Husband sulking is he BU?

[mumof2wonderfulboys]

My 4 year old bought a doll in the supermaket last night which my OH was very unhappy about, he says dolls are for girls, he doesn't appreciate the toys he's got and expects too much.

Last night he told our son he is f*cking furious and this morning has ignored him every time he has tried to speak to Daddy.

Is this behaviour being unreasonable?

my silence would be my way of showing disapproval too as I wouldn't be there and neither would my son

Seriously op, this isn't the vipers saying "leave the bustard" it really is disgusting and abusive. His silence is a classic form of emotional abuse.

Sorry OP, but your DP is an arse!

Swearing like that at your son is just uncalled for, I'd suggest your dh seriously reconsiders his attitude

Poor little boy.

Silence is a behaviour I find nasty and I find myself on the receiving end of if I step out of line and argue/disagree. This is the first time my son has been on the receiving end of it and I just wanted to be sure it wasn't me overreacting.

So what are you going to do about it? From your last post you are being emotionally abused and not only do your DSs see you put up with this (thereby probably think it's the norm) but he is now emotionally abusing your DS aswell.

What are YOU going to do about it. You have to protect your DCs (and I'm sure you are which is why you're on here asking for advice).

Make sure you DON'T bury your head in the sand when the good advice starts coming. Act now.

Good luck OP .

If you 'step out of line?'

You're not overreacting. What are you going to do?

Poor little boy. What's wrong with having a doll FFS?

My DS had a kitchen & a typewriter - clearly he's going to become a gay secretary

I'd be sitting my 'd'h down and telling him in no uncertain terms that his behaviour is wrong. If he continues to behave like this then I'd be telling him to leave.

Treating a child like this can have serious repercussions for them in the future so please please sort it out. You have to protect your son (and yourself).

He needs to grow up. YANBU.

What???? He swore like that to a 4 year old. That's disgusting.

Both my twin sons had dolls and a pram. Why wouldn't they?

sorry but your dh is a prize arse!!

I hate the bs about gender specific toys. dd is 1 and got a doll and pushchair forever birthday but she also got a train and a bunch if cars and a garage to play with

Op would you be willing to call Women's Aid? They can give you the information you need to make decisions around this horrible situation

Monstrous behaviour. Jesus

My little boy had a doll and he had a buggy when he was little. He was so unbelievably sweet and gentle and loving to this little doll. The thought that someone, anyone, let alone an adult he loves and trusts, could have been abusive to him because of it (or any reason) makes me feel ill.

You need help and you need it fast if you've been so habituated to this man that you've had to check whether you're overreacting. Please get it so that you can protect your boys.

YABU to subject your son to this vile man.

Your poor, poor DS. Please get the hell out of there, don't be the woman that lets her children be subjected to emotional abuse because she's too weak to do something about it.

What ellasmum said.

This is abusive behaviour.

Who is this 'macho man' that he needs to pick on a little boy? Does it make him feel big and strong? Pathetic. Sorry this just makes me fume. My boys have dolls including a baby doll. My 4 year old pushes him down the street following his Daddy pushing his little brother. Strangely enough, my husband does not feel threatened by this. Sit yours down, ask him to listen without comment for 2 mins. Lay your thoughts and feelings out calmly and succinctly and then tell him he can take some time to think about his reaction. His response to this will tell you a lot about him.

I have 3 boys, they all had kitchens dollies and prams.
Two of them are now great dads who take a total shared care approach to their children.
I'm very proud of them.

Well exactly Ledkr. DS wears his dolly in a sling while he belts round the garden on a scooter or helps to mow the lawn. Because he knows that men raise babies too.

OP, his behaviour is utterly vile, YANBU.

I suspect aback story to this In relation to how the "dh" treats the op

My DS had a doll and shared his sister's pram and once even went to the supermarket in a nurse costume. My ex had some misgivings but expressed them privately to me. We're all influenced by our upbringing - I wouldn't automatically leave, but this behaviour needs to stop. If this is a pattern and he's not willing to work to improve it, it won't be a good environment for your DS to grow up in. Or for you, frankly - the silent treatment sucks.

But in addition to the silence was the language. And the intent behind it.

Aren't they a problem too?

(Yes, they are. A big one.)

That is absolutely disgusting! I had toy cars, my brother had a toy kitchen and hoover. Neither of us grew up to be sociopaths or - dun dun duuuuuun - gay.

Your husband is being emotionally abusive and the fact that he treats both of you like that should be ringing huge alarm bells. You need to think long and hard about what sort of environment that you want your child to grow up in.

I strongly suspect you have put up with emotionally abusive behaviour from your H over the years for a quiet life. He may well have knocked your confidence so hard that you actually started to believe that he was reasonable and you must be at fault - this kind of reversed thinking is not unusual when you are constantly walking on eggshells.

You may have normalised and accepted his behaviour towards you over the years BUT you can see it clearly when it is directed towards your DS. Sometimes it is hard to see how someone is treating you but it becomes really obvious when it is directed towards someone else you love.

Your H is showing you the person he really is - a man who will swear at and shun a young child because they don't meet his stereotyped expectations.

Please speak to Women's Aid.