Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To rehome or not?

106 replies

snork1 · 15/09/2014 19:50

We have had a dog for about a year but around three weeks ago he bit my son. It was an accident, my son is only three and fell on the dog and the dog was startled and bit my son but it frightened the hell out of both me and my husband and obviously the my child.
The dog is a terrier and has always been quite nervy, not with us but other people. He goes bonkers when people come to the door and then leaps all over them, not in a good-wanting-a-fuss way but a please-leave-my-house-way. We have had various behavioirists in and vet advice and so now distract him but it is always quite difficult to manage this behaviour. Now I love this dog, with all his quirks and bonkers ways but my husband doesn't, he has never really bonded with the dog. He wants me to rehome, he says he is tense all the time around the dog wondering if this will happen again. He says its not safe having other kids in the house to play. I have been trying to keep everyone apart and it is stressful and sometimes very difficult. He is massive pressure on me to find another home, when I tentatively rand round a few shelters, no-one, I mean no-one would even touch him because he has bitten, despite the extenuating circumstances.I mentioned this and my husband said that maybe putting him down was the only option and I was completely shattered and horrified. I feel so cut up inside about all this, there is such a tense, difficult atmosphere and I weep every time I look at the dog but I feel like my hand is being forced and that it is seriously effecting all the family. I have a seven year old who loves the dog but my husband is so wary he hardly lets her go near her. I have to admit it was pretty terrifying to see the dog lunge at my boy like that and I am worried it may happen again because who can foresee something like that happening??. I am at my wits end and losing sleep about it all. Looking at it rationally the dog is probably not a good fit for a chaotic young family and probably needs a calmer, adult home but am at a loss and don't know where to turn. Added to all this crap we are moving in four weeks and it all feels so stressful and unfair. I am massively beating myself up about it.

OP posts:
wheresthelight · 15/09/2014 20:08

sorry but I stopped reading after you said the dog bit your child. Rehome and ensure the rescue know it cannot be trusted with children

I have a Patterdale who is bonkers and highly over excited, she play fights with dp and occasionally nips during this but it has not mattered what my dsc's or dd have done she has never flinched. dd is 13 months and regularly falls and lands on the dog and she just lies there taking it.

everyone knows that the second she ever bit the kids then she will be taken to the vet and put to sleep

yabu and you are putting your children danger. listen to your husband

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/09/2014 20:13

If your DS fell on him, no surprise that the dog reacted . I think most dogs would - maybe not with a bite but certainly a warning snap.

Your DH cannot trust him, it sounds like he's never trusted him. What was the dog like when you first got him. Has he got more and more wound up as your DS got older? Is your husbands wariness making the dog more nervy?

There may well be a terrier appreciating family that wil take on your little dog. But the Dogs Home are chocka with all sorts of dogs that haven't bitten. It seems a shame that's all they see , and have written off your dog.

Can you put this into Doghouse on Pets.
Lots of advice there.
I'd suggest a muzzle but I'm sure there are loads of people who would say 'no'.

Is there anyone who can 'Dogsit' him while you move, see how his behaviour is in a different environment?

LadyLuck10 · 15/09/2014 20:17

It's a NO brained that the dog should be removed. What if he bites again, or another child? You say his behaviour to manage is difficult, I wouldn't keep it any longer. Sorry I know you are fond the dog but your child is a priority.

KnackeredMuchly · 15/09/2014 20:19

I'd rehome him. You will never be able to relax about his guarding behaviours etc around young children I'm sorry.

secretreveleater · 15/09/2014 20:21

I would never be able to relax and trust a dog if it had bitten one of the DC.
I understand you feel guilty but how would you feel if the dog bit your child again? If some real damage was caused?

No dog should get a second chance to bite a child imo.

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:23

It's hard to say if my husband's wariness is making the dog more nervy, I'm not sure how I would gauge that anyway but I don't think the dog is wary with us really, he seems pretty fine. I think it was a terrible accident but it is unnerving to think that the dogs default reaction is to bite when startled. I have had many dogs and that has not been their 'default' reaction, so I can see it is very worrying. What's Doghouse on Pets? Sorry to be so ignorant. :-(

OP posts:
Nohootingchickenssleeping · 15/09/2014 20:23

Get the dog to a vet first for a healthcheck. If he's got an underlying illness and/or is in pain that could explain him being snappy. At least get that out of the way before you make your decision, please?

