To not be sure if a 17 year old boy can be in the right headspace to train as a midwife?

[Boysclothes]

I know a few male midwives, all older guys who are nurse converted and are all great. No problem with it at all.

However a friends son wants to be in a caring profession and she has asked me to have a chat with him about becoming a midwife, direct entry so training from next September. She knows a bit about it and thinks the autonomy/quicker progression/pay etc makes it more desirable than being a nurse.

So, I'm just musing here as I know the admissions tutors will make the decision they see fit, but I'm not sure if a just turned 18 year old lad could cope with or make sense of midwifery. It's just so very female isn't it? And if he hasn't got much experience of women, it just seems a bit... I dunno.... Inappropriate, possibly?

I'm going to tell him about the realities of the job but what are your thoughts?

I really don't understand the problem tbh. I actually think he sounds rather mature as he has thought out his options. Obviously we often feel more secure with an experienced midwife, but I wouid not have fought that females were preferable. And we are not talking about shared experience, my community midwife had never had kids, she was so great I was sorry she had retired by my 3rd.

I was looked after by a male midwife after my 3rd in the post delivery ward and he was absolutely lovely and all the other ladies seemed to adore him (even though he kept asking to check for jugs of bloody urine). I was not in the least bit uncomfortable, and I would say that you are physically most fragile immediately post-natally.

I had a very young male medic, say 21 as he was starting rotations in hospital, stay with us the entire duration of our first labour. He was just observing, no hands on, but he was also no problem at all. Actually, it was great for DH to have company (it was a looooooong labour). I did not feel embarrassed or self conscious even though I was starkers for most of the labour.

My DD was also looked after by a young man at nursery. I dare say he was more with it than his young somewhat vapid colleagues.

I think you are making a lot of judgements here. If he wants to pursue this he will. I have met a lots of male nursing students (I am a metal nurse student myself) and they are all very caring and professional.

My mum had a male student midwife for my sister and she said he was fantastic. V.caring and gentle (apparently he cried when my sister was born bless him, it was his first)

If we are going to discriminate based on gender and age then girls shouldn't be allowed to train as mechanics, pilots, engineers etc... in fact lets go the whole hog and go back to the old system of men as drs and women as nurses. :/

If you don't want a male midwife when you give birth then thats fine but don't squash a young mans ambitions because it doesn't fit in the correct gender box. Its not more right to do that to a boy as it is to a girl.

oops! I meant mental health nursing student!

I'd actually be happier if people began training in healthcare at 21.

For that matter, I think legal adulthood should be 21, too. Maybe I'm getting old, but 18 year olds are still children.

But, it is as it is, so equality must prevail; if an 18-year-old female can start training, so can an 18-year-old male.

Your friend is crazy for allowing that to happen sanfairyann. Her career would have been over before it began if anything had gone wrong.

My mum has a similar viewpoint to Branleuse - she thinks only women who have given birth should be midwives. I was at that, but I do remember the very earnest suggestions from some young (yes, I know being sexist, ageist and non-parentist) midwives that were either impractical, ineffective or just plain fanciful and thinking maybe my mum had a point!

My SIL is a MW. when she had her first baby she had a very difficult birth and said the experience totally reshaped the way she dealt with women in labour, made her evaluate all her views and how she dealt with things. She has had 3, very different births and i have no doubt that these experiences have fundamentally altered her as a HCP and the way she relates to her patients

My fanny is not politically correct.

I cannot believe your friend delivered babies on her own Fairy.

Ive been a midwife for 16 years and a 1st year student would never be left alone with a delivery. Never.

I can understand why some women would prefer a female midwife. I think it stems from viewing the vagina/vulva as a sexual organ and therefore having strange (and young) man poking about in there - it would feel weird and wrong.

However, the vagina is certainly not a sexuàl organ during labour. The process of childbirth is complicated and fascinating.

