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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my DS an iPad for his birthday?

323 replies

ziggiestardust · 27/08/2014 15:49

He's going to be 4, and I think it's be a great idea for him to have his own. He watches movies on mine at the weekend, we take it in the car for long trips, and it's got some games and stories on there too. I'd love to be able to free up space on my iPad by giving him his own.

It's just a posh LeapPad isn't it really?

My mum is getting all incredulous and puffy cheeked about it, but I had a Sega Megadrive when I was about his age and played on it after school with my friends. At least this would get more use! She seems to have forgotten that bit though Grin

AIBU?

OP posts:
LatteLoverLovesLattes · 28/08/2014 14:39

I just fail to see why a 4 year old would ever need his own iPad. Particularly when he hasn't asked for one nor when he's getting everything else he asked for nor when he can access one daily

Because it will make the OP's life easier and she can get rid of all the kiddy films and apps currently filling up her ipad, which is what she has said from the beginning.

TenMinutesEarly · 28/08/2014 14:41

In answer to Latte.

They have access to a lot of technology but they have to share it, they know it's there for everyone to use and not theirs alone.

My dc are 4 and 6. That's why they won't get their own iPad for a long time. They have access to one so don't NEED their own. They can share.

DH agrees with me on the XBOX ultimately. He was the one who suggested the bikes, but in any case he is free to veto any decisions I suggest which he thinks are not great for the dc. We discuss things and come to a decision. We have a great marriage so don't try to decipher our relationship from one post.

APotNoodleandaTommy · 28/08/2014 14:45

No.
But he's 9 months old Grin
And if he was older, still no.
If he needed one to help with school/study and it made sense, my husband and I would look at the situation and make a family decision. Regarding his education.
That is our choice. And if/when we get to that, I won't post in AIBU for opinion...

curiousgeorgie · 28/08/2014 14:47

I see... Wait until he's 4 and post again Wink

APotNoodleandaTommy · 28/08/2014 14:55

You could try to be slightly more condescending... Smile

Maybe some people stick to some of their values. My previous posts have made my views on this clear and justified in my head.

LightastheBreeze · 28/08/2014 14:59

If you want to get him an iPad, just buy it. Why do you have to use the excuse of a birthday present. He is already getting the presents he asked for.

curiousgeorgie · 28/08/2014 15:01

I'm sure they are very justified at the moment.

No one ever changed their minds on huge decisions once their children get older and more difficult. No one. Ever.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 28/08/2014 15:02

TenMinutesEarly So, the OP needs to produce a sibling for her DS then it would be fine because then they'd have to share it. It's an expensive solution! Grin

APot That is our choice. And if/when we get to that, I won't post in AIBU for opinion... wise woman Grin

EarthWindFire · 28/08/2014 15:03

It was once considered extravagant to buy children books too. Luckily, we now know better.

You are seriously comparing the price if books to an iPad Confused

Snatchoo · 28/08/2014 15:03

I don't think it's a bad idea to get him a tablet (my 4 year olds were bought one each by grandad at Xmas) but personally I wouldn't get iPads. They really aren't necessary and you are just paying for the name.

My boys have hudls with access to Netflix and a load of apps. My two year old can manage to find what he wants with ease. I have an iPad and an iPhone. I actually prefer the Hudls because I feel less nervy using them! Partly because my iPad is a corporate one and I worry I'm going to break it, and partly because I find the iPad a bit heavy tbh.

Also not had a problem with buffering or anything like that so long as we are connected to our wifi signal!

charleybarley · 28/08/2014 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/08/2014 15:08

APotNoodle - there were things I was dead set against, when my dses were as young as yours - things I was certain I would never do, or buy, or allow them to have - but as they grew up, I had to face the fact that reality often changes our preconceived ideas. My boys were going to have lovely wooden toys, no nasty, cheap plastic. They weren't going to have a playstation or wear man-made-fibre football/sports shirts. Guess what - they had got older, and had different ideas, and we learned to be flexible - as families have to.

It is very easy to be idealistic about what you will and won't do with your child now, but you have no idea what it is like to have a 4-year-old. When you do, you might find you have to be change some of your ideas. You might find yourself grinning wryly at how idealistic you were.

APotNoodleandaTommy · 28/08/2014 15:08

Curious, I love how your only comeback to me is your conviction that I will buy my son an iPad in 3.3 years time for his 4th birthday...
GREAT comeback...

