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Original poster

To hope that I can ask about FF without being shot down in flames?

999 replies

Darksideofthemoon88 · 23/08/2014 12:58

I'm interested in WHY people choose to FF if not for medical reasons (ie they can't because of medication they have to take, or because their baby was very premature and is unable to suckle) - I've seen a lot of threads where people assert that FF was best for them/their family/their baby or that they chose to FF without trying BF, and I'm curious as to why. Genuinely curious I'm not interested in fighting with anyone about what's best or right; I'd just like to read about why people FF because I honestly don't know. In the interests of full disclosure though (I know how MNs feel about this! Grin ), I am a breastfeeding mother.

OP posts:
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5toocoolforschool · 24/08/2014 21:28

I have 5 children,i ff the first from a few hours old,in short,it was through a lack of knowledge and support,same happened with 2nd baby,3rd i bf til about 6 months,4th i ff from 2 weeks as for some reason it bloody killed (again could of been fixed but partly through lack of support and also me just thinking @do i really want to fix this or should i just do the easy thing and give him a bottle so i can enjoy him and my other 3 kids ) this time i am bfing and my daughter is 9 months,am planning on doing it as long as we both want to.

I have to say i think its selfish for someone to say its MY choice or because i don’t want to is a reason because it doesn’t just affect you,it affects another human being,who happens to be your baby.

I also think its a shame when people say they don’t want to bf because they think its weird,its like they’ve been brainwashed by whoever in society to think breasts are sexual.

Breastmilk is not amazing,it is just normal,formula is an ok substitute nutritionally but it doesn’t give any of the enzymes and so on that bm does.I wish i had bf all my babies.

Saying all of that,in rl,i dont really care what anyone does and would never judge anyone for ff just because they wanted to! Grin

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 24/08/2014 21:34

5too "I have to say i think its selfish for someone to say its MY choice or because i don’t want to is a reason because it doesn’t just affect you,it affects another human being,who happens to be your baby"

Yes because all those of us who were formula fed are really feeling the effects of it years later.

WorraLiberty · 24/08/2014 21:36

I have to say i think its selfish for someone to say its MY choice or because i don’t want to is a reason because it doesn’t just affect you,it affects another human being,who happens to be your baby.

How was feeding my children a perfectly good nutritional substitute, because I wanted to, selfish?

My babies were fed, warm, loved and perfectly content. There's nothing selfish about that.

Saying all of that,in rl,i dont really care what anyone does and would never judge anyone for ff just because they wanted to!

But you just have, up there ^^. You know the part where you judged them to be selfish?

combust22 · 24/08/2014 21:38

Momin- I agree. My sister and I are suffering the effects of FF in the early days with many medical issues.

DeadCert · 24/08/2014 21:39

Silver, I actually think after your comment about losing weight through breastfeeding and your partner preferring you without make-up that you are being intentionally goading and intending to cause offence. It's actually quite sad how intent you seem to be on making yourself feel better by trying to make others feel shit. Fortunately, most of the people on here seem to have broad shoulders but I really hope you're less vile to people in real life. Shame on you if you're not.

I really, really hope when you're on your deathbed your last thought will be "at least I breastfed the children" and your superiority complex and selfless crusade with breastfeeding will have all been worthwhile. Meanwhile, us lesser FF mothers will just be hoping our morbidly obese, delinquent children can find it in their hearts to forgive us for feeding them powdered crack in their first six months.

I'm going to stop reading this thread now because you're annoying me.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 24/08/2014 21:42

I have many medical issues.

Strangely they all come from my dad, because it's a genetic disorder, and breast milk would've done nothing to change it.

hoobypickypicky · 24/08/2014 21:42

"I have to say i think its selfish for someone to say its MY choice or because i don’t want to is a reason"
"Saying all of that,in rl,i dont really care what anyone does and would never judge anyone for ff just because they wanted to!"

Well which is it 5too? Are you judging in considering FFs selfish or not?

I can't see what's selfish about choosing to offer a perfectly acceptable alternative to breast milk rather than opting to be in considerable pain, discomfort and misery but each to their own I suppose.

hollie84 · 24/08/2014 21:42

I have to say i think its selfish for someone to say its MY choice or because i don’t want to is a reason because it doesn’t just affect you,it affects another human being,who happens to be your baby.

But that's exactly what you did Confused Are you saying you were selfish to formula feed your children?

Tricycletops · 24/08/2014 21:43

Yes because all those of us who were formula fed are really feeling the effects of it years later.

