To not understand why some parents give their child a horrible or embarrassing surname?

[carbarella]

Just because it happens to be the dad's surname? Why don't they just use the mum's surname instead?

Someone that I know is currently pregnant. Her DP has an awful surname, and she is worrying herself silly about her child getting teased at school, they are constantly trying to think of first names that go with the surname and don't sound awful with it. She has a nice surname; I don't understand why they don't just give that to the baby instead.

There is a girl in DD's class at school with a really horrible surname, that sounds like a word you would use as a huge insult to someone. She gets the mickey taken out of her because of it, and hates it. I don't understand why in that case the parents didn't just use the mum's surname for their children?

Why is the mentality always that the baby has to have the father's surname?

I would go with the un-embarrassing surname out of the couple, if I had a choice. I think life is tough enough without being saddled with a surname like Balls, Smellie, Walley, Hicock, Bottomley etc. Kids will always find something to pick on but I wouldn't choose to make it easier. It is a shame because names are part of our own history, but some are just tricky or unpleasant to have to deal with imo.

Personally I wouldn't name change on marriage to something and I wouldn't give my DC's their Father's last name if it was something I regarded as undesirable.

However I have a Solicitor friend with the last name of Shufflebottom whose name does not bother her at all. She practices Criminal Law and happily keeps her name in Court and intends to keep it on marriage as that is what she is already known as professionally, so I think it really boils down to personal preference.

I see what you're saying, OP. I took on DH's surname when we got married because I like it. Had it been something like Snotbum or Cockburn I'd have kept my surname and suggested we use mine as the family name. If he liked being a Snotbum and wanted to keep that, then fine, but I'd strongly argue for any future children to have my surname. Sure, kids will bully for any reason, but might as well remove one obvious target.

The OW in my first marriage had the surname Adcock! She certainly 'ad :)

I've never associated 'bottom' surnames with arses before.

They're fairly common in the north and generally associated with place names and geographical features.

It's not just names of the cock/Pratt type, what about those that are like famous people, historical characters or difficult to spell or pronounce - they can also cause embarrassment or difficulties.

In any case, wouldn't it be better to crack down on the bullies rather than victim blaming?

I'm with mandatory on D'eath.
Our kids have my surname. None of that double-barrelled rubbish for us. Mine was just nicer. Sometimes I get asked the most insulting questions about they don't have DH's surname . People are stupid.

I hated my surname growing up. I always swore that the very day I was old enough, I'd get married to change it. I never did and now I'm with a guy who doesn't want to her married. He has a lovely surname too so I'm a bit

Nowadays I'm proud of my surname. Only people related to me have it and had my uncle not had a son it could have died out. I gave DD double barrelled for this reason but also I hate the assumption that the child gets the surname of the man.

I once went out with a guy whose last name was going. I thought it just didn't make sense as a surname. I didn't want to marry him.

Or we could just teach children not to bully...

Why should a child not have a last name because other children are little shits? That's just stupid logic.

A bully will find something to pick on. If it's not a last name, it will be something else.

Nothing like victim blaming the child or parents because they chose to give the child the family name.

My best friend has an 'interesting' surname. She says she's just raising her children to be very confident individuals who will rise above any teasing. You don't have to cry in a corner just cause someone is rude about your name. Children tease about all sorts of things.

I think names like 'Pratt' or 'shufflebottom' are pretty mild tbh. If that had been dh's name I still would have taken it and given it to the dc.

However, I have at work dealt with a Mrs Cock-Breath (yes, hyphenated too) and a Mrs Sithole. I can't imagine I would have taken either of those names tbh.

My dh has a gynaecological surname. Our dds have my name but, tbh, the nature of dh's surname was a very small part of the decision.

I'd love to be a Basterd or a De'ath though!

gynaecological

Mr Cervix? Mr Vag?

Ovary?

There was a bloke in my class at school called Willie Dick. You always wondered wtf his parents were thinking.

Op, have you suggested it to her as an alternative? She may not have thought about it. I didn't (hadn't discovered MN then)

Best one I ever read was a boy called Drew Peacock. The parents didn't even realise for a few years!

I once met a man whose surname was Crapper. He - understandably- had changed it to something else quite legally by deed poll. However for some reason he had not changed his children's names and they were still lumbered with it, poor kids.

Agree that I would love to be Mrs Barsterd. You could grow into that name!

Mrs Cock- Breath? ?
That has to be the most embarrassing name on this thread. I would not be able to tell anyone what my name was.

Perhaps she calls herself Mrs Breath when asked?

Only read your first post OP because quite frankly I think your a rude judgement all idiot. My husband doesn't have the nicest surname but I love him and took his last name, which also means our children have that last name. Who are you to judge me on myself and my children having my husband lastname? It doesn't concern you in the slightest! I would rather my kids have a sucky surname but a genuine heart. Then a 'accepted' surname and be a judgmental twot!

There are some names that would cause embarrassment even if you managed to go through your entire life only ever encountering people whose parents had taught them not to be a bully though. They are embarrassing regardless. Eg. I heard of a man named Mr Shaw - Twilley

I think I'd be pronouncing Cock-Breath as Co-Brith a la Bucket/Bouquet.

I knew a family called Higginbottom who moved down south and were teased so much that they changed their surname to something much blander.

Let's face it most of us snigger childishly at a rude surname and it must be rotten to be saddled with one.

My2, but the woman in question has not taken her DH's surname, so it's different.

I had a lovely little last name. Married a man with a "northern bottom" type surname as mentioned previously.

STBXH left me and DC's with massive debt AND a stupid surname, I'd like to change all our names to my old surname, but do I need his permission?

A friend of a friend married a man called Cockhead, she took the name and have it to her sons. She now has a 14yo called (normal first name) Cockhead. I'm not so sure that goes well down in the local comp.

Why oh why would you a, take that name and b, give your children it. I just can't see why you would do that to them.

Rock - yes you do

This is one of the only things Ed Balls got right, I think. His children are called Cooper rather than Balls.