PoppyFleur · 28/08/2014 15:08

YANBU & if you are already invested in apps for iOS it would be unwise to purchase an android tablet.

Both DH & I work in the high tech industry, whether people like it or not technology will be a massive part of this current generations life. Tablets are used in schools & it is a great idea for children to know, use, understand & not fear technology. We will be starting to teach DS coding around the age of 5 years old. Start them young I say!

APotNoodleandaTommy · 28/08/2014 15:12

SDTG - I have none of the sensibilities you're protecting on me! Our son has plastic toys and hand me down clothes and all sorts.
I - personally want him to appreciate the value of money, and have no intention to spend hundreds of pounds on things when he's little, thus normalising it
That's our parenting decision. Joint. My husband and I share these values.
The OP asked opinion on if she wbu to buy her 4 year old son an iPad.
My answer was yabu, and the reasons why
Why these 'knowing' mothers come out of the woodwork to tell me what I'm going to do with my son is bizarre to me and completely irrelevant!

LightastheBreeze · 28/08/2014 15:16

I'm always amazed at these threads that if a child watches loads of films, tv programmes, cartoons on an iPad it is fine and a good thing but if they watch them on a TV there is a lot of hand-wringing about how bad it is to plonk them in front of the television all day.

ilovesooty · 28/08/2014 15:29

If you're using it for recipes while cooking dinner how does he amuse himself then?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/08/2014 15:46

APotNoodle - I was not saying that you are dead set against plastic toys. These were examples of the values that I held, when ds1 was only 9 months old, and that I was sure I would be adhering to - to illustrate how the reality of life with small children changed my mind.

Original poster
ziggiestardust · 28/08/2014 16:18

I said I like to use my iPad for recipes, and I've often thought 'oh I want to use my iPad' when DS is using it for whatever reason. Like if we are laying on my bed watching a movie on my iPad, I sometimes think how nice it would be to use that time to do an online shop or file some receipts, as I've seen some of the movies many times but DS likes them.

OP posts:
alwayssleepy · 28/08/2014 17:36

Actually, the iPad we have is a bit heavy in my handbag if we want to take it out, so an iPad mini for the kid would be good, they are much lighter and more portable. You can keep the larger iPad for at home.

My husband has an iPad mini, I have a normal iPad and we both have iPhones. Sometimes on a sunday when we are all sleepy and the day is winding down you will find us all sat on the sofa messing about online, our son will be playing a game, I will be reading the news on my iPhone and my husband will be watching car videos on his iPad mini. It's blissful and quiet, but if grandma popped her head up at the lounge window at that point she would be disappointed!

What she wouldn't know is that we have been out all day together on a day trip, having lunch out and not looked at the internet all day, and that this final few minutes of quiet before bedtime are lovely for us all.

It's not that different to watching some kids tv before bed, but the bonus is that I don't have to watch what my son is watching and we can all do something we want to do for a few mins on our own devices. We can do useful things with this time too, we do a bit of work (we both can work remotely), do an online shop, arrange some dates with friends and get some online banking done.

That's what you will gain by having an iPad each I think.

If I could afford it I would get one each.

Laquitar · 28/08/2014 17:57

Remember people.

Plasma tvs were status symbol once upon a time and look what happened to them :P.

LightastheBreeze · 28/08/2014 21:15

Does no one watch TV or use a laptop anymore in the house. I have an iPad and it's ok, it has it's place but I much prefer my MacBook and the TV I don't watch much TV on it as it reminds me of watching a portable TV in my room when I was young. OP haven't you got a laptop you can use while DS uses your iPad

Fishstix · 28/08/2014 21:20

No 4 year old needs a tablet. I really don't understand this clamouring to give young children technology they don't need.
I refuse to buy my 9 your old one, because all the girls from her class have them and surprise, surprise they use them constantly when they are together, they interact with their screens more than one another (not unlike their parents if you go for a meal with them.)
Don't get my wrong, I have a tablet and it is extremely useful for my business needs and to organise my social engagements. But a 4 year old within ipad? Just no.

curiousgeorgie · 28/08/2014 22:42

Fishtix - does it not bother you that all your 9 year olds friends have something she doesn't? That's like grounds for bullying.

curiousgeorgie · 28/08/2014 22:42

I couldn't cope with that. If have to get her one.