhaps OP's husband is Peter Stringfellow... that would explain it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2014 11:33

She took he BOYFRIEND with her... she didn't push the OP's husband into a chair, straddle him and start gyrating, did she? Shock

I feel sorry for this Russian woman, and OP's husband.

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/09/2014 11:33

Tbh I'd think it a bit odd.

I wouldn't want to see someone's boobs bobbing around either. Most of us wear a bra don't we?.

MarianneSolong · 21/09/2014 11:38

I wouldn't want to see someone's boobs bobbing around

So the party took place on a trampoline or involved high-impact exercise?

Original poster
BioSuisse · 21/09/2014 11:40

Lyingwitch why do you feel sorry for my DH? Because he is married to me? Am i really that awful?

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 21/09/2014 11:41

I know loads of women who don't wear bras ever and would rarely even notice it.

The only underwear that you get to have an opinion on is your own.

PiperRose · 21/09/2014 11:41

Things I've learned from mumsnet.

  1. It is entirely acceptable, nay, celebrated to wap your baps out in public if you have a feeding infant attached to them.
  1. It's entirely unacceptable to cover them with a layer of clothing and parade your perfect bosom at a BBQ.

The world is a confusing place.

gamerchick · 21/09/2014 11:42

I'm not saying anything but I'm not going to take the piss out of somebody like you lot when clearly the OP isn't happy about something she might not be saying.

If I'm wrong then fair dos.

JanineStHubbins · 21/09/2014 11:42

It's sad that women's bodies have to be so strapped down all the time, according to posters here. Any deviation from that is portrayed as exhibitionist or flirtatious or predatory.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 21/09/2014 11:43

DH probably would have noticed and he would have pointed it out to me, who probably wouldn't have noticed.

Pointing out all manner of things about other women, prettyness, size of tits, VPL etc is a vaguely irritating habit of DHs, but I've had 26 years of it.

He was admiring the TEFL students on our second date (all of whom were far prettier than me).

He's an odd ball geek and he wouldn't expect most girls to look at twice, so he's not looking with the intent of doing anything. He's just male.

JanineStHubbins · 21/09/2014 11:44

Pointing out all manner of things about other women, prettyness, size of tits, VPL etc is a vaguely irritating habit of DHs

That sounds horrible. It's not 'just male' to do that.

BolshierAyraStark · 21/09/2014 11:47

I'd have thought it odd tbh as there is no way I'd tip up to a do with DH's colleagues minus my bra, but hey that's me.

There is no way your DH didn't notice, he's trying to be diplomatic.

BolshierAyraStark · 21/09/2014 11:48

Errr no, that's not 'just male' Hmm

MewlingQuim · 21/09/2014 11:48

They are a bit of a weird couple, OP, I would be a bit Hmm at a cuple of strangers turning up at my house with no underwear on too.

However, yo do realise tthat if your DH said " he wasn't wearing any underpants and his cock showed through - did you look?"

You would have to answer "yes, I did look at his cock"

Grin
Viviennemary · 21/09/2014 11:51

YABU. She was covered up wasn't she.

ernesttheBavarian · 21/09/2014 11:51

well, I also think it's inappropriate and would feel uncomfortable. If she wants to go bra-less that's up to her of course, but then wouldn't think a tight-ish white top a suitable covering. Mind you, I was drilled from an early age for a bit of modesty and decorum.

I would also think it a bit odd as although it's a social event, there is the new boss there. Is her bf russian and come over with her, or has she just acquired him in her very short time here? Totally irrelevant to no bra and bouncing boobs, just nosey.

I really struggle not to look at things which catch my eye. I notice everything, so I would have probably been openly gawping at her tits all night Blush.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2014 11:51

No, BioSuisse, I would feel sorry if he were married to somebody who thought so little of his commitment to his marriage that he would in any way be distracted by other women's figures.

It's normal to compare ourselves, healthy even - to a degree - but if you make something of this then you are doing your husband, and mostly yourself, a huge disservice.

HumblePieMonster · 21/09/2014 11:54

she came to your house when your husband was in. she should have worn a bra, and all the other clothing needed to be modestly dressed. ideally, her hair should also have been covered. not that mine ever is.

but I'd be suspicious of her, OP. if she's showing them off to him when you're there, what is she like when you're not?

moxon · 21/09/2014 11:54

I read the title as 'bra-less at my B&Q'...Grin

Original poster
BioSuisse · 21/09/2014 11:56

lyingwitch i think you are getting a bit carried away with yourself. I have never compared her figure to mine or suggested my DH did so. Read the full thread please, don't make wrong assumptions.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2014 11:56

Elephants... I think your husband is hugely disrespectful and, just because he knows he wouldn't stand a chance doesn't in any way excuse his letchery. It has nothing to do with 'being male' it has everything to do with self-esteem and respect.

I would be wondering what I was thinking if my husband did this, I certainly wouldn't tolerate such disrespect as you describe.

Original poster
BioSuisse · 21/09/2014 11:57

Her boyfriend she met last weekend at a party, she didn't bring him over from Moscow.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/09/2014 11:59

I did read the thread, BioSuisse. You never did say exactly what your problem with this woman was. Why is that?

I'm not carried away at all, just mildly amused that a woman would post like this about another woman who has done nothing wrong. Ditto your husband who, unless had his eyes out on stalk cartoon-style, also did nothing wrong.