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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Can we go to Pizza Express? Pizza Hut is a bit common and low quality"

281 replies

Edieandkoala · 26/08/2014 11:30

Says Ds friend to me just now. Apparently, his family 'don't do' Pizza Hut.

Wibu not to take the ungrateful git anywhere for lunch now?

First time he's been to our house. So far, I've been told how small it is, asked how much dh earns, asked if this is a council house and asked why we didn't wait to have baby dd until we had a bigger house.

Ds is mortified.

OP posts:
Greyhound · 26/08/2014 12:23

Vile though his behaviour is, the poor kid doesn't stand a chance with a stuck up, money obsessed mother like that...

Hoppinggreen · 26/08/2014 12:23

I don't like Pizza Hut, but I don't like rude little gobshites either.
I would tell him you are going to Pizza Hut but can drop him off on the way if he likes.
By the way, only people with a bit of money and no class behave like this - all the really wealthy people I know wouldn't dream of it!!!

Original poster
Edieandkoala · 26/08/2014 12:26

By the way, only people with a bit of money and no class behave like this - all the really wealthy people I know wouldn't dream of it!!!

How true that is!

OP posts:
finallydelurking · 26/08/2014 12:26

And yes I feel sorry for the child, if his mother doesn't manage his behaviour he well certainly be 'dealt with' by older children in a state comp!

Strawberrysummer · 26/08/2014 12:29

It is not even remotely a 'fair point' - I'd rather my child was taught manners than snobbery and good on the OPs son for recognising this.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 26/08/2014 12:29

I know someone whose teenage son went to a very posh school where the sons of the super-wealthy would refer to the other poorer (but very well off by anyone else's standards) pupils as "the chavs". The boys thought this was perfectly acceptable. Goodness knows what they thought of those further down the social scale...

Ev1lEdna · 26/08/2014 12:32

I know someone with a child like this. It is horrible and I'd be most angry with my kids if they were even half as rude as that boy at the ages of 7 - 10 never mind 12. I'd want to know about it too so I could have strong words with them (and remove electronic equipments for a while!) He also wouldn't be coming back to my house again - just like the child I mentioned above, once was enough.

whois · 26/08/2014 12:35

He's twelve? What a rude creature!

Take him home ASAP and don't invent a reason. Tell the parents what he has said. Hopefully they will be mortified.

Nothing wrong with Pizza Hut, food quality as good as pizza express (despite what all the aspirational middle class wannabes kid themselves)

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 26/08/2014 12:38

He sounds like my friends son who has autism. To others he seems incredibly rude but he can't help it.

Eg. "Softly have you brushed your hair today it's a right mess at the back" or to a cleaner at work " wow! You must have eaten loads at Christmas you look really fat! The list is endless

His family are wonderful people and tell him he was rude but it's just him. He is actually an amazing young boy. Could it be similar?

YouTheCat · 26/08/2014 12:40

Softly, from what the OP says about his mother, I'd say it's a case of him being badly brought up rather than on the spectrum.

KinkyDorito · 26/08/2014 12:44

He's going to have a great time at secondary with an attitude like that. Hmm He'll be one of those that tells the teacher they will get their mother to phone in and complain about the standard of education he is getting whilst all the other kids flick loom bands at him.

As an aside, I love Pizza Hut.

KinkyDorito · 26/08/2014 12:47

Softly they tend to parrot the kind of attitudes that they hear from parents. If he is on the spectrum then parents need to be told quite urgently so they can do some work on discretion. I know this as DD is Aspie and I have learned the hard way what to speak about in front of her. Grin

ArcheryAnnie · 26/08/2014 12:47

GhoulWithADragonTattoo this reminds me that George Osborne was allegedly known as "Oik Osborne" when he was a member of the Bullingdon Club, because he'd gone to the (extremely exclusive and expensive) St Paul's Boys School, and not Eton.

bishboschone · 26/08/2014 12:48

I agree about the autism thing as my sons friend is the same but it's the content which must have come from the parents. I mean you can almost hear them saying it and he has picked it up , it's just not a thing a child would say . My dd is 11 and has no idea about housing . She just knows a little about mortgages now because we are moving .

kentishgirl · 26/08/2014 12:49

'vulgar' is a great word to use with people like this. It's not judgy about income/class etc as 'common' can be interpreted. It means lacking in class and good manners, so it can apply to anyone.

