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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my DS an iPad for his birthday?

323 replies

ziggiestardust · 27/08/2014 15:49

He's going to be 4, and I think it's be a great idea for him to have his own. He watches movies on mine at the weekend, we take it in the car for long trips, and it's got some games and stories on there too. I'd love to be able to free up space on my iPad by giving him his own.

It's just a posh LeapPad isn't it really?

My mum is getting all incredulous and puffy cheeked about it, but I had a Sega Megadrive when I was about his age and played on it after school with my friends. At least this would get more use! She seems to have forgotten that bit though Grin

AIBU?

OP posts:
curiousgeorgie · 28/08/2014 22:42

I'd*

backwardpossom · 28/08/2014 23:13

No 4 year old needs a tablet. I really don't understand this clamouring to give young children technology they don't need.

Surely no-one needs a tablet, full stop? The point is that we (well, most of us) like them and in many ways they make our lives easier. If I had the money, I'd probably buy DS (5) an iPad, but I don't. C'est la vie. I should have worked harder at school, or something.

curiousgeorgie · 28/08/2014 23:16

No one needs toys.

No one needs new clothes.

No one needs holidays.

But those who can, have them. That's life.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/08/2014 23:16

Isn't a birthday present about something the recipient will enjoy and have fun with, rather than something they just need?

LightastheBreeze · 29/08/2014 01:03

Why would Fishtix DD get bullied because she hasn't got an iPad, there must be lots of children without iPads for whatever reason, do they all get bullied?

LightastheBreeze · 29/08/2014 01:05

Sorry Fishstix silly iPad useless keyboard.

Alonglongway · 29/08/2014 01:50

Big tech person here and have brought my kids up with all the devices. However, mine are girls and I would just observe that boys IME are more game obsessed - I really don't know why but it does appear to be true. Of course you could control his content but I would just be wary of starting that stage early. Though maybe iPads feel less like consoles?

Wellknackerdmammy · 29/08/2014 02:44

Llf :-) I never thought about buying my DS and ipad. Do you think I shld get my DvD a computer?

stopgap · 29/08/2014 03:27

My son just turned three, and I had go confiscate my ancient iPod from him, that he had been using to access audio books and songs. He'd used it for six months, and was getting all the more obsessed with flicking from one the thing to the next, which not only drove me bonkers, but made me realise that it can't have been good for him. I swear his moods and focus have improved in the last few weeks. Maybe this is a lesser concern with four year old boys as opposed to three year old boys, but it's something to consider.

Merel · 29/08/2014 04:09

I don't have any kids, therefore I will defend my right to a nostalgic outlook on child rearing. My kids will be climbing trees and reading proper books and making matchstick models etc.

However, of the people I know who have children from 2-3 upwards, they all comment on how their kids can operate tablets and phones as well as they can (better I think in some instances).

I came from a home that always had a computer of some sort, no internet back then. So realistically, if the child can be trusted to know its something to be looked after, parental controls are in place, and screen time is kept to a sensible duration, then I don't really see the harm if you can afford it. This is going to be the norm in the coming years, if it isn't already. Decent tablets do cost a bit of money, but in a few years when the cost of them comes down, every home will already have several.

Merel · 29/08/2014 04:15

With regards to the arguments that the iPad has not been requested or is not needed, then that's just nonsense. Has no-one ever given or received a surprise gift? We were bought a snooker table out of the blue when we were kids. It hadn't been requested and it certainly wasn't needed, but it was an excellent present which gave us many months of fun.

Kahu · 29/08/2014 04:34

I have been trying not to get drawn into this thread but here's my tuppence's worth...

My issue with iPads, iPhones and the like is that they are addictive. We cannot help but look at those screens. Every tiny spare moment of boredom or "alone" time is filled by looking at those screens. Just look around.

I think that we need moments of boredom and aloneness in our lives. I believe that often moments of boredom often lead to moments of great creativity.

So 4 year olds and iPads? My concerns are that 4 year olds can't regulate their own use (hell, I can't regulate my use) and as parents we can't regulate our children's use of them. What can be a great teaching tool, with parental involvement, quickly becomes mindless entertainment so we can get a bit of peace and quiet.

I think we do our kids a great disservice by not allowing them to get bored more often.

I'm going to hide this thread now. and turn this damn thing off! Grin

KoalaDownUnder · 29/08/2014 04:55

I couldn't agree with you more, kahu. Well said. (I think an iPad is a terrible present for a 4-year-old.)

Am also hiding the thread now [grins]

FanjolinaJolie · 29/08/2014 05:07

I agree. 4yo is too young IMO. I would rather they were outside on scooters or bikes or if inside in Mecanno, Lego, playmobil

Our DD's have ipads they are age 8 and 10 only allowed 40mins screen time per day, 20 mins games and 20 mins Mathletics.

