I'm ready for a flaming but heres a 'brief' back story first.
I split from DS's father about 6yrs ago due to domestic violence and the fact that I wasn't allowed to go out/work/see friends/family etc. I was petrified of him and I only managed to escape by informing the police that he was a drug dealer. He ended up getting 4yrs and spent 2 inside. During this time I moved to London with my DS and started a degree. I was going back and forth to court as the grandparents were trying to gain custody on my exes behalf. My ex and his family were having phone calls whenever they wanted to but my ex always swore down the phone and told my DS that he should spit/kick me etc. The court decided that contact should stop between my DS and his father.
Once ex was out of prison court carried on. Mediation was given a go but my ex would just accuse me of poisoning my DS against him (I never he is old enough to remember seeing his dad abuse me etc). Ex was given the right to weekly phone calls which my DS refused to speak and still doesn't until this day (Over 4yrs). 2 years ago my ex was given contact of 6 times a year to happen at a contact centre during the holidays/half term. He saw him twice after court finished in July 2012 and hasn't seen him since although he will still phone and my DS still doesn't speak.
A couple of months ago my ex found out where I worked and came into the store shouting abuse and threatening me. He also went to one of my close friends house and told her to tell me to 'watch my back'. These both happened within a week and I called the police for harassment. He was arrested and is due in court the end of September.
So the problem is this..
Yesterday my above mentioned friend had a phone call from my exes sister. (The family doesn't have my number). She had called my friend in tears saying tell Owl to call us as something bad has happened to Ex. So I called the sister and she was crying down the phone saying that Ex is ill and needs to see his son. She then put my ex on the phone who told me he's been diagnosed with cancer and apparently it's bad. I asked what stage is it which he didn't have a clue and just said he's going for more tests this week. He wanted to speak to DS which I gave DS the phone, who remained silent as always. Ex wants to see DS 'one last time' although DS is adamant that he doesn't want to see his dad. I explained to DS that his father is ill but DS just shrugged it off. Should I take DS to see is dad? Should I found out how serious it is before I decide? Should DS be the one to decide as he is 11? To be honest knowing my ex and his ways it could all be a lie and could endanger me but who in the right mind would lie about something so serious? I said to him I would call back the end of next week so he can tell me his results. I may sound cold hearted but this guy put me through so much sh!t and I really don't care what happens to him. I'm more worried about how my DS will feel in the future if it does turn out to be serious.