I'd say to the mum that I'm dropping him off as he kept making rather vulgar comments about money, and you don't want DS to pick up that habit.

FryOneFatManic · 26/08/2014 12:49

I think this kid is seriously rude, and would never be welcomed back at my house.

And I prefer Pizza Hut over Pizza Express, my experiences at Pizza Express have been dire. Badly cooked overpriced crap.

finallydelurking · 26/08/2014 12:49

There's a massive difference between spectrum stating of facts 'It's not rude it's true and horrifically entitled behaviour the parents have never called them on (generally because they behave like that themselves). If he was on the spectrum would the mother not have told the op? Whenever I've hosted birthday parties the parents of any kid on the spectrum have always spoken to me beforehand and given me a heads up re what they may do/ it would be best I did/didn't do.

ilovehotsauce · 26/08/2014 12:50

He sounds like a rude little git! Send him home and go enjoy a nice lunch with your kids

offtoseethewizard64 · 26/08/2014 12:52

softly my DS is 'on the spectrum' and he would definitely have known not to voice an opinion like this in public at the age of 12. He hates McDonalds with a passion, but if someone he was out with suggested going there for lunch he would politely accept and be grateful. I think this boy is just very opinionated like his parents and I would send him home.
We used to have a neighbour whose youngest lad was the same age as DS and would call to come and play. He would ask questions about how much things cost - I didn't tell him. He would disappear off to play with DSs toys without DS being in the same room. I asked him one day if he wanted to play with DS or DSs toys. He, honestly, declared it was the toys! I showed him the front door and didn't let him in the house again. I hope I taught him a valuable lesson.

Original poster
Edieandkoala · 26/08/2014 12:52

He's not on the spectrum, if he was I'm sure his mum wouldn't be so patronising to parents who's children were (whole other thead!).

He's just rude! Right, getting them in the car now, he will never darken my door again!

OP posts:
Sunbury1986 · 26/08/2014 12:53

Sadly far too many kids around like this these days and it's the parents to blame. DS has loads in his year at school who are so obsessed with money and status that he has simply stopped mixing with them as a point of principle even though he can compete quite comfortably if he has too. He finds it really uncouth and thankfully seems to understand that wealth is not a measure of happiness. Most of the kids he has to stomach daily talking about how much their Dad earns etc etc he simply laughs at because they sound so desperate to impress others without developing their own personalities. Parents are too bothered about their kids being popular for "having stuff" as opposed to being someone with good social skills and a decent moral compass. That said if autism/aspergers is a factor then there is some scope for taking it less to heart. Safe to say secondary school will sort the child out if he is just simply obnoxious.

BarbarianMum · 26/08/2014 12:55

I don't know why people are always so sure that the rude things children say come from their parents (although that may be true in this case). By 12 I would think most children had mixed with a wide range of people and were capable of parroting back a whole load of opinions from all sorts of places. My kids certainly come up with a whole range of crap they've heard at school and they are only 6 and 8.

dawndonnaagain · 26/08/2014 12:56

It is the parents who are to blame, a number of whom can be seen on this very thread.

Pipbin · 26/08/2014 12:57

Imagine - from The North! I hear they have electricity up there and everything!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/08/2014 12:57

To be honest, I think you are doing him no favours by lying about why you are sending him home early, Edie. Even if his mum does not care, I still think you should say to her, and to him, that you are sending him home early because of his rudeness and bad manners.

She might not care about her son's rudeness per se, but she might care if it has resulted in him losing out on something - losing the rest of the day with your ds, and losing out on going out for pizza - plus she will have to deal with a child who is miffed/upset at being sent home early, and will have lost out on some alone-time for herself - maybe all that will make her see that her son's bad manners can and will have real negative consequences.

If there are no consequences - or, in this case, if she can't see that there have been negative consequences - why would she ever realise she needs to change his attitude and hers?