Ok - one day 'trying it' isn't going to cut it, I'm afraid. Particularly when you have already decided to have a tin of SMA in, just in case it's hard. It takes a good few weeks to get the hang of, and bits of your scabby nipples will fall off (or you will pick bits off so that your baby doesn't choke on them) during the period when bf gets established. Hopefully it will hurt for just a few days, but it's this sort of information that doesn't get handed out freely, and is why a lot of younger mums (and older mums) give up after 'trying it' for a day or two. It's bloody sore until you both work out what you are doing, and not in the least bit mother and baby mag soft focus. (Think toe curling awful at latch). By a couple of months? Sure thing, easy peasy, but don't go expecting it to be hunky dory on day three, or you will be one of the 'you tried it but it was too hard' crowd that reach for that handy tin of SMA to make the pain go away. Your mw will have seen the backtracking from a bazillion mums, teen and otherwise, who run for the formula as soon as they can. She just doesn't want you to have to go through that knock to your confidence if you don't understand how hard it will be.
So you left school at 14 and moved in with your 17yo bf, and won't be going back to education for another three years? How does that work? Is there a get-out clause for ft education if you are upduffed?
Congratulations. You sound very together, but 'I'll try it for a day or two' is showing your naïveté, however many expected challenges you can rattle off glibly. It's almost as if your mw was trying to suggest you might not understand the practicalities of bf, and may find it a huge shock... Of course, if indeed she did say you would be stupid to try it, then go ahead and complain, and ask to be seen by a different one.
On your other questions, once you are in labour you will be expected to get your bf or his dad (sorry, not calling him fil) to drive you to the hospital - or call an ambulance. 19 miles isn't the ends of the earth. How pg are you? Sometimes you won't get the opportunity to discuss birthing options until your booking-in visit with the hospital, and then the consultant will go through everything. If you haven't had your anomaly scan yet, then they will be wanting to get those results too, before advising. Your bf and his dad are happy for you to home birth?
Hope it all runs smoothly for you. (Incidentally, I don't think I've ever discussed bf with any midwife - what you do is up to you. If you want to bf, bf. it's no great shakes, and really they don't usually care - I found my med notes from a 6 week check that said that I had tried to bf ds1 but it didn't work, so he was ff. all completely made up, as ds1 didn't ever take a bottle in his life as he had a plastic phobia from being nebulised at 10 weeks (double pneumonia from rsv). I pondered complaining, as I clearly consider myself the bf queen of the west, however, I realised I would only be doing it to build up how great I was - it wouldn't make a jot of difference to anyone else, and my ego isn't really that precious).
Just don't discuss bf if you find it emotive, and get on and do it once your baby is here.
Good luck.