To wonder how it is affordable to be a SAHM?

[Moobieboobie]

This is not a WOHM vs SAHM debate but am genuinely curious ....... I am on mat leave with DC2 and keep being asked if I am returning to work. I would love to stay at home this time round but sadly this is not a possibility as both myself and DH earn roughly the same thus my salary is 50% of the household costs. We would not receive any benefits etc as we would still be above the threshold even without my salary. If there is someway around this please let me know as I will try anything!!

Whonows

I'd hope that as time goes on the barriers between what is considered creative and mathematical/scientific are blurred.

By that I mean that too often young people are funnelled into science/maths or art/ english. DP had terrible trouble with his higher subjects as he did computer science and art which were timetabled at the same time. Yet as a computer programmer he uses creativity all the time and needs visual/design awareness. As a copywriter increasingly I need computer programming skills such as HTML and need to understand logical ways that CMS works.

I remember Apple saying they employ people from diverse backgrounds just as people with science backgrounds writeThe Simpsons!

My take on it: whichever route seems best now, keep an eye on it and stay ready to change. Dont get in a rut. Raising children takes a long time from birth of first to nest flying of last. The long game means not letting yourself get locked into what's best now long after it isnt actually benefitting you.

I have been a parent since 1983 and have at least 10 more years until my youngest moves out (though he adorably assures me he wants to buy the flat upstairs and stay very close, when he is not stomping around insisting he will move back to Be American when he is grown up.)

A lot can happen. I have been a penny pinching SAHM because I earned less than childcarers, a full time worker, part time worker, career changing student at mid-life working odd jobs related to the course. i have supported a spouse through graduate school, from when his VISA only allowed him to be a student (though he had funding, we werent paying for school) to the end when his field went through a hiring slowdown just as he was graduating and he was working via temporary agencies). i have worked when my salary was completely superfluous (wish i had saved more those 3 years!), and I have been the only wage earner. I have been the only parent at all and have been a SAHM here at the end.

When i met my husband, i was raising 2 children whose dad had left. We discussed on our first date our joint preference to not have children until one of us could stay home. That took 14 years, I now have been at home for 7. After our son started school, and then we moved continents for DHs career, and we spent a year with me making too small a flat work, we finally discussed my going back to work a few weeks ago, after we finally bought a flat. My 2nd career was chef in the years before our son was born. In this country and after all this time, I would have to take several steps back down the ladder, but even at best, it's long, odd hours. We can't see a long term benefit to creating the constant childcare scramble two careers on incompatible time clocks would create; and it seems our son needs more educational support than his sisters did, which would add to the scramble. My career is unlikely to reach top salary in culinary work & my office admin experience is over a decade out of date, but spouse is mid-career with a great deal of potential. Our current view is my staying home allows him to play the career builder more profitably and gives our son his best chance at certain options. We will look again in another year or two, meanwhile, I am casting about for volunteer work and coursework that could be developed later.

thanks beast, I've been meaning to look into this for ages, seriously!

Excellent post Momagain

It's a good career, SSd. I am a qualified Accountant which is also worth considering depending on how old you are and what your plans are. There is chartered which is what i am, but also cost and management variants. You are never out of work and you can get work round whatever hours you like. The hourly rate is worth having.

You don't need maths. I only have O level and I am so old that I qualified pre computer. Nowadays you need maths even less.

Good luck!

I'm a chartered accountant and only have GCSE maths too. Beware double-entry bookkeeping at first though. It drove me mad until suddenly it clicked.

thanks ladies, I do appreciate the advise!

I'm classed in the middle age camp greengrow was sneeringat, talking about

I'd love to learn book keeping, I tried when the kids were young but had to give up as I couldnt get to classes, now there are many more ways to learn

any advice about what to start studying would be useful, its all a bit of a blur, book keeping, sage, line 50, I've seen it all advertised but dont know where the beginning should be!

