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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have changed my nieces bedtime

107 replies

mommy2ash · 04/09/2014 19:10

I was minding my niece who is 20 months for a week while my sister and her husband were on holidays.

they got back yesterday and are so angry with me neither one are now talking me.

my niece usually goes to bed around 11 but after two days I was exhausted and my house was a tip and my dd who is seven was kept awake and tired getting up for school.

I stopped her napping at 5pm and put her to bed at half seven like my dd so I could have a shower clean the house and just have some quiet time after a long day. I am a single parent so I haven't had a break in a week.

I feel really bad now as obviously the bedtime they had given her suited them. i have already apologised but that hasn't helped. was it a terrible thing to do and what can I do now to make it up to them?

OP posts:

reup · 04/09/2014 19:14

You had her for a week and they are angry with you? How ungrateful! If going to bed at a normal time is so horrific for themit won't take them long to switch her back!

XmasMenace · 04/09/2014 19:14

Cheeky f*ckers! You looked after their toddler for a whole week so they could have a holiday and they're cross with YOU? Fair enough if you'd done something like pierced her ears or fed a veggie child meat but this was just part of looking after her without killing yourself in the process - if they want to change the bedtime back they can. Tell them, kindly, to go and get a grip and they can pay a nanny for a week if they're not happy!

Sp1rals · 04/09/2014 19:17

Assholes! Putting a child that age to bed at 11 sounds to me like it was for their benefit, not the child's. I think this is borne out by the fact she settled so easily with a normal bedtime. Hold your head up, say nothing. Maybe tell them they know where you are when they want to apologise then leave it.

PecanNut · 04/09/2014 19:17

I think looking after a child for a week for free is incredibly generous.

Personally I think 11pm is a stupid bedtime for an 11 mo but if it works for them, fair enough.... they can't expect someone else to honour that though.

They are being ridiculous.

NellysKnickers · 04/09/2014 19:17

Cheeky sods.

FunkyBoldRibena · 04/09/2014 19:18

Crikey - well done though! They should be thanking you not giving you grief.

ilovepowerhoop · 04/09/2014 19:18

ungrateful gits. I wouldnt even try to make it up to them

pluCaChange · 04/09/2014 19:20

You could make it up to them by never babysitting again?

More seriously, they cannot expect for there to be no disruption from a week away from them. My DC are unsettled by so-called "holidays", having guests, and all sorts of things. If the routine really suits their DD, she will get back to it. If the routine you introduced suits her better, they will have to lump it. We all have to do inconvenient things for our children and, in any case, no sleep routine lasts forever; they change all the time.

rookiemater · 04/09/2014 19:21

YANBU - they sound nuts. You can look after my DS so DH and I can go on holiday and put him to bed whatever time you want !

WooWooOwl · 04/09/2014 19:22

Why do you feel bad?

Do you like being taken advantage of?

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 04/09/2014 19:24

You minded their dd for a whole week. Youdid what worked for you and your family.

if they are that arsed they can reinstate her nap and move her bedtime back to eleven. Personally they sound mad for not saying thank you!!

poolomoomon · 04/09/2014 19:25

Ungrateful sods. I wish I had a sister as kind as you. You did them a favour IMO, 11 PM is way too late for a toddler to be going to bed. 7.30 is much more reasonable. They should be loving the fact you got her into the routine of going to bed at a sensible time, now they have their evenings back!

runningonwillpower · 04/09/2014 19:28

Crikey - well done though! They should be thanking you not giving you grief.

What she said.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 04/09/2014 19:28

When my parents had my two year for 2 weeks while I was in hospital, they let him fall asleep on the sofa a god knows what time and let him eat rich tea biscuits for breakfast. When they brought him home I said thank you.

11pm is a stupid bedtime for a 20 month old and in this case I would say my house my rules trumps their child their choice.

GlaceDragonflies · 04/09/2014 19:35

They need to stop being so ungrateful, you didn't have to look after her and to expect you to have a 20 month old all day and until 11pm.

KnackeredMuchly · 04/09/2014 19:36

Outrageous!! Tell them to fuck off.

Scrounger · 04/09/2014 19:38

I agree with everyone else, they are being incredibly ungrateful. You have done them a massive favour and they should be thanking you and giving you a couple of bottles of wine as a thank you.

I bet they will forgive you in time for you to babysit again though.

ThatBloodyWoman · 04/09/2014 19:38

If they insist on treating you like their errant employee, give them the bill.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/09/2014 19:40

my 20 month old went to bed at 11. only way we got 6 hours straight. However, I would not care tha you had changed the routine as you are going beyond the call of duty to mind a child for a week. Your child should not be inconvenienced by you doimg them a favour. I amsure you are not going to be doing them such a favour again.

Anniegetyourgun · 04/09/2014 19:40

Did they get cross before or after they gave you an extremely generous gift to compensate you for having their child for an entire week?

They did give you an extremely generous gift, didn't they?

Did they?

Fairyfellowsmasterstroke · 04/09/2014 19:41

LTB

Oh no, wrong thread!!!!!!

LittlePeaPod · 04/09/2014 19:42

You helped them out for a week and they treat you like this.

IMO, 11pm is a ridiculous time to send a 20 month old to bed.

Do sweat it Op and dot o hem any more favours.

middlings · 04/09/2014 19:43

Ignore them. Idiots.

Do you want my two for a week?! You can send them to bed anytime you flipping well like!

Iggly · 04/09/2014 19:44

Pmsl. How can you make it up to them?!

Who are these piss takers!?

Tell them so start a thread on here.

Iggly · 04/09/2014 19:44

*to start

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