to be so desperate for some help that I just want to walk down to the local A&E

[Margaritte]

I have namechanged for this, as am pretty regular (not for a few months though)

I am suffering from pnd for the 2nd time in my life. I self helped the first time, having had the option of AD's or nothing. DH & I managed, although he did have some time of work as I got quite unwell. Always have underlying anxiety, though well managed.
Fast forward a few years, and a 3rd child. Now I start to recognise those feelings. Left it a few months, then went to the DR on Monday (different area) and have an appointment to see someone for help on Monday next week.
Thing is, I cant cope. My DH is at work & will be all day tomorrow (not home until after midnight) I want to get up and walk away.
He has tidied, washed up, organised a throw together dinner, got the dc in the pjs all before leaving for the night (couple of hours ago) I just cant do it anymore though.
The other night, I started an arguement with him at 2am (when he got in from work) and walked out as I just wanted to walk & walk.
Its truely awful as I get glimpses where Im ok (kind of) and its terrifying me as I can see it is getting worse, yet am unable to stop it. Im having unwelcome thoughts and am paranoid my dh is going to stop loving me.
I dont know what to do, and I cant stand it

Thankyou for posting, and do keep posting
I've found this thread helpful as I have been struggling myself lately

It sounds like you've made some enormously positive steps forward. Well done Magritte. You have accomplished this. You, not anyone else.

Do you want meal suggestions for the whole family, or just for you?

Thank you sarine1.

Donnadoon, I hope you are ok. Please feel free to pm me if you want to.

Littlefish- Just meal suggestions for the family that are easy to make and healthy still.

I'm ok thanks, just feeling quite over whelmed with life lately, I wish DH could work less. Tired but can't sleep. We soilder on huh ?

Something I've found really helpful for dealing with depression (and it may be the last thing you feel like doing) is joining the gym.

It gives me a couple of hours a couple of times a week where I get away from everything and destress a little. I go on my own so I don't have to cope with being sociable and I sometimes exercise or sometimes just sit in the spa pool and do nothing. I also find it helps me make the effort to get up and dressed and leave the house and by the time I get back I'm tired but at least I'm up and doing things so it makes doing other small jobs feel less overwhelming.

I'm so glad you're feeling better OP and I hope things continue to improve for you, I'm sure they will. I hope you don't mind my sharing something that helps me, I know it won't help everyone but for me those brief periods of escape from the real world give me the strength I need to make things better.

All the best