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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my DS an iPad for his birthday?

323 replies

ziggiestardust · 27/08/2014 15:49

He's going to be 4, and I think it's be a great idea for him to have his own. He watches movies on mine at the weekend, we take it in the car for long trips, and it's got some games and stories on there too. I'd love to be able to free up space on my iPad by giving him his own.

It's just a posh LeapPad isn't it really?

My mum is getting all incredulous and puffy cheeked about it, but I had a Sega Megadrive when I was about his age and played on it after school with my friends. At least this would get more use! She seems to have forgotten that bit though Grin

AIBU?

OP posts:
Fishstix · 30/08/2014 09:04

You are right about the bosom hoiking though. It's clearly a marmite debate. One of those things you think are great or terrible. And something we all feel emotive about.
Still not buying dd one this year though! ;)

LightastheBreeze · 30/08/2014 09:22

A lot of sense spoken by Fishstix, Ragwort, Littlebearpad, etc

We are talking about a 4 year old, surely if he needs one that badly the parent can get another iPad for herself, her second iPad which she controls and puts his stuff on and supervises his use. Not just give a 4 year old it as a toy. He is little more than a baby, he hasn't even started school yet, however intelligent, forward, computer savvy we thing our young child is, and let face it we all do, they are still a child, who knows nothing about the world.

These devices should be supervised in the same way family PC's were a few years ago, no-one would have dreamed then of getting a young child a computer of their own and things like Leap pads, gameboys etc are a totally different thing.

Also regarding the cost, that doesn't seem to make so much difference as to whether parents buy these for children or not. The very wealthy who could afford everything, usually do not spoil their children but sometime people with less money will buy their children everything, even though they go without themselves because they feel they missed out when they were younger and it can be all a bit "keeping up with the Jones".

Eauneau · 30/08/2014 09:40

Well, some parents need the iPad to work from at home and its not appropriate to share with their children, they are told specifically that it is not for family use if the iPad has been provided by work.

That is a different circumstance, and also not the one in the OP.

Others may just want to be able to use it when they want and not have to joint a queue.

Well then, you tell your child that you now want to use it and that their time is over.

I see nothing wrong with giving kids access to technology of this kind. But to give a 4 year old a very expensive and pretty sophisticated device of their own is just not necessary.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 09:45

Fishstix

Which is it?

I refuse to buy my 9 your old one

OR

every year, when we have presented her with an alternative, she has chosen that

and if indeed she has had the choice (which then makes you no different to the OP!!!) then

but I'd only ever want her using it for an hour a week anyway, so she may as we'll use mine

if you are saying ^ to her, it's hardly surprising she hasn't 'chosen' one -it's hardly a choice is it, if you say you can have one, but you can't actually use it?

I don't want her joining the ranks of her clone classmates

How would you feel if someone said 'I don't want her being like the freak kid who doesn't have one^

It's not nice to talk about children like that.

CariadsDarling · 30/08/2014 09:51

The conversation moved on from the original post a long time ago. :)

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 09:57

lightasthebreeze

We are talking about a 4 year old, surely if he needs one that badly the parent can get another iPad for herself, her second iPad which she controls and puts his stuff on and supervises his use

... and this makes a difference HOW exactly? It's a second iPad in the house whatever you call it. Some parents choose to call it the parents iPad to make their lives easier, it doesn't change the child's use of it. The parent determines the use of it, not who it 'belongs' to.

LightastheBreeze · 30/08/2014 09:57

Yes it has hasn't it, I think OPs disappeared, probably sorting out her house purchasing Grin

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 09:58

Who was that aimed at Cariads?

LightastheBreeze · 30/08/2014 09:59

Well she obviously needs a second iPad as there is apparently not enough storage on the first and you can't add storage to them.

LightastheBreeze · 30/08/2014 10:13

These things have to be kept under a parents control, once you tell a child anything is his, and his birthday present, that is when tantrums start as you are controlling what he thinks is his toy.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 10:14

Yeeeeeeeeeees and that's why she wants to get one to put all DS's stuff on so she can free hers up.

