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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why some women don't attempt breast feeding?

111 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 15/09/2014 13:22

Honestly, this isn't intentionally as goady as it might sound. I just want to say that I bottle fed ds, and think that it's entirely up to the individual mother and family as to what works for them.

I'm genuinely just interested but would never ask anyone in rl.

When I had ds I started breast feeding but gave in after a week for various reasons, sore nipples, lack of privacy at the time, lack of support, I could go on. I do kind of regret it and wish that I'd persisted, although ds has turned out just fine. But I will try again with the view that if it doesn't work out then that's ok too.

Quite a few people I know who've had babies recently have not ever intended to breast feed and ff from day 1, and even though I probably shouldn't, I did wonder why they didn't want to try even if only for the first feed.

OP posts:
noclevername · 15/09/2014 13:37

Because they are taking a prescribed drug that passes into the breastmilk and would harm the baby.

MrsWinnibago · 15/09/2014 13:38

I didn't because I have extremely sensitive breasts. I can't stand them being touched even inadvertently. They're not part of sex for me...they just can't take any contact. They're quite small so I do wonder if this is to do with the sensitivity.

The thought of a baby sucking them makes my hair stand on end. That's why.

curiousgeorgie · 15/09/2014 13:39

I'm not physically able to do it.

My best friend just doesn't want to. Finds the idea a bit repulsive.

It doesn't really matter what other people choose, as long as you're happy with your own decision.

Sixgeese · 15/09/2014 13:39

I have to take long term medication with the option of 2 different drugs, one you can breast feed on, on you can't but they have different side effects.

With DS, I tried the type that you could breast feed on, but as DS was early I told he had to drink a certain amount at regular intervals and was always to offer the bottle. Then I had the side effect of a PPH.

When I had DD1 and 2, I opted for the medication which was less likely to have a PPH, but it wasn't advised to breastfeed due to the high dose (it didn't stop Maternity telling me to try)

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 15/09/2014 13:42

I didn't see it so apologies if it'a been discussed recently.

I'm not saying that there's a right or wrong or that anyone is wrong in their choices. And of course I can think of reasons why women don't want to breast feed, as I ff myself. I'm really just talking about initially.

This came up in rl the other day, a lady at work is in late pregnancy and was asking myself and another colleague whether she would need to bring her own formula and bottles to the hospital when she gives birth. It's her first baby. The other colleague said something about that they'll encourage her to breast feed and the first feed being the most important and the pregnant colleague shuddered and shook her head and said oh no at which point I walked away as I felt that it was getting a bit personal. But even though I didn't say anything I did wonder why she seemed rather against bf.

But yeah, I can totally see why you wouldn't if you've had a bad time of it.

And I know that even if you just don't want to, it's up to you. I'm just genuinely wondering.

OP posts:
Heels99 · 15/09/2014 13:42

Only1scoop, I feel the same. People have had a headache they take an aspirin, but having a baby oh no they must do it with no pain relief for some kind of non existent bravery award...as my sensible midwife said, nobody gives you a medal so have what you need!

MrsWinnibago · 15/09/2014 13:44

Pyjama her feelings are not "Personal" only to her anyway......I haven't "had a bad time of it" but as I said, I could not bear the thought of it. that's all.

MsAnthropic · 15/09/2014 13:46

I'm sure if you tried hard enough you could sit down with a pen and paper and come up with at least 10 reasons why a woman might not want to or might not be able to.

Pugaboo · 15/09/2014 13:47

Yes there was an epic thread on it recently.

I know very very few people who didn't try at all, but of those who did try about 40% didn't get past a few hours/days.

The ones that didn't try? On medication or just hated the idea.

I don't know anyone who liked the idea but was persuaded against it personally but I think that's probably fairly common too.

