To not understand why some parents give their child a horrible or embarrassing surname?

[carbarella]

Just because it happens to be the dad's surname? Why don't they just use the mum's surname instead?

Someone that I know is currently pregnant. Her DP has an awful surname, and she is worrying herself silly about her child getting teased at school, they are constantly trying to think of first names that go with the surname and don't sound awful with it. She has a nice surname; I don't understand why they don't just give that to the baby instead.

There is a girl in DD's class at school with a really horrible surname, that sounds like a word you would use as a huge insult to someone. She gets the mickey taken out of her because of it, and hates it. I don't understand why in that case the parents didn't just use the mum's surname for their children?

Why is the mentality always that the baby has to have the father's surname?

This is forename rather than surname but used to work with 3 people called Richard. They were distinguishable by height so were commonly referred to as Big Dick, Little Dick and Middle Dick. Made tannoy announcements across the store more interesting too "Big Dick to tills", "Little Dick to the warehouse"

My mother was good friends with a girl with the surname 'Smellie' all through school. She swore she'd get married ASAP to change it. She did, aged 18, to a man called 'Sewer'

I note with glee that there's a Brian Wankum in the film crew credits for Firefly.
And Star Trek fans might recognise my nickname!

One of the surrealist moments ever was watching a pubful of football fans chanting "Seaman, seaman, seaman!" :o

My friend was thrilled to marry into the surname Gaye. She even dropped the 'E'. Her son is in high school and his name is seen as being trendy.

I have name changed for this.I am a Mrs Pratt and I took DH name because I love him and wanted to share his surname.I went to school with DH and although people obviously noticed his surname he was never bullied, he has a strong character and would make light of any jokes. I am a primary school teacher and my name has never been am issue parents probably have a giggle when they first hear it but it doesn't even register with the children. DS is now a Pratt too and we will teach him to be proud of his name too. Really if people can't see past a name they are not worth bothering with.

YANBU. I don't understand why women with perfectly nice and unteasable surnames change their name on marriage to ones which have all the downsides you're describing. And then inflict that surname on their children. I know 3 women who have all done this.

montymum Pratt is a bit different I think because kids don't really use prat as an insult any more (afaik). So the only people raising an eyebrow would be over 30 and they tend to be mature enough not to say anything. If your surname was Littlecock would you think the same?

Yes I would feel the same, a name doesn't make a person. I agree Prat as an insult is not in common use now so not so much of an issue however I would have taken DH name regardless of what it was.

Montymim, did your DH consider taking your surname because he loves you and wanted to share your surname?

We discussed it and decided on his. It was my choice not his. I like the tradition of taking your husband's name. I know it's not for everyone.

I know a families by the name of Trott, Wanklyn, Piles, Crutch. And the best, whilst perusing the phone directory a few years ago an entry for an F.A.G Byrne.

The best example I have of this is on Buffy up to season 5 in the credits there is a Thomas Wanker. After season 5 it appears he has changed his name to Thomas fighter.

whilst perusing the phone directory a few years ago

Like you do...

I saw a Somebody Broadbottom recently in the paper.

I too am endlessly baffled by the "I love my DH/am proud to be his wife so of course I took his name" brigade. Does it never occur to any of you that that implies your DH doesn't love you/isn't proud of you if he doesn't at least seriously consider taking your name? Why does it only go one way?

I've done the opposite. DH has a bland neutral surname, I kept my sniggerworthy, part-synonym-for-genitalia, unusual surname.

People always think it's my married name and are surprised when I say it's my maiden name - what does that say about society? That keeping your husband's surname is so important that it overrides concerns about embarrassment or teasing?

Have name changed for this so i don't out myself.
My surname was Dick. I married my DH and took his name which is lovely and normal/bland. If his name was Dick and I had a better one pre-marriage, not sure if I would have taken it!

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a relief to have a 'normal' non-comedy name now, but I would never have changed it by deed poll because that would have been hurtful for my parents.

So I guess you could say that my mum took my dad's name and 'saddled' us with it.

However, I wasn't 'bullied' because of it. Teased, certainly. But I wouldn't change it because I think it made me a strong person! I became quite good at making people laugh so I always had a quick retort back when people teased me at school. You certainly need to be able to stand up for yourself when everytime you join a new class at school, job etc you have to put up with the sniggers!

I went to school with a boy called Harden. He got teased a lot, tbh it wouldn't have occured to me.

I knew a family called Smellie. My dad once asked the man if he'd ever thought of changing it. He said he'd thought about it, then decided that if it was good enough for his dad it was good enough for him.

But I still felt sorry for his little DD.

When a male colleague at work got married he took his wife's surname.

He hated his surname and was bullied at school and said no way was he going to pass that on to his kids out of a stupid sense of male pride in carrying on the family name.

Can't really understand why more people don't do that tbh.

DP has the world's worst surname, it gets commented on every single day. He gets laughed at at every passport control, anytime he has to give his name it gets a reaction. He's well known in his field and receives a LOT of abuse about his surname on Twitter. He copes very well, there's nothing he hasn't heard before! He didn't get laughed at beyond normal banter at school but no one can actually believe this.

I have a normal surname and have said I'd rather not take his when we marry. As for kids, he'd be fine if we gave them my surname but I think his parents would be upset as it would mean the name dies out. So we'll see...

Chipshop what's the name!!?

I was at school with a "Pratt" too, although he was a bully so everyone was too scared of him to mock his surname...

This is the point, though.

No one is bullied because of their name. The bullies choose a vulnerable person and find something to bully them about. It could be their name, the shape of their nose, or the colour of their coat.

Chipshop, there used to be several gropecunt lanes. It's ok if some things die out!!

We had a colleague whose name was a euphemism for penis. She never got pisstaken. (But I worried about her ds)
We have a lovely kid with the most jaw dropping double barrelled surname.(in a juvenile sniggery way) We cannot understand why.

How about the surname Trumper? That's the worst I've come across. The only Cockburn I've ever met called herself Coburn.