I am still not convinced they should have them, however they had small inheritance from great grandmother so spend half on ipad mini, half into savings.

CariadsDarling · 29/08/2014 06:11

Three of my grandchildren, aged between 3 and a half and just turned 9 have iPads and have done for some time now. They are fine with them. I don't actually know why they have iPads rather than another kind of tablet but as Im not technical it doesn't matter because I wouldn't understand the reason why anyway.

None of them are addicted to them, they all have hobbies that mean they spend a lot of time out doors and they dont have to be restricted time wise on them because they don't spend much time on them in the first place - not everyday, but that could be because they also use them in school.

I dont understand the angst people feel when it comes to such things - the world moves on, we had TV, todays children have others things to chose from.

As for the money aspect of it and teaching children how to value money - I think for some it may be true but I believe for a whole lot more its how they justify not being able to buy one. Rather than just say we can't afford it they turn it into something its not in order to feel better about themselves when telling people why their children don't have one.

Personally I'd rather tell the truth, that we can't afford it, rather than be bosom hoiking and a fibber.

AppleAndMelon · 29/08/2014 06:41

To be honest OP, you seem to have made up your mind already so just do it - in fact I'm not really sure why you posted.

Personally I think £500+ is excessive for a four year old's birthday present - but you don't, so go for it.

LL12 · 29/08/2014 07:33

I have the money to buy an ipad but chose not to as I see no point in spending so much money just for a name.
We have used ipad's but have a Nexus and Hudls's, we are more than happy with our tablets and don't think the extra you pay for an ipad gives you that much extra if any.
My husbands family are the opposite, they see us as 'poor' just because we don't have ipads, they seem to think we are in awe of them and their ipads.
The stupid thing is they can't really afford to have them, hardly use them and just got them as a status symbol.

FunkyBoldRibena · 29/08/2014 07:39

I couldn't agree more Kahu. I often get grief for missing things on facebook or other media [What did you think of X? Blank look. I posted it on your wall. Eh?] because most of the day I am outside in the garden, greenhouse or community garden and that's where most of my creativity and ideas happen. That and the bath.

LightastheBreeze · 29/08/2014 07:45

People never start threads saying I'm going to get my 4 year old a Tesco Hudl or other makes of tablet its always an iPad, I wonder why.

bakingtins · 29/08/2014 07:57

I wouldn't get either of my boys (4 and 7) their own tablet because I'd never get them off it. They have password protected restricted access to the family iPad. Where's the fun in buying them one of their own and immediately imposing time restrictions? My friend bought her son a Nintendo DS and it just became a source of conflict.
In our house all the screens belong to the adults so we are the gatekeepers.

merlehaggard · 29/08/2014 08:03

No, but it isn't uncommon to see a thread saying "I'm going to get my 4 year old a tablet. In your opinion, which one's better?" which is basically the same thing, though can't really see your point.

I do think iPads are better than alternatives, having owned several before getting an ipad. I don't know why people say owning an ipad is a status thing. They are far too common place for that. If she was suggesting to buy the iphone 5s, I'd agree. Why is it more of a status thing to own his own rather than use his mum's. Who is going to know whose it is so who would she be trying to impress.

LightastheBreeze · 29/08/2014 08:07

I don't think young children nowadays are allowed to get bored they have to be constantly doing something, usually involving a screen. I'm sure these children when they get a little bit older will never disappear off for hours to read a good book, do a difficult jigsaw or learn to play chess, because they will find it boring as it is not a moving interactive image.

YABU

LightastheBreeze · 29/08/2014 08:11

But people must buy their children other tablets and don't feel the need to come onto MN to mention it, it is always an iPad, why is she asking anyway if she is going to get one, we have iPads but didn't come on MN to ask if it was OK to buy one.

MyFairyKing · 29/08/2014 08:12

I'm not very pearl clutchy about children on devices, mainly because I worked in a nursery and saw the positive impact it can have on children's development. There's no doubt that some parents use 'screens' as babysitters but you can't blame technology for that.

I do think that this post was a bit stealth boasty as a PP said, you don't see an OP asked if they should buy their child a tablet, it's always an iPad. Plus, most OPs seem to have made up their mind anyway, so it's not like they were actually asking if they were BU.

LightastheBreeze · 29/08/2014 08:22

I've already bought him what he asked for, which was the barbie dream house from Toy Story 3, the barbie and ken and a diesel works from Thomas the Tank, along with some engines because he likes them.

and I'm also going to buy him an iPad because it will be useful

If this isn't stealth boasting I don't know what is

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