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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why some women don't attempt breast feeding?

111 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 15/09/2014 13:22

Honestly, this isn't intentionally as goady as it might sound. I just want to say that I bottle fed ds, and think that it's entirely up to the individual mother and family as to what works for them.

I'm genuinely just interested but would never ask anyone in rl.

When I had ds I started breast feeding but gave in after a week for various reasons, sore nipples, lack of privacy at the time, lack of support, I could go on. I do kind of regret it and wish that I'd persisted, although ds has turned out just fine. But I will try again with the view that if it doesn't work out then that's ok too.

Quite a few people I know who've had babies recently have not ever intended to breast feed and ff from day 1, and even though I probably shouldn't, I did wonder why they didn't want to try even if only for the first feed.

OP posts:
MegMogandOwlToo · 15/09/2014 13:24

YABU. You really can't think of any reason that someone would prefer to ff?

IpsyUpsyDaisyDo · 15/09/2014 13:26

YABU, it's none of your business

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/09/2014 13:28

For me it be as because Dd1 was extremely painful to fees and it just didn't work so with DD2 I decided I wasn't going to even bother. Because of the palm, because of the fact that if my full term, strong, healthy 7 pounder couldn't do it then what chance did me three week early, floppy, 5 and a half pounder with minimal suck reflex have. But most of all because after a horrendous pregnancy with many hospital admissions and bad anaemia which sucked up far to much of my time with Dd1 I wasn't going have to ignore her even longer because of being glued to sofa feeding. That and the fact I. Just didn't want to.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/09/2014 13:28

Palm?? Pain

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2014 13:28

We had this thread last week

If you do a search, you'll see there were tons of reasons given.

Serenitysutton · 15/09/2014 13:29

Best friend= she knew she'd never feed in public so decided to go straight to bottle
Mum= is grossed out by it

I will be BF my baby, I hope they will be supportive Smile

TracyBarlow · 15/09/2014 13:29

Because they don't want to try is as good a reason as any.

I'm very pro-Breastfeeding and have fed both my children until they started pre-school but I totally understand people feeling that they just don't want to and I think that's fine. It's just one parenting decision we make out of millions.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 15/09/2014 13:30

It's none of my business, which is why of course I would never ask anyone in rl why they're not breast feeding. But we all secretly wonder a bit about other people, if only in the split second that it's mentioned.

OP posts:
badfurday · 15/09/2014 13:30

This has been done to death, but, my reasons are;
The thought of it made me feel physically sick, a little baby sucking on my boob may well be the most natural thing in the world, but I just wasn't feeling it. Surprisingly, a lot of women I spoke to felt the same.

I wanted my husband/others to help with feeding

I didn't want to get my bap out everytime she needed food.

Felt my body has been through enough with pregnancy and birth, yes I am a mother but I don't want to be a feeding cow too.

Pretty much sums up how I feel. Sat beside my beautiful ff 5 month old and have no regrets. GrinWink

ErmagerdANerknerm · 15/09/2014 13:30

Does it matter, honestly? As long as they are fed and looked after, I really couldn't give a toss how another mother chooses to feed her child. It's such a small part of their life, they will thrive regardless.

RachelWatts · 15/09/2014 13:32

I BFd both my DCs until 16 months and loved it, but it changed the way I thought of my body and my breasts. I didn't want my DH touching my breasts sexually as it felt wrong. Really, really wrong and icky.

My breasts were for my baby - not sexy at all.

I can quite understand how someone could feel that using her breasts to feed a baby would feel equally wrong and nasty, if they thought of their breasts as a sexual organ.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2014 13:32

Link to last thread

LiverpoolLou · 15/09/2014 13:32

I was like this with DD. Just didn't want to. I can't telly you why because I don't know why myself. When DS came along I was willing to give BF a go.

wigglesrock · 15/09/2014 13:32

I didn't want to with my first, I really couldn't see the point of doing just one feed. Formula feeding worked out so well with my first that I just did the same again with my subsequent children.

You should be able to find loads on MN re this, there's a thread every week or so. There's also a breast feeding/bottle feeding topic if you think it might be helpful.

Imafixerupper · 15/09/2014 13:33

I actually only know one person who didn't want to try breastfeeding at all and it was simply because she hated the thought of breastfeeding and just didn't want to do it.

I am a fully paid up member of the 'crap at breastfeeding' club - gave up very quickly both times and think that formula is the best thing ever! But I have found myself wondering why she didn't even want to try. But then its her baby, her business, and ultimately, I don't really care.

However, you will get told YABU over and over, and this thread will probably not go well.

Heels99 · 15/09/2014 13:33

Because they are returning to work very quickly eg after six weeks
Because they want their partner to help with feeding
Because they have done it before and found it wasn't for them
Because they don't want a baby sucking on their boobs all day
Because they find medical evidence that it is better for baby in developed nations dubious

Etc etc.

SaucyJack · 15/09/2014 13:34

Because we live in a society sheet a significant and vocal proportion of it tells mothers that breast-feeding is something dirty and disgusting that should be done at home (if at all)

Tinkerball · 15/09/2014 13:34

Because I didn't want to, sime as that.

Tinkerball · 15/09/2014 13:34

Simple

WhatsGoingOnEh · 15/09/2014 13:34

My mum had me in the 70s and stuck out her arm IN THE DELIVERY SUITE for the injection they offered to make her milk go away! She didn't breast feed me or my brother for a single second.

40 years on, her boobs still look incredible. Far perkier than mine, and I only breastfed my kids for a few weeks each. (I'm living here at the moment, and I've seen her without a bra on. Not naked! Just in the morning under a t shirt. God I wish I hadn't started this, now I sound like a crazed mum-boob-lesbian-lecher. TAXI!)

Hoppinggreen · 15/09/2014 13:35

Because I found the very thought of it totally horrific and if I had had to do it I would have been totally miserable and not enjoyed my baby in the slightest.
Just wasn't ever an option as far as I was concerned.

ItsFunnierInEnochian · 15/09/2014 13:36

My SIL bottle fed as she couldn't breast feed due to epilepsy medication. Her neurologist told her point blank no. Did that stop the midwives on the ward harassing her about it? Nope. Did they tell her she should breastfeed? Yep. Did they upset her? Big time. She explained several times her Consultant had said no but they weren't listening. Fortunately shes strong willed and eventually told them to sod off.

marialuisa · 15/09/2014 13:36

Because I had a degree to finish and couldn't be tied to a sofa for hours at a time.

No regrets at all and would not breast feed if i had another.

Only1scoop · 15/09/2014 13:36

Doesn't feel natural to me didn't want to try at all.

But then giving birth naturally isn't something that would feel natural to me.

Surgical intervention all the way please.

I know I'm very rare Wink

picnicbasketcase · 15/09/2014 13:36

Didn't want to. Read the thread linked above, it was really long so you should find lots of answers.