Did you know if you were breastfed you are likely to produce more milk yourself? So there are probably social and genetic factors involving family playing quite a big part.

itsbetterthanabox · 15/09/2014 13:47

I don't get why someone wouldn't give it just one go. Just out of curiosity! I couldn't not know what it feels like Grin

Only1scoop · 15/09/2014 13:47

Heels maybe I'm not so truly unique after all Wink

Imagine an AIBU to ask why you would start bf and just give up after a week or so?? Id get flamed though....

VSeth · 15/09/2014 13:48

There have been soooooo many threads about this, Worraliberty has kindly provided link to a recent one too......

I used Formula soley based on all the advertising I saw making it look very cool and with Aptimul they actually give you a free cute Polar Bear. How cool is that?

PlumpPartridge · 15/09/2014 13:49

You're right, it does sound goady.

And posting it in AIBU was a really unfortunate mistake if you truly didn't want a bunfight!!

LookingThroughTheFog · 15/09/2014 13:50

I used Formula solely based on all the advertising I saw making it look very cool and with Aptimul they actually give you a free cute Polar Bear.

Grin
confusedandemployed · 15/09/2014 13:51

AIBU to wonder why the hell anyone should be interested in how anyone else feeds their baby?

I BF for 4 weeks then went on to formula. No interest in explaining my reasons.

fellowes · 15/09/2014 13:52

yabu, i didnt try , i wanted my body back asap .

OrangeTart · 15/09/2014 13:56

I BF both of mine, I do wonder why people don't try to be honest.
The only things I could come up with were on medication that can be transferred through breast milk, not producing any/enough milk, an issue with baby that means it can't/isn't strong enough to suckle.
I struggle to understand the 'I just don't like the idea of it' type excuses. It just seems a case of more money than sense sometimes. In any case breastfeeding is the lazy option FF is just making more work for yourself but each to their own.

JockTamsonsBairns · 15/09/2014 13:57

Seriously, you didn't know this had been done recently? And you really, honestly, couldn't come up with any single reason why a mother may prefer not to breastfeed?

Starting a thread like this in AIBU is goady in the extreme, and can stir up all sorts of emotional stuff for people who, for a whole variety of different reasons, couldn't or wouldn't consider bfing.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 15/09/2014 13:57

The colleague who was not pregnant is known for overstepping the mark, so I could have just seen it erupting. She's been pushy with pregnant lady a few times, trying to give her things that she didn't want, telling her not to do certain things (baby in own room), which pregnant woman has said. Whereas in work I tend to just nod Along even if I do t agree. Hence why I walked away.

Seeing the replies I can see I'm being super unimaginative.

OP posts:
usualnamechanger · 15/09/2014 13:58

Vseth I've got the aptamil bear too! But I'm far stingier than you, it was a gift from a ff friend. I ebf so I didn't spend a penny ( stingy smile)

TheImprobableGirl · 15/09/2014 13:59

I couldn't try. Both dd's were spirited away to neonatal intensive care to avoid death, whilst I almost died too :)

Funnily enough I don't think dh was thinking 'gosh I wish she would just give breast feeding a go!'

MrsSpencerReid · 15/09/2014 13:59

Because if you never try you can't then try and fail and be that mum that couldn't work out how to get it going and had to swap to bottles and feel like a failure.

HavanaSlife · 15/09/2014 13:59

Yabu because its easy to think of reasons someonw might not bf.

Also because these type of threads always turn into bun fights. Anyone minute now someone will come on and say.

A. Its disgusting and sexual

B. Those who dont try are selfish fuckers who dont put their baby first

Thurlow · 15/09/2014 14:00

Only1scoop, I felt exactly the same way Grin

OneSkinnyChip · 15/09/2014 14:01

YANBU to wonder about it. There's so much pressure 'encouragement' to breastfeed that I am always a bit surprised that people don't try at all but you've had some good answers on here.

I can completely understand why people just try it for a week or two, then quit. I was tempted myself. Very glad I stuck with it but there were a few times when I almost jacked it in. Unfortunately you only get the real pay off after a couple of months when your boobs settle down and then it's easy. Until then it can have tough moments and for some people it's a constant misery.