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Original poster

To rehome or not?

106 replies

snork1 · 15/09/2014 19:50

We have had a dog for about a year but around three weeks ago he bit my son. It was an accident, my son is only three and fell on the dog and the dog was startled and bit my son but it frightened the hell out of both me and my husband and obviously the my child.
The dog is a terrier and has always been quite nervy, not with us but other people. He goes bonkers when people come to the door and then leaps all over them, not in a good-wanting-a-fuss way but a please-leave-my-house-way. We have had various behavioirists in and vet advice and so now distract him but it is always quite difficult to manage this behaviour. Now I love this dog, with all his quirks and bonkers ways but my husband doesn't, he has never really bonded with the dog. He wants me to rehome, he says he is tense all the time around the dog wondering if this will happen again. He says its not safe having other kids in the house to play. I have been trying to keep everyone apart and it is stressful and sometimes very difficult. He is massive pressure on me to find another home, when I tentatively rand round a few shelters, no-one, I mean no-one would even touch him because he has bitten, despite the extenuating circumstances.I mentioned this and my husband said that maybe putting him down was the only option and I was completely shattered and horrified. I feel so cut up inside about all this, there is such a tense, difficult atmosphere and I weep every time I look at the dog but I feel like my hand is being forced and that it is seriously effecting all the family. I have a seven year old who loves the dog but my husband is so wary he hardly lets her go near her. I have to admit it was pretty terrifying to see the dog lunge at my boy like that and I am worried it may happen again because who can foresee something like that happening??. I am at my wits end and losing sleep about it all. Looking at it rationally the dog is probably not a good fit for a chaotic young family and probably needs a calmer, adult home but am at a loss and don't know where to turn. Added to all this crap we are moving in four weeks and it all feels so stressful and unfair. I am massively beating myself up about it.

OP posts:
tak1ngchances · 15/09/2014 20:48

If my dog bit my child's face then he would be out the door, no question. And I could not re home him in the knowledge that he was a biter. I do not care what the circumstances were. I would expect a dog to bite only under extreme provocation or attack in any case but with a small child it shouldn't even be under discussion.
I say all of this as a dog lover but safety has absolutely got to come first. I am totally with your husband.

Liara · 15/09/2014 20:48

Hmm, puncture wounds to the face really is quite serious - and I say this as someone with a lot of tolerance for nips from dogs (provided they do not break the skin), and with young children.

It does sound like the dog would be better suited to a house where there weren't children around, but I personally couldn't just dump him in a rescue - even a no-kill one.

oddsocksmostly · 15/09/2014 20:49

Just had another thought, I had another dog previously that was anxious with small children, who snapped when my toddler 'trapped' her in a corner and poked her with a stick. She went to live with my parents for a few years, and was fine when my DC was older and knew how to behave around dogs.

LEMmingaround · 15/09/2014 20:50

Terriers are just like any other dog if they get hurt. I have two and they are amazing little buggers who are brilliant with my dd. Could i garauntee they wont bite in fear or pain? Absoluely not. No one can guarantee any dog 100%

Nervous dogs are more likely to bite than non nervous dogs.

I really think you should give your dog a second chance. What type of terrier is he?

A one off incident with no other signs of aggression towards your family wouldnt have me running off to pts. It sounds like your dh is using this as an excuse.

What do your guests do when the dog is reactive?

cherrybombxo · 15/09/2014 20:51

I have a JRT and he is rubbish around children, he has barked and snarled twice at children who have run up to pet him at the park and I've had to pull him away and explain that he's nervous. He's fine with adults and most other dogs though.

I'm not surprised your dog reacted when your DC fell on him and terriers can be snappy at the best of times. It sounds like he really went for the little one though if there were puncture wounds; my JRT snaps when he's in a bad mood but it has never left a mark as he is just giving a warning. I'm sorry that you have to make such a horrible decision but pets sense tension and it could aggravate the situation.

KnackeredMuchly · 15/09/2014 20:52

A bite to the face, wow.

Ordinarily I would rehome, bit I do think this dog is your responsibility for life - even if he is rehomed he will always be a risk to children. I would seriously consider speaking to charities about rehoming him and listening carefully if they recommend euthanasia.

That said, if he lived in a quieter home he might feel a lot more settled and be at less risk.

itsbetterthanabox · 15/09/2014 20:53

Why did you get a dog when you have such a small child? I think you need to research and find a good home for the dog. Not just anywhere that will take the dog but a good home. Do not kill the animal.
Please, please don't get another pet. They aren't toys.

LEMmingaround · 15/09/2014 20:56

Itsbetter i think you are being harsh. It was an accident. Albeit really nasty.

Op please repost for advice in the doghouse.

Where abouts are you?

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 20:59

My guests are told to ignore the dog, which is pretty impossible to do. I would very much like to give him another chance but this isn't looking hopeful. I have asked everyone I could think of but no-one is keen to take on a reactive terrier who has bitten. I have also contacted the police and working dogs places (sniffer dogs etc) to see if they would have him just to sound out the possibilities but in my heart of heart I guess I have been hoping my husband would change his mind so have kind of been ignoring facing up to my choices.