Liara · 15/09/2014 20:23

Did he actually hurt your ds when he bit him?

If he only nipped and didn't hurt him then I'd say that's no big deal, if he hurt him then that's not so good.

PrettyPictures92 · 15/09/2014 20:25

Sorry if he's bitten your child then you'd BU to keep him.

Saying that, there are many and more options than just putting him down. You can advertise on pets sites for a new home, but make it VERY clear that he is not good around children otherwise he may well end up being put down if a new family takes him and he bites a child, whether theirs or someone else's. Tbh I don't blame your DH wanting the kids away from the dog, but it's unfair that he's never made an effort to bond with him either. It does sound like your dog would benefit from being with an owner who could properly handle him and his behaviour than having to be kept away from the rest of the family as that'll only make him worse.

I hope you feel better soon, it's always devastating when you need to rehome a much loved pet, they become part of the family so quickly Flowers

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:26

The problem I have is that even if I went forward with the rehoming who would have him? You are right in that dogs homes are full of 'nice' dogs that haven't bitten anyone and even they have trouble finding homes. :-( I feel physically sick thinking euthanasia might be the only option.

OP posts:
londonrach · 15/09/2014 20:27

Sorry stopped reading at the dog bitting..... Rehome now or at least remove from children....

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:27

He was checked afterwards. The dog is fine, just reacted out of fear.

OP posts:
Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:28

Liara, yes, a puncture wound.

OP posts:
ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 15/09/2014 20:28

OP I think you need to get this moved to the Doghouse, you'd be getting v different replies with lots of experience and knowledge about next steps that may not include rehoming and which could help you.

londonrach · 15/09/2014 20:29

Personally if my dog bit a child theres is only one place that dog would be going.....

LadyLuck10 · 15/09/2014 20:30

It does not matter if it was only out of fear. Can you be absolutely certain that your DS will never fall on your dog again?

LEMmingaround · 15/09/2014 20:32

Was it a bad bite? Was your ds hurt?

Your dog can sense your husbands dislike of her. That is why he is so nervy

What have you done to make the dog feel more secure? Does he have a bolt hole? Do the children know to give him space?

Are you sure there are no medical reasons for the bite? My rottie bit my dd when she trod on his leg it turned out he had bone cancer :(

You wont be able to rehome him sadly so the only options are work on making him feel more secure and your dh work on his anxieties. Or you put the dog to sleep. Is he castrated?

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:33

No, I was answering someone's question that he is not unwell, Sure, that's the whole problem I know I can not guarantee it will never happen again, if I could then I wouldn't be on here bawling my eyes out.

OP posts:
Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:35

Bad bite? It was tow puncture wounds to his face. I reiterate that the dog isn't nervy with us, he was nervy when he was trod on! Yes, he's castrated.He has a crate where he is left alone and presently we don't let the kids anywhere near him so he is definitely left alone.

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 15/09/2014 20:40

My honest opinion is that it was an accident. I do appreciate it must have been very scary for you.

How is the dog generally with the children? Really i think its not fair to expect a dog not to snap at the source of pain fear. In that split second. Did he bite just the once or was it sustained?

Sorry for all the questions just trying to builda picture

oddsocksmostly · 15/09/2014 20:41

Sorry to hear your having these problems. It's a really difficult decision for you. I have a rescue dog with 'issues' that we were unaware of at the time. Like you, we bonded with the dog before we realised. However our dog is fine with family, but anxious around strangers. It did impact on the family as we have to carefully manage situations where he may get stressed, which means shutting him away when people come round, and not letting small children run round. I did used to have sleepless nights about rehoming him, but he has never bitten, so we persevered. If I couldn't trust him with family, I don't think I would have.

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:43

Just bit once, dog is fine round the kids but boisterous and sometimes knocks them over. We have never left them alone and were all there when it happened but I have had dogs who you could fall all over and they would never react like that. I do think terriers are more prone to snap generally after what I have read. :-( I did not know this previously though!

OP posts:
Random1999 · 15/09/2014 20:45

our jack russell bit me when i was about 11 and he got rehomed, thing is my mum had to pay 200 quid as a fee so he could be retrained and rehomed under a specialist just because she didnt want him put down... you may need to look into that.

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:46

oddsocksmostly, I had no idea how upsetting and stressful it could be. :-(

OP posts:
Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:47

Thanks, that's very helpful and good to know.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread