to fucking HATE words like

[JustDontWantToSay]

"totes"
"emosh"
"amazeballs"

and the horror I've just seen on fb....

"appaz" (apparently).

FFS. WHY?????

plebgate
dianagate
bingate
disagreementgate
fuckedoffgate

Fuck off with the gate at the end. Why? just why? There is no need for it and which bloody idiot started it anyway?

DH tried to call a major plumbing disaster we had some years ago 'Watergate' - I had to disabuse him of that notion

I'd have drowned him.

I can't stand "cuz" with reference to "cousin"

The worst one though is " me bird " with reference to one's girlfriend.
I would kill dp if I ever heard him refer to me as that, along with an annoying tweet tweet.
Thankfully he's got more about him than that.

There are some very strange words said here in Liverpool, so much so that apparently there is a scouse dictionary to help non residents:)

My ds says things are "sick" or " boss" and it drives me crazy.

smiles blame WATERgate, that's where it all started ;-)

personally I don't object to any of these "words" if used ironically by people who know better, and have been known to use a few myself...

...which reminds me that I can't BEAR the incorrect use of "yourself"...

that is all :-)

I haven't seen these on here yet

Facey B = Facebook

Morribobs = Morrisons

Maccy D's! How could I have forgotten that one!

Another one I've heard a lot around my area is, if someone askes you to teach them something, they ask you "Can you learn me that?" I'm aware this is probably just my general area but it's been pissing me off for years now.

I do use them, but not seriously.
The one that makes me is "Hun"

Hate "soz"... It's like "this apology is so insincere, I can't even be bothered to write out the full six letter word, so have a three letter bastardised slang abbreviation instead".

Also hate "lush" as in "Ellie Goulding is well lush" or "That pizza was totally lush mate"

Trouser. Knit = jumper! I had to buy Grazia recently, for research purposes.
"Team this on-trend pool slider with a glossy tight"... One shoe? One leg?

Haven't read entire thread yet.
Jamp. Boils my piss. It's JUMPED.

Macaroni and cheese is an Americanism. On my side of the pond, that's what the boxes say. Canadians call it Kraft Dinner.

All from my MIL- who is a really lovely person and we're close but she can be very annoying too (I'm sure she gets annoyed at my speech too, tbf).

She says strawbs. NO. THEY ARE STRAWBERRIES. And she also says bloobs for blueberries, raspbs for raspberries. She goes 'potates' and 'roasties'. She calls cuts etc ouchies - I don't even mean talking to a child, she was talking to me about her latest ouchie when she nearly broke a toe on a table leg. She likes saying 'om nom nom' or 'nom nom'. She calls bananas 'banans' and says totes and soz. She says 'spag Bol' which is an improvement as she used to say 'spag bog'.

I've seen people use "roasties." What is a roastie?

Roastie = roast potato! I don't mind that one :) I like strawbs too. I even like omnomnom!

(I guess I'm a fan of food related silliness but not totes, soz, amazeballs etc)

9 pages in.. am I the first with haters/haterz?

I can't stand "cuz" with reference to "cousin"
I'm pretty sure Shakespeare used that one. Which I think makes it obligatory for the rest of us.

I enjoy misusing a lot of these on purpose in front of my daughter and her friends. She's in on the clueless parent trope joke though. Because she's told me that she enjoys the fact that I'm down with the lingo. (Although she may have phrased it differently.)

Maybe we should go back to speaking Anglo-Saxon, then there would be no new words to complain about.

I hate "bung" as in let me just bung this pizza in the oven. FFS just say put the pizza in the oven.

Australia has awful slang though I can't say much as I live in NZ

Thanks to this thread I have just used "totes" on FB. Later I'll be going for "whatev" and perhaps a cheeky "LOL" or two.

Laterz, haterz!

The worst offender I've ever seen was a children's Bible which described the Good Samaritan 'fixing the man's owies'. While I understand that the full King James translation might be a bit much for the average five year old, 'dressed his wounds' isn't exactly problematic to explain.

Jiz means something completely different around here!

"I seen" when "I saw" is meant.

Conversations peppered with "obviously" and/or "literally" when what is being discussed is neither obvious nor literal. A recent example - I was listening to the radio. The presenter was talking about a face cream: "I mean obviously I'm a middle-aged woman. This cream literally melts wrinkles away"

NZ is like Aussie for many of the shortened words. I don't mind that too much, but one word I irrationally hate is "versing". As in, "our team is versing yours". If they win, they "bet" them. I know language is continually evolving (as my DCs are always telling me) but some of it makes my teeth itch.
Is versing used in the UK?

My DS also says "Can I haz food?" Like the lolcats thing- "Can I haz cheezburger?" NOOO!

smiles are you from the Midlands? Sounds Brummie to me - also "can you borrow me something?"

i don't know why but i hate the word ask. I just hate the way it sounds. I also hate lol but then i still use - so just annoy myself!!

i really hate all the hashtag business too!

Why am I being reminded of the Chalet's School's completely ridiculous and hypocritical - 'splasheries' anyone? rule against slang?

Not a word, but I dislike 'I was sat there...' You were sitting, surely.