CariadsDarling · 30/08/2014 10:14

This lady, Eauneau, in reply to her last sentence.

This thread like all the others on iPads etc has been done to death (again) so Im off, and not just because my mum, grandchildren, children, dog, goldfish, tv, coffee table, are all shouting at me to get off the computer because its bad for me Saturday and a day to have a good time.

Have a nice one ladies. :)

LightastheBreeze · 30/08/2014 10:20

Yes Latte but the mistake she is making is that she is giving it to her son as a birthday present so it is then his toy, if she kept it herself and didn't give it to him it wouldn't be his, it would be the parents like the other one so then she has got full control.

I think I just said this. Smile

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 10:20

No, it's no different than telling children laptops/pads/phones have to stay downstairs at night or that no, they can't ride their bikes right now, or play in the garden or get all the 'art' stuff out or tip the lego all over the floor... tantrums occur when a child thinks they will get their way having one, they soon learn it doesn't work if you are consistent.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 10:21

You too cariads it actually looks like the sun is trying to get out!

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 10:22

She has full control whether it's hers or his - she is the parent :)

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 10:22

I think I just said that Grin

mirrorpants · 02/09/2014 09:35

This thread is amazing. 300 replies! My 4 year old has his own iPad. We unashamedly love apple here, if he breaks it so what, that's what insurance is for.

DogCalledRudis · 02/09/2014 11:22

I would say YABU at 4. Without internet connection it is pretty much useless, and unsupervised internet access at that age is too early.

jellybelly701 · 02/09/2014 12:30

I wouldn't buy a 4 year old a tablet, I wouldn't give a shit whether they can watch films on one or not. I fully intend my child and any future children I may have to spend their childhoods being children. Flying kites, crafts, building dens and climbing tree's. I think it's a real shame that a lot of children nowadays would prefer to sit indoors on the internet over playing out with friends.

It was my grandmas birthday recently, my cousin and her four children went round to visit her and spent the whole afternoon staring at their phone and tablet screens as did my father and three of my teenage cousins lifting their heads only to sing happy birthday before returning to their zombie state.

We are pressured so much to buy this crap, even bloody aquafresh (or is it Colgate) have a brush time app they want you to download for your kids. Can you imagine? "Luke its time to brush your teeth" "I can't mum my tablets out of battery". Yes tablets and smart phones are nice things to have and yes they can be really useful but they are not needed in every day life and they are certainly not needed in our children's lives. we could get by perfectly fine without them.

If people want to buy their little children this stuff then fine, its none of my business but its not the route I am personally going to take.

I hope your DS has a lovely birthday Smile

curiousgeorgie · 02/09/2014 13:30

Can't a child fly a kite, build a den, climb a tree... And then spend 15 minutes doing puzzles on an iPad? Confused

I don't understand why they're mutually exclusive.

wolfe1 · 02/09/2014 13:58

My 4yo has an iPad. He doesn't spend a lot of time on it and enjoys things such as colouring, pairing, building dens, playing superheroes, legos, running around in circles, playing on the park, climbing, reading books ect. more than the iPad.

However it is useful for when we travel, good for him to watch his tv shows and to play some games on. He also sometimes does educational things such as practising his letters on as well.

As another poster said i don't understand why people seem to think those things are mutually exclusive. My son has loads of outdoor time, but will also enjoy spending 15 mins on his iPad occasionally while I'm making dinner, or seeing to one of his brothers.

If you have the money i don't see what is wrong with it tbh.

Also, Jelly your family were just plain rude, and that isn't technologies fault. I also have teenagers who have the latest gadgets and when we visit family/are on a day out/ eating food ect the rule is that these gadgets stay away.

CariadsDarling · 02/09/2014 14:08

Curiousgeorgie,

people get more of a personal feel good factor on threads like this when they've convinced themselves children who have iPads and the likes can't climb trees, build a den etc.

Its just the way it is.

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