I can't see the original post on middle age but how depressing that women buy into the idea that only middle age men can have creative authority.

What a shame Zaha Hadid didn't become that book keeper.

Sexist crap really - we must all be pouring over numbers, the little things for a solid wage. No original thinking allowed.

actually the original post was requoted and it made me laugh, it fitted me exactly! I presume it was made by greengrow, but apologies to her if I'm wrong. I really like greengrows posts, they are usually the opposite to my points of view but I find they are usually very interesting and make me see the world is full of people who are different to me.

I don't mind the be a surgeon element fine. But people are fine with fat balding male middle age geniuses, which is sexist.

But yeh I get it was made in jest.

Mind you people are just as shit about female CEOs some colleagues were laughing about how hard and what a bitch usual sexist stuff.

Well thanks Marsha for pointing out how shit my job must be. I shall go off and write a novel.

Eh? I don't look down on either, I was disgusted by their attitude.

I want a world where female CEOs can lead without sexist drivel and Louise Bourgeois can have her name at the top of the Tate Modern without sexist drivel about age.

Anything else is too depressing.

Sexist crap really - we must all be pouring over numbers, the little things for a solid wage. No original thinking allowed

Or wasn't this what you said?

Both existing is good. It doesn't have to be either, or does it.

Shall I write a book about spreadsheets?

I like my job, it's fascinating at times. You're the one who said it must be about the little things.

Ok it's the little things that did it, fair enough. I loved economics at university but accounting class gave me a head ache.

It's not my best subject but can see that others really liked it and no problem with that.

thanks ssd. I cannot be bothered to read back to what I post but I think I had talked about middle class not middle aged but I can't remember.
I certainly always liked tax and was so pleased to win the university prize in that particularly because just about the whole of the class was made up of male students except for me. Women rule or we want to.

It's just as bad at the top of the creative industries. Which is why I'm for leading female creative authority and geniuses - always a male term.

Society across the spectrum should be shaped by women.

I've recently become a SAHM. DP earns £32k. We have one DC and received child benefit but nothing else.

I was earning £200 a month in my part-time job. DP received a pay-rise which covered that amount and we decided for me to become a SAHM, which I wanted to do ever since I went back to work after ML.

It now means we get to spend DP's day off as a family rather than me going to work on that day. His money is our money. DP would never expect to live off his income while I went without. We're a family and it's family money.

I'm also a million times happier. I hated my job and would dread going in every week. I ran a busy high street shop for a few pence more an hour than the sales assistants' pay, because management didn't work on the day I did.

I now get to enjoy a day out with DP and DS every week. DP really looks forward to our family day each week and I'm really happy with the decision we made. £200 a month couldn't buy that happiness.

Just to add - working more than part-time was never an option for me. I earned approx £7 an hour. Childminders in our area charge £6. Add on the hour either end of the working day that I would have to pay plus the train fare, I would actually be making a loss by working. And when I say I, I mean we. It doesn't matter if I solely paid for it or if DP and I spilt the amount. It's still exactly the same amount of money coming out of the pot.

Give, that seems to work for you. Sounds good.

Why does your husband earn £32k and you could not earn more than £7 an hour ir £15k a year? Does that reflect the exam results you both got at school or sexism in your family or your career choice as a teenager? Or is he just twice as talented as you are so earns double the pay you could?

ssd start from the other end. Think what job you want and train for it.

Go and talk to a recruitment agency like Reed accounting and ask them what training would mean they could place you in a job, easy peasy, round where you live. Then do that. Reed run a lot themselves and wil no doubt try to steer you towards their own brand, but I think it's OK.

You could either do book keeping, or you could do accountancy in various flavours, or you could do business administration. But decide based on the job you want and what sells best given the rest of your CV- don't just guess.

give what you are doing sounds great. In your shoes I would have a ten year plan for making sure that I can get back into paid work when I want to- that doesn't mean now. I loved my seven years SAHM and have never regretted them.