To explain the point. Ive just finished a really busy shift tonight. If you asked me about, for example, the last internal examination I did. I could bore you about the position of the babies head (was OP, but rotating and now ROT. Was about -1. The cervix was really stretchy, 6cm but slightly oedematous anteriorly. Membranes were bulging).

Ask me about her bikini line and the colour of her pubic hair - I really dont have a clue, if it was the million pound question on who wants to be a millionaire - id probably get it wrong.

I have worked with male midwives who are lovely and completely competent. I have worked with many young newly qualified midwives - its an incredibly stressful time for them. Midwifery really isnt for the faint hearted. Its stressful, demanding and drains you physically and emotionally.

Your friends son could be an amazing midwife who could make great decisions through his career that would save babies and mums lives. Or he could be rubbish at it. However, either option wouldnt be determined by his sex or age but his intelligence and personality.

Also - I do not think I am a better midwife post children. I probably was better before. I was fresher,, worked full time and had more time to study new research and developmentd

Redshifter, there are some jobs where male/ female applicants may not be considered, and for good reason are exempt from the equal opportunities legislation. Off the top of my head - prison officers in a male prison are usually required to be male and openly and legally advertised as such. Likewise, key worker posts in a women's refuges are usually only open to female applicants. So there are instances when gender for a role is highly relevant and I think midwifery falls into that category.

It's all very well to say that, of course, women should be given the choice to insist on a female midwife if they are uncomfortable with a male but we all know that within a cash strapped NHS, in reality, that ain't gonna happen. You'll roll up to hospital in labour and take whatever midwife is available to you on the night.

Is that much different to wanting to be a doctor?

When I was giving birth, there was a young male student doctor there in an observational mode. The only thing on my mind was 3, 2, 1, relax. He had to learn what was needed.

Yeah god forbid a male doctor around while you deliver...

My head says yes of course he can do it and why not!

My heart says get that spotty little grot bag the hell out of this delivery room!!

Bellybutton, I was left alone as a first year student. My sixth catch was on my own. My mentor had another labourer to look after and told me to buzz when the vertex was visible! Woman delivered quicker than expected!

Logic says yes - of course - why not.

But my head says no. Childbirth isn't directly comparable to anything - not even an STD doctor (who deals with both genders).

It is an odd choice for a 17 year old guy. I would not be happy about this in labour myself and I'm in the relatively relaxed camp when it comes to such things.

When I was in labour half the medical professionals knocking around were male although the midwife was female. I couldn't have cared less at that stage to be honest. It would be his age, as 18 is young to witness the horrors of birth, rather than his gender that would put me off.

My fanny is not politically correct has to be the funniest mumsnet comment ever .

The more I read the more i think it's a class issue actually. No one minds the young posh doctors being involved but no thanks to the local lad.

If I am honest, a male midwife would take some getting used to for me at first, but because I am politically correct right to my very core, I would try my best to get over it because I would realise it is my hang-up and not one I should indulge.

I don't think you can gender stereotype male midwives with female engineers. The more 'male' dominated careers do not involve poking at women's private parts about which we are shy less outgoing.

Thereyouarepeter - No a lot of women request female Dr's. But sometimes there is no choice with Dr's. Also midwifes have a very different role to Dr's.

Findogask - Why should you get over it? Why do we see it as a hang up if as women we do not want a man we do not know to see bits of our body we usually cover up?

Excellent post by bellybuttonfairy.

I'm really surprised at some posters reactions on this thread. I would have guessed male midwives would be a problem for a few but I. Suprised so nany think it odd

When I was in agony and labour with my second trimester loss three weeks ago I didn't give a crap what genitalia the people who were helping me were packing.

I had men and women down there and the only thing I worried about was whether they were competent and understanding (they were)

I can understand some people requesting for a female midwife for good reasons, religious or past experiences.

I just get the feeling from this thread that a lot more than I imagined would not like a male midwife just because they are making assumptions about him based on his gender. Which is very wrong.

Intimate doesn't have to be because it's sexual belly. For instance, I'm also uncomfortable with a male dentist.