OP posts:
Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 21:01

We are in Yorkshire.

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 15/09/2014 21:02

I hope your dh changes his mind too.

Where abouts are you?

gentlehoney · 15/09/2014 21:03

I think there is a big difference between a dog reacting in pain and a sustained attack.
Perhaps dog training classes (Maybe your husband could do this?) will boost his confidence and make him calmer and easier to control?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2014 21:03

The trouble is, it's not just this one incident, is it? You mentioned that He goes bonkers when people come to the door and then leaps all over them ... in a please-leave-my-house-way which admittedly doesn't involve biting, but still seems to show a dog which is out of control

I have to admit that, if it was me, there's no way such a dog would be staying in our house

gentlehoney · 15/09/2014 21:05

Puzzledandpissedoff, couldn't this be solved by training?

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 21:07

He is definitely anxious around people that he doesn't know initially but around us he has always been fine and in every other way he is great. He has superb recall, sits, stays, find things, fetches, gives his paw etc so it's not that he isn't trained and my husband went to many classes with him, hasn't made any difference, he just wants the dog away from his kids.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2014 21:07

Very possibly, gentlehoney - but obviously I can only speak for myself, and with the dog's history being like this I wouldn't be prepared to take the chance

overslept · 15/09/2014 21:12

Don't put this dog to sleep. You will go on to regret it, especially as you have already said you feel pressured into this by your husband. It is obviously not what you want.

The bite was an accident, the dog did not set out to harm somebody and has never bitten visitors/strangers even though he isn't keen on them. If he were a truly aggressive dog he would have bitten before without having somebody fall on him as the cause.

LEMmingaround · 15/09/2014 21:12

Oh too far for me to come and see your dog.

A few suggestions which you may have tried:
Low protien dog food. James well beloved quite good. Anything with a high ptotein content is like rockrt fuel.
A DAP pheremone diffuser - made such a difference to a problem rescue dog i had. £££ though.
Yes it is difficult to ignore a mental terrier when its all over you.
You need your dog to realise its ok for people to come into the houseand its not his job to protect you or himself. Visitors are a good thing. Food is your friend - you offer tasty treatz when your dog leaves visitors alone ( you need a couple of willing volunteers to enforce this). When the dog is calm (oras calm as a terriercan be) get your friends to offer the dog a treat but only if hes calm. You need to be relaxed as you possibly can. Terriers are like little mind readers mine know if im in a bad mood before me sonetimes!! Positive positive all the time. Don't shout at him to get down as he thinks oooh why is mum shouting these people are stressing her out so can fuck off...

sorry these things probably already been suggested.

Sadly you need your dh to be onside or it wont work.

LEMmingaround · 15/09/2014 21:14

I didn't type treatz on purpose! !

EggsAreRound · 15/09/2014 21:18

two puncture wounds to his face

And you're still considering keeping the dog? No way would that dog be around my child, and I would be very angry if for instance my child were invited to a house with a bitey dog and I wasn't told about it.

Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 21:19

LEMmingaround, thank you for your kind words. We have done all these things, he's actually on a special calming diet and herbal stuff, we wait for him to calm and then treat and then he gets a king to keep him happy or a ball. We have been working with a behaviourist on and off for ages. He's absolutely great around us except for this incident, very well behaved, you wouldn't think it was the same leapy dog really you wouldn't. I don't think husband is willing to give the dog any more investment or time...

OP posts:
Original poster
snork1 · 15/09/2014 21:20

Well EggsAreRound you will be very happy to know that everyone is aware of it and we don't have playdates round since it happened so no worries there...

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/09/2014 21:21

In the three weeks since he had the incident has the dog given you any reason to doubt him?
This is what your DH is looking for. I'm not saying he's looking for a chance to say "I was right you were wrong, I knew this would happen" but he doesn't want the chance for it to happen again.

I would defend any animal the right to defend itself, and it does sound like genuinely the dog reacted from fear rather than aggression.
But I also believe strongly that an owner is responsible for an animal for the entirity of it's life. And if you can rehome him, hand on heart, somewhere that he'll be happy and respected , but not a risk to anyone. And that home will keep him, then fair enough.
Otherwise , do you want him to go from home to home which is what might happen? Or lengthy periods in a Dog Home.

It sounds like you are exhausting every avenue , but the risk will be there.

bronya · 15/09/2014 21:22

Can you keep them separate? Give him the run of the garden and kitchen only when the children are awake for example? I have a terrier and her reaction to that would be to squeak and run off. I am always careful of my son around her though, because even at 2 years old he's bigger than she is.. A friend of mine has a few rescue dogs, and my toddler has been taught to stay away from them.

Nightowlagain · 15/09/2014 21:34

Seriously if a dog had given my three year old puncture wounds to his face he'd be gone that day! I don't get how you can even consider keeping him tbh.

Yes you can train him, etc etc, but what if he bites and scars your child? Blinds him next time? Sorry but I strongly disagree with those saying give him another chance, he's a danger to your child.