To rehome or not?

[snork1]

We have had a dog for about a year but around three weeks ago he bit my son. It was an accident, my son is only three and fell on the dog and the dog was startled and bit my son but it frightened the hell out of both me and my husband and obviously the my child.
The dog is a terrier and has always been quite nervy, not with us but other people. He goes bonkers when people come to the door and then leaps all over them, not in a good-wanting-a-fuss way but a please-leave-my-house-way. We have had various behavioirists in and vet advice and so now distract him but it is always quite difficult to manage this behaviour. Now I love this dog, with all his quirks and bonkers ways but my husband doesn't, he has never really bonded with the dog. He wants me to rehome, he says he is tense all the time around the dog wondering if this will happen again. He says its not safe having other kids in the house to play. I have been trying to keep everyone apart and it is stressful and sometimes very difficult. He is massive pressure on me to find another home, when I tentatively rand round a few shelters, no-one, I mean no-one would even touch him because he has bitten, despite the extenuating circumstances.I mentioned this and my husband said that maybe putting him down was the only option and I was completely shattered and horrified. I feel so cut up inside about all this, there is such a tense, difficult atmosphere and I weep every time I look at the dog but I feel like my hand is being forced and that it is seriously effecting all the family. I have a seven year old who loves the dog but my husband is so wary he hardly lets her go near her. I have to admit it was pretty terrifying to see the dog lunge at my boy like that and I am worried it may happen again because who can foresee something like that happening??. I am at my wits end and losing sleep about it all. Looking at it rationally the dog is probably not a good fit for a chaotic young family and probably needs a calmer, adult home but am at a loss and don't know where to turn. Added to all this crap we are moving in four weeks and it all feels so stressful and unfair. I am massively beating myself up about it.

OK, OP, I take your point but in fairness you've been a bit snippy on here and a lot of people have just tried to be nice and helpful.

And I second LEM –Cleanin's offer sounds fantastic if you have decided to rehome the dog. The potential owner sounds very experienced and as though he has plenty of time for the dog, and it'd be easier than trying to find a shelter (especially a no-kill one).

happyandsingle being passed on from one home to another is a fate worse than PTS, being neglected and abused is a fate worse than PTS. For a nice example see a recent thread in the Tackroom where a riding yard owner 'saved' a pony from the meatman but immediately started looking for a new home as she could not keep it. The OP was thinking of taking it on but had no experience of ponies and the pony was currently loose in a field as no one could even catch it much less handle it. This pony needs intensive retraining to be safe to handle and then up to 30 years of expenses and care for the rest of its life. Funnily there isn't a queue of people waiting to take it on.

I may have been 'snippy' as you so nicely put it but I am pretty upset so I assume I may be excused. it's a great offer and I am very grateful but I don't want to prolong the agony of losing him to get him back in a week because he doesn't fit in.Three dogs is a lot to take on for one nervy dog who is used to being on his own but I shall consider it carefully. I have spoken to The Patterdale rescue who are now looking. They are experts and do not rehome with kids. Am hoping something positive will happen, TinyDancingHoofer, in theory that sounds fab but I have been trying to keep them apart for three weeks and that has been bad enough, pretty sure a year would be near impossible, unfortunately I don't live in a mansion! ;-)

Good luck OP. I was wondering if your dog might be a Patterdale from your description of his traits. I hope everything works out for you all

I think it will turn out OK, you will find a solution you will feel is the right one. Don't rush x

Op, you sound terribly alone in all this. Any dog would bite if someone/thing fell on top of it. I would lash out. It sounds a bit as though your dh is looking for reasons to get rid of the dog. The dog has done nothing wrong. Behaviourists are curious people and they are all very different. It can take a lot of effort finding one who suits you. There is a lot of advice in Dog magazines, and the contributors often have their own practices. Whatever you chose to do it sounds as though you need a bit of hand-holding in the real world.