To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

[Darksideofthemoon88]

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

I've learned something on this thread. I didn't know that a thyroid disorder affects milk supply which means that there was a very good reason why I couldn't bf. It doesn't make any difference now as my DC are in their twenties but I'm grateful to MN for educating me!

The only time bottle feeding should ever be judged.

Oh but molly it makes sure they sleep through the night!

Awk, sure just a wee bit on the gums Moomin. :o

Glug glug.

I admire the honest responses on this thread but it's a shame that mini fingers words about culture got lost in people assuming she was judging. The NHS budget for bf support and promotion is a tiny fraction of what formula companies have to promote formula so I don't think we can underestimate the power these corporations have over our so called feeding choices.

Catherinemm 1. minifingers was judging. 2. the NHS prints a few posters. If doesn't actually support breastfeeding but it pays lip service to doing so. However that using actually the point of this thread.

Catherinemm, grown women simply don't like to be lectured.

From what I can see nothing was lost on other posters, people just need to stop preaching when it comes to breastfeeding as condescending attitudes get people nowhere.

"The power over our feeding choices" seriously.

I just started a thread of my own but to be honest I really admire those who have the guts to choose to ff in spite of such overwhelming pressure to ebf on demand, constantly.

DS bit me until I bled, every bf was screaming agony. I switched to formula on day three.

I don't live in.the Uk. It certainly wasn't a pathetic 'cultural' thing that made me swap. How fucking patronising.

And as for 'putting mother's needs before baby's' = feeding your baby is just that: feeding your baby. Putting your needs first would be going out on the lash and leaving newborn with a bag of wotsits.

I've only ever been questi oned about ff, by Dh's Irish aunt. I told her it was a private matter and none of her business. Nobody where here I live gives a flying

Some of the things she said may have been judgey but I think the main thrust was that she wanted to maje the point that our culture doesn't really support breastfeeding and I agree with that. This is a non judgemental comment - we are saying that lots of things about modern life, including the advertising of formula, can make breastfeeding very difficult.

I do believe that corporations have far too much power over our lives for many many things, not just baby feeding. In terms of baby feeding tho, all the ads for 6month+ milk 'for when you chose to move on' contributed to the numerous comments / questions around when I would switch to bottles when my son was around 6/7 months.

"Catherinemm, grown women simply don't like to be lectured."

Actually what I can see is that grown women don't like anyone raising concerns about the decline of breastfeeding as the normal way to feed babies, because they think nobody should ever question other people's lifestyle choices, even when these choices have implications for their children.

"From what I can see nothing was lost on other posters, people just need to stop preaching"

Expressing an opinion which is contrary to yours or to the status quo is not preaching.

After all, people come on these threads repeatedly stating that how a baby is fed doesn't matter and that the only thing that should concern anyone is that adults please themselves. Why is that not considered 'preaching'? It's certainly shouted loud enough and with strong overtones of self-righteousness.....

Elquint - if cultural pressures and cultural mores didn't impact on women's decisions relating to feeding you'd have similar drop out rates from breastfeeding across all ages, social groups, regions and ethnicities.

And you don't.

Asian, Chinese and African mothers are massively more likely than white English mothers to breastfeed and to breastfeed past 6 months.

Older women breastfeed for much longer.

Educated women breastfeed for much longer.

Mothers in the SE breastfeed for much longer.

There are huge and astonishing differences in the way in which different groups of women appear to cope with breastfeeding challenges.

And yes - we all know there are no hard and fast 'rules' about who breastfeeds and how long (waiting for some 40 year old African doctor to come on the thread and say she bottlefed from birth) but there are powerful trends which give lie to the vue that individual challenges with breastfeeding are the primary driver of feeding choices.

The 'cultural' thing regarding BFing is actually about women having a choice and deciding for themselves what is best. God forbid.

I am so tired of certain people making mothers out to be pawns in some game where corporations are rubbing their hands in glee at our ovine choices because we choose to FF (for whatever reason).

Tiny baby + inverted nipples = utter miserable failure. She never managed to latch on, poor thing. I think I cried constantly for an entire weekend before I resigned myself to ff. She's 8 now, a bit overweight and a very fussy eater, and I still feel guilty about the whole thing. But I tried everything and it just didn't work!

X post.

No, not preaching eh?

This thread was asking why people didn't BF, you are making it about why they should have.

Don't you see how that comes across?

I'm not convinced that advertising has much to do with the newborn formula market - at least not directly to new parents. We can't be the only family where DH was sent out to buy milk, bottles etc in a mad rush. He had no idea which to choose and went for the one that the pharmacy assistant said was most popular. DD was fine with it, so had it for a year. His choice wouldn't have been related to marketing as DH really wouldn't have seen any as he left baby research and daytime TV to me.

Actually what I can see is that grown women don't like anyone raising concerns about the decline of breastfeeding as the normal way to feed babies, because they think nobody should ever question other people's lifestyle choices, even when these choices have implications for their children.

I don't care about the decline of breastfeeding

And I will continue to not care until it can be proven that formula feeding has some sort of terrible effect on babies in the UK.

You mention 'implications' but you don't say what sort of 'implications' you mean?

This thread was asking why people didn't BF, you are making it about why they should have.

And that ^^ just about sums it up for me.

On another note, can you imagine the horror of becoming a DIL to a member of the breast feeding police?

I don't believe in God but if I did, I would pray that the poor first time Mum was strong enough to stick up for herself.

And that the Father would also stick up for her rights against his Mum too.

Worra, I hope I'm wrong but some people have actual bookmarked links saved in their browsers about the 'implications' for threads like these.

I know that sounds sarky as shite. but it is what it is.

The only "implications" I can see are that, in the UK, FF babies grow up to be equally as strong, healthy, loved, bright, intelligent, or troubled, unhealthy, overweight, poor-attention span, low IQ, emotionally neglected etc etc as BF babies.

And that's really the crux of it for me.

I bf (well, expressed at first as ds was tube fed) for 6 weeks until I was told to stop because of medication.

I didn't want to express or bf, I did it because I was told to at the hospital. I hated the sensation of it coming out and I hated feeling like public property to the hcp.

I was overjoyed to be told to stop and don't feel guilty about it.

My mum didn't want to feed any of us and told me that the doctors gave her tablets to 'make the milk stop'

I

Didn't

Stop

Breastfeeding

Because

Of

Cultural

Fucking

Reasons.

Did you actually read my post? Was my reason not good enough for you? Should I be grovelling for forgiveness from my son?

I am not a shit mother. But thanks for making me feel like one after 3 years.

My choices were:
Bf: couldn't
Ff: could
Let child starvfe: wouldn't

I don't judge how another woman feeds their child, but I do judge those who think they know best. I avoid them like the festering, putrid, bulbous Black.Plague.

Eep, this is why people should just stop reducing women into a pair of mammary glands as soon as they conceive.

Quinto, brush it off ma'love. :o

I fucking hate sanctimonious 'oh but think of the implications for the children' bullshit when we all know it's a really really thinly veiled attack from the smuggity-smug 'I did this and this makes me a better mum than you' brigade.

I had a vaginal birth, does that 'even out' the fact that I don't breastfeed? HOW and WHY have we turned birth and motherhood into some ridiculous pointscoring game?

And if you think that breastfeeding is all about priorities and sacrifices for your baby, say it rather than hiding your opinions behind 'Oh I'm just looking out for your babies' rubbish.