To not understand why some parents give their child a horrible or embarrassing surname?

[carbarella]

Just because it happens to be the dad's surname? Why don't they just use the mum's surname instead?

Someone that I know is currently pregnant. Her DP has an awful surname, and she is worrying herself silly about her child getting teased at school, they are constantly trying to think of first names that go with the surname and don't sound awful with it. She has a nice surname; I don't understand why they don't just give that to the baby instead.

There is a girl in DD's class at school with a really horrible surname, that sounds like a word you would use as a huge insult to someone. She gets the mickey taken out of her because of it, and hates it. I don't understand why in that case the parents didn't just use the mum's surname for their children?

Why is the mentality always that the baby has to have the father's surname?

I honestly think most people just get over it minutes after meeting someone, so it doesn't have any lasting effect at all. I think if you don't you expose yourself as being quite petty and mean.

I know a Hiscock and a Dick, and both names felt normalised very quickly - it's just those people's names.

I know some kids who have the name Crapper, pretty grim but they are not teased as the novelty has worn off, I suppose you get used to it eventually, they are all teens now.

Quite possibly they've stopped thinking about it. I used to work with someone whose surname was Cock. I had an immature little snigger to myself on the first day but very soon I'd stopped 'hearing' it as a rude word and just accepted it as the name of someone I knew (and respected).

"In any case, wouldn't it be better to crack down on the bullies rather than victim blaming?"

Look, even if a child named Treblecock was never bullied EVER, it is a horrid, ugly, embarrassing sounding name and nobody would want to be called it. I would not saddle my kid with an embarrassing surname, sorry.

life is tough enough without being saddled with a surname like Balls, Smellie, Walley, Hicock, Bottomley

Was I at school with you?? We had four of those five, plus Rawbottom, Shufflebottom, Allcock and Oddie.

Also need to consider initials as I was VD b4 i got married and that was my nickname throughout school.

Barsterd is awesome

Someone I hate know used Mrs Her-Maiden-Name as her DH's surname was Crapper. Eventually he, his brother & both wives changed by deed poll to another more reasonable surname that began with C

Most of these names go way back into history and are part of a family's heritage. No wonder children are sniggering at names if their grown up parents think like some of you on here. A lot of these names are held by famous people. Does everyone laugh when they watch a film directed by Alfred Hitchcock? Is everyone killing themselves with laughter every time they go to the loo because Thomas Crapper was one of the pioneers of flush toilets? As for thinking Dixon is an awful name - what about Alesha Dixon? Are there lots of sniggers when she is on TV?

I honestly think most people just get over it minutes after meeting someone, so it doesn't have any lasting effect at all.

Well, it certainly had a lasting effect on me.

I worked with a guy with the surname Willey and when he and wife had their pfb, he was the first to say the kid would NOT be having his surname.

You can talk all you like about not bullying, but why make life harder. I'm on an anonymous Internet forum here so I can admit that I have had a little snigger at some of these names (Cockhead) - I couldn't help it. I would try very hard not to do it in RL, but my subconscious would be tittering. I'm human.

Vickibee, my brothers were all taught by a certain F.A.R. Thompson. I wonder if his misguided parents put the extra middle name in to avoid giving him the initials FAT?

I know of someone who was born Miss Cox and became Mrs Willey.

My first boyfriends surname was Squelch.

If we'd married I would have kept my maiden name I think.

I did ask my mum what she thought she was doing taking my fathers name when they married. She said she was young, it was the 80's and her pil's were quite vocal about it and shouted her down.

But my name evolved over the years, I was never known exactly by that name, before being changed by deed poll when I was 16 (dad gave permission and followed suit himself) to the less embarrassing spelling. First an s was added and then it was changed to the "like the apples" spelling.

Thank God.

I've name changed for this so I don't out myself.

badsurname you have the same surname as me. It's dh's name and I took it willingly and without considering it an embarrassing name. Our two dc's have it.
I think my dd had a boy at school laugh once because it has the word cock in it. She just told him that he's an immature moron and he hasn't said it again. You shouldn't have to change the spelling of your children's name in an effort to prevent unimaginative half-wits from teasing them.

Also, I think you have to be a certain kind of moron to find the names Cockburn, Drinkwater or Higginbottom hilarious or embarrassing.
There are a few surnames that are quite unfortunate and that I'd find embarrassing, but some mentioned on this thread are pretty ordinary.

One of my two best friends in school had the surname d'eath. We were not bullies but we still teased her, but we also teased each other, just the way we were. Me and her found teasing each other funny. But one day we wrote down the name (normal name) Death. She saw the note and burst out crying. We hadn't realised we were upsetting her. We didn't do it again. For that reason I wouldn't lump a child with a stupid surname.

I agree with you, OP, both on bad names and on mothers passing on their names. I don't have a problem with awful names dying out, but then I think people put too much emphasis on carrying names on etc. My FIL stopped speaking to DH and I for months because I refused to change my name when we got married, yet the name is along the lines of (name)son - hardly dying out any time soon! DH and I planned to have all sons with his name and daughters with mine but we had all boys, sadly for me! I wish more mothers passed on their names in general.

All this talk of bad names reminds me of when Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox got married and decided to double barrel... (they went for Cox-Mohr in the end but at the alternative)

Imsuchamess your logic makes no sense. You teased a poor girl until she cried, so it's likely to have been about you, not the surname.

Substitute surname with braces or glasses and you'll see how mean it is

Ie "once at school I teased my friend about her glasses, it made her cry, and because of that I'd never give my children glasses"

my hubby would have had a fit if i suggested the boys take my name .its a male pride thing .personally i think children should have there fathers name .but each to there own i suppose .

Ah ha ha ha, April.

Any future DCs will be having my surname that I didn't change when I got married. DH is welcome to change his to match, and has been dithering since we got engaged. There are only 6 people in the world with mine and hundreds of thousands with my DHs, plus mines nicer

It is still more common than not to all share a name and is still assumed
Yes, obviously. But that wasn't the point. The point is that women are no longer their husbands' possession and the whole family doesn't have to have the same name. Various blended family models are increasingly common, as is women not changing their name on marriage. I don't believe this is an "only on mumsnet" phenomenon, I have many friends irl in families without a shared surname.

Oooh Peachy that's quite amazing. I'd love to know what your surname is but suppose it would make you very identifiable if you shared it!