To wonder how it is affordable to be a SAHM?

[Moobieboobie]

This is not a WOHM vs SAHM debate but am genuinely curious ....... I am on mat leave with DC2 and keep being asked if I am returning to work. I would love to stay at home this time round but sadly this is not a possibility as both myself and DH earn roughly the same thus my salary is 50% of the household costs. We would not receive any benefits etc as we would still be above the threshold even without my salary. If there is someway around this please let me know as I will try anything!!

OscarWinningActress, I think you put it very well.
Our decisions are a product of a variety of things which are like an equation in our lives. The inputs include our financial position, the value we place on career, impact on DH, value on future pensions, on material possessions, on the impact of time spent with children and our own personalities and desires. We all have different inputs and somehow balance the equation to get an outcome.
Some people wouldn't even consider not working full time and others wouldn't consider going out to work. Others juggle the inputs to get an outcome that they want. For some, this means making huge sacrifices so they can stay at home, with less money. For others, it means spending out big time on childcare, in order to work. There are 'costs' to all of our decisions. I guess the key thing to is to fully appreciate what the costs are to know what really matters to us as a family, and then to act to deliver the best possible outcome for our individual circumstances.

I hope that everyone on here is able to get the best possible outcome for them and their families given their unique circumstances.

I think we can all agree onthat and also that this is not an issue for women. it is an issue for parents. Plenty of men need to think about that balance too, find childcare if they want to work and the like. Foist it on to men big time at your own home, at work, when talking to friends - ask that man who is or will managing collecting the child from nursery and how his interviews with nannies or childminders are going. Steal the issue away from being something dumped on women to their detriment all the time. Make it fairer and nicer for all.