You! Yes you interfering cow in Boots!

[grobagsforever]

No my baby was not too hot under a shade. I only put it on whilst in the air conditioned shop! I have had enough of friends and family interfering with the parenting of my children since DH died without strangers chipping in. I'm 33, smarter than you'll ever be and she's not my first baby.

You have now made me cry in public. Thanks.

I mean I ignore judgmental comments. Not I ignore younger women!

iK8, I got those kinds of remarks too

I think it's true what somebody upthread said that some people get defensive when they see something done differently from how they did it as they feel they have to justify their own choices.

DS 3 was having a meltdown in aldi's a few months ago and would not listen! An older gentleman said 'stick to your guns love'. Made my day!

I'm sure I probably had negative comments when he was a baby too - but can't remember now.

So sorry for your loss OP this is the kind of comment than can tip you over the edge!

I've had one shitty remark off a man in 2 and a half years but mainly things like 'are you looking after mummy?' and 'he's smashing'. Oh and one eye roll for breastfeeding in a cafe. I'm not overly sensitive about negative response to breastfeeding though. Because that just makes someone a complete twat.

ithoughtofitfirst What was the shitty remark?

That he looked like a little gay boy. He had painted nails tbf. But it really upset me because it made me think of how my brother who is gay (and has never had his nails painted!) and the crap he's had to put up with over the years. I'm sure the guy didn't mean to upset me as much as he did though

I think you're right about it being defence Pacific. Sometimes though it's just people being totally baffled and not speaking before they think but even then both are rooted in the same social conditioning of a couple of generations ago.

Things were very different a generation or two ago... around about the time childbirth and child rearing because a commercial business Being told not to pick up the baby because you will spoil them, give them formula because you don't want people to think you're poor, no dads in the delivery room because it's the not their place and doctor knows best, buy this book and do that routine etc etc etc. When you think about it like that then it's really surprising more people aren't being told they're doing it wrong!

I don't know what young childless people's excuses for judgemental comments are though. Presumably the naïveté of youth or that sense of knowing everything that occurs shortly before you realise you know very little at all?!

Well, it's fine and dandy wanting social contact or feeling like starting a chat with someone. It isn't an excuse for being rude.

The issue seems to be for me around the presumption that this total stranger knows how your DCs "work" better than you do. DS2 sometimes hangs back or refuses to budge when we're out. If I keep walking he caves in and catches up. If I try to go and get him though he runs away and I can't easily catch him and also keep an eye on DS1. Cow: "Do you know your child is over there on his own? You should go and get him." Bollocks. It might have worked for your lot but if I did that I'd be searching the shop for the pair of them for the rest of the morning. And if you knew anything about small children at all, it'd be that no two are alike and nobody knows them like their parents do. So fuck off do one.

I used to get comments all the time - ds2 hated the car and hated the pram so used to scream constantly when in either. Do many people used to comment "oh is he hungry?" "Does she not feed you?" (To him) etc etc. if I was in an ok mood I'd try and laugh it off but so often I was stressed and upset by his crying anyway and it used to have me on the verge of tears, or in tears.

I remember your thread about your dh when he was ill, I hope you are doing ok x