To not understand why some parents give their child a horrible or embarrassing surname?

[carbarella]

Just because it happens to be the dad's surname? Why don't they just use the mum's surname instead?

Someone that I know is currently pregnant. Her DP has an awful surname, and she is worrying herself silly about her child getting teased at school, they are constantly trying to think of first names that go with the surname and don't sound awful with it. She has a nice surname; I don't understand why they don't just give that to the baby instead.

There is a girl in DD's class at school with a really horrible surname, that sounds like a word you would use as a huge insult to someone. She gets the mickey taken out of her because of it, and hates it. I don't understand why in that case the parents didn't just use the mum's surname for their children?

Why is the mentality always that the baby has to have the father's surname?

YANBU on children automatically taking the father's surname. I don't get it either.

YABU to judge people on their surname.

FWIW BOTH my parents have ridiculous surnames (both featuring popular synonyms for private parts) and I turned out fine.

I don't judge people on their surname, however I do think it's unfair to saddle a child with a surname that is basically setting them up for a school life of piss taking. No one wants to give their child a first name that everyone will laugh at, so why do they do it with a surname??

I thought this recently, reading a journalist's column. She kept her name on marriage for 'feminist' reasons but was fretting because that would mean she had to have a different surname to her child and it made her sad. Also his surname was really odd and couldn't be put well with many first names so she was worrying what to call the child she was expecting. It seemed bizarre to me that she hadn't even considered that the baby didn't have to have it's father's name, it isn't the law.

its a family name, and its up to the person with the name to keep it or not really.

Family name or not, had my DH had a really awful surname I would have given the DCs mine! Why would someone want to subject their child to a lifetime of having the surname 'Mycock' or 'Dick' or 'Fish' ?

What might be an embarrassing and awful name to you, could be an interesting and unusual family heritage to its owner.

It really depends if the surname is something mild and common like Gaye, Koch or Rowbotham or more along lines of Twatface.

Hmmm, well the surname that DD's schoolfriend has is along the lines of Twatface. The kind of name that children and adults snigger at when they find out what it is! The child is very embarrassed about it and hates it. I don't think the mum is overkeen on it either, yet she took it on and gave it to her kids

I agree, my mother married someone with last name treblecock, his kids wanted to change to her surname. Thankfully it didn't affect us at all.

"its a family name, and its up to the person with the name to keep it or not really."

Well, of course it's their decision but that doesn't mean it's a good decision. Some surnames deserve to die out, sorry.

Oh come on! Do tell!

It's Barsterd

Oh I'd love to be a Mrs. Barsterd

I went to school with a kid who had surname "Pratt". and she really got bullied for it. I always felt so bad for her!

have to say though as an adult I'd love to have the last name Barsterd! rough on a child though.

I was at school with a "Pratt" too, although he was a bully so everyone was too scared of him to mock his surname...

I'd love to be called shiny basterd ... What a great name !!
No so nice for a child though

That is a pretty cool surname it's like Alan B'stard!
But I agree op. Although a lot of women say their partner has a 'better' surname than theirs as a reason/excuse to change their surname. Women who I know have feminist leanings pretend it's a nicer surname even when it's just a name..
I think name changing shouldn't happen. The name itself isn't the issue and isn't relevant it's about identity. So keep your name whether it be a 'bad' one or not and double barrel kids again whatever the names are like.

Princess consuela bananahammock

FWIW BOTH my parents have ridiculous surnames (both featuring popular synonyms for private parts)

????

Itsbetter that only works for one generation though! What happens when your daughter Alice Labia-Snorkington marries Archibald Clematis-Patel and they have kids?

Bullies bully because they are bullies.

If it wasn't a name it would be something else.

When I was in school I was bullied. The reason is because I had an eye problem which required an eye patch and glasses oh I also had a stammer. Thank god i never needed braces.

I think it a ridiculous not to give a child a family name to prevent bullying.

Fuck, I'd love to be a Barsterd. It gives you carte blanche to swear at teachers

I always wanted to be a De'ath.

Think it goes well with my first name too.

Don't judge too quickly.

I would have loved that surname.