Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband sulking is he BU?

164 replies

mumof2wonderfulboys · 18/09/2014 07:46

My 4 year old bought a doll in the supermaket last night which my OH was very unhappy about, he says dolls are for girls, he doesn't appreciate the toys he's got and expects too much.

Last night he told our son he is f*cking furious and this morning has ignored him every time he has tried to speak to Daddy.

Is this behaviour being unreasonable?

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 18/09/2014 14:34

OP after reading your first two posts I was going to suggest, as others have done, they you remove your son from this abusive, misogynistic and homophobic man as soon as possible. But I am very relieved to see that you are already making plans to do so asap. Good luck. Your poor son deserves so much more than to be rejected and told he is "wrong" just for being a normal child by one of the two people in this world who are supposed to love, protect and support him completely utterly and unconditionally. Thanks

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 18/09/2014 14:36

Good on you for deciding to leave. As everyone has already said, your husband's behaviour is abusive.

There's a lot of very knowledgeable and supportive people in the Relationships forum if you need any hand-holding or practical information. Good luck, OP. You've made the right decision.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/09/2014 14:40

Good for you leaving, OP. Flowers Good luck.

Lweji · 18/09/2014 14:44

Agreeing with everyone else.
Good luck with leaving.
And do post on relationships for practical help if you need.

Veritata · 18/09/2014 15:05

Tell him the Dark Ages called, they want their dinosaurs back.

Original poster
mumof2wonderfulboys · 18/09/2014 16:20

Thanks all :)

Favourite expressions so far have to be dinosaurs and is he on glue:lol:

Spoke to him this afternoon (and managed to secretly record it on the phone!) He said he will continue to treat son like shit (his expression) until he learns some respect. I said did he realise he was being abusive and he said yes (I clarified this 3 or 4 times) He then had the cheek to tell me me had to present a unified front on this and he was prepared to give his opinions to the school too. I said if he thought I was prepared to abuse our son he had another thought coming. He then said if I didn't back him on this he would consider he'd lost his son out of it. (no, you are about to loose both sons and your wife as I'll use this as the final straw!!)

OP posts:
SaggyAndLucy · 18/09/2014 16:26

wow! just Wow! what a nasty piece of work. Good on you op for getting out of there!

FrenchJunebug · 18/09/2014 16:29

You need to think of your son and leave the guy.

murphys · 18/09/2014 16:29

Bloody hell OP. What a prize prick! Good luck with moving on.

FrenchJunebug · 18/09/2014 16:30

sorry just caught up. Well done you Wine. What an horrible man.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 18/09/2014 16:32

Keep that recording, it could prove very useful later when he starts rewriting history.

You are doing really well. I would just keep your head down now and quietly carry out your plan on your terms. Don't engage with him or seek a showdown, it could get nasty and won't do any good.

Once you've left and are settled safely somewhere else then you can tell him your reasons if you still want to.

AgathaF · 18/09/2014 17:05

Wow what piece of work he is. You are doing the right thing for you and your dc in leaving him.

How are your plans to move out going?

soapybubbles123 · 18/09/2014 17:18

You brave woman Thanks

Stay safe and keep posting, we're all right behind you. Have you got a support network in RL?

Don't tell him you're leaving, it will be safer for you and your boys if you're just not there when he gets back.

PM me if you need anything.

shushpenfold · 18/09/2014 17:40

...back up that recording! Well done you. xx

WeirdCatLady · 18/09/2014 18:19

Well done you xx

AllThatGlistens · 18/09/2014 18:27

You brave brave woman Flowers

Keep posting, keep that anger fuelled and get you and your boys safely away as soon as you can.

AnnieLobeseder · 18/09/2014 19:56

Fantastic work on recording him.

Wow, all over a doll. What a terrifying concept that a little boy should learn how to be a father. Hmm

I'm sorry you're going though this mumof. But he's certainly making your choices easy for you, isn't he?

DownWithDaddyLongLegs · 18/09/2014 20:59

well done!

PersonOfInterest · 18/09/2014 21:24

Good Luck Thanks I'm sure you're going to look back on this and be so glad you're not with him anymore.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 18/09/2014 21:26

Just wow. Your VSTBXH is the biggest twat ever. "I'll continue to treat my son like shit" dear god! Please please print out this thread, and as you leave throw it at him and show him that every single decent human being in the world thinks he is a complete cunt.

LindyHemming · 18/09/2014 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Futurebird · 18/09/2014 22:15

Hi OPs STBXH!

The world thinks you're a twat and you deserve to be alone!

Bye! X

borisgudanov · 18/09/2014 22:43

Good Grief. This must be one of the finest examples of a total fucking bastard we have seen. Washes his hand if him? Take him at his word. Treat him like shit? He'd have to get within 100 miles first. I am aghast at how anyone could be such an utter ... well, even the c-word isn't strong enough. Completely vile.

Morloth · 18/09/2014 23:02

Try to keep calm, don't tell him anything.

Just get yourself and the boys sorted and go.

He will destroy them if you stay with him.

mumeeee · 18/09/2014 23:16

OP I have been reading this thread and getting more and more upset abouthow your husband is treating you and your little boy. You are doing the right thing in getting out of there and leaving a horrible abusive man. Try to keep calm and be brave you will do it.