I was FF. I have one degree from Oxford. DH was BF. He has two.

BF babies are twice as clever!

zeezeek · 24/08/2014 21:57

I had no intention of BF. I hated the mere thought of it and still do.

I also quite like the idea of my breasts being associated with sex. I don't see a problem with enjoying your body for sexual pleasure. However, that's got nothing to do with why I didn't want to BF. I just don't want a baby feeding off me.

It was also more convenient because it meant that I could go back to work after 3 months and so my DH could do (the majority of the night feeds). I lost part of a leg many years ago and I take off the false one at night - so whichever method of feeding was always going to cause problems at night, but FF was more convenient to both of us.

I'm also a scientist and am well aware of research methods and how to interpret research. I, personally, made the decision that if there are any major benefits then they are so small, in the great scheme of things, as to not be worthwhile doing for me.

Like all FF babies, my DDs are happy, energetic, healthy girls who have close bonds to both of their parents.

rosemaryfuchsia · 24/08/2014 22:01

Zeezeek, you took the words right out of my mouth.
Watch out though, mini will be back soon to rubbish your interpretation of the research.

rosemaryfuchsia · 24/08/2014 22:01

not that this is what the thread is about- sorry for derailing...

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 24/08/2014 22:06

I breastfeed, not for my baby's benefit but for mine because like Devere formula feeding seems like a massive hassle to me. I bloody hate washing up.

Bfing baby #1 was lovely. Curled up on the sofa all winter watching box sets and having milky cuddles and eating biscuits in the misguided belief that I would lose all the weight because of the magic feeding (I didn't. I fed for 14 months, stopped and immediately dropped three stone in four months). Bfing baby #2 is distinctly less magical with a 3yo who only ever wants a poo when the baby latches on, the 5am feed followed by the 6am toddler wake-up time just as I've drifted back off...It's shit a lot of the time and I'm planning to introduce some formula - for DH to feed him so that I can have a break.

I've re-read the OP a few times and I don't really get it. I understand why women ff, it's because we live in a society that makes breastfeeding a difficult option. You need a lot of support and help around you to be 24/7 life support to a very demanding tiny person and we live in a culture that makes a lot of other demands on us. A lot of support and knowledge has been eroded. Expecting women to carry on like they would have done traditionally in a different world with different expectations isn't fair. There are many horrendous things that formula companies have done and that's abhorrent. But women using formula is not.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/08/2014 22:09

Good on you zeezeek, yes the bf Police will be after you

bearfrills · 24/08/2014 22:09

Update on my BF vs FF children. The FF children are still fast asleep, although DD woke up briefly to ask for a wee (won't use the flaming toilet during the day but will wake up at nearly 10pm to ask that we remove her nappy so she can go try one). The BF baby has pulled a muslin over his eyes and can't figure out how to remove it even though he has hold of it with both hands.

So far I'm not sold on the intelligence boosting effects of BF.

ithoughtofitfirst · 24/08/2014 22:11

tricycle Grin MATHS.

5toocoolforschool · 24/08/2014 22:16

What i am saying (but obviously didn’t say it well enough as i contradicted myself) is that i do think its selfish to ff just because its more convenient for you,BUT i would never say that to anyone in rl as i wouldn’t want to upset them,and in the grand scheme of things its not something im bothered about in a friend!BUt this is a thread about that subject and that’s my opinion, but im not the kind of person to go around telling people they shouldn’t ff!

I wasn’t saying i was selfish to ff, i wanted to bf but stupidly listened to all the rubbish mws and my own mother tell me i shouldn’t/couldn’t.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/08/2014 22:17

Jelly you have hit the nail on the head, totally agree with you.

5toocoolforschool · 24/08/2014 22:19

In terms of health,and bf v ff,the way i see it (from what i have read and just the feeling i get) is that really its mostly down to genetics,you can get sickly bf babies,you can get robust ff babies (My ff babies are as healthy as my bf babies touchwood)but in theory it would be ideal if all babies were bf.Surely the babies who are a bit sickly (allergies,eczema,always getting colds etc) would be even worse off if they were ff?

zeezeek · 24/08/2014 22:19

Aeroflotgirl - they can knock on my door all they like - not back in UK until the end of next week Wink

LittleBearPad · 24/08/2014 22:33

Oh 5too so actually you judge people for being selfish but just don't say anything. Not sure that makes it ok

hollie84 · 24/08/2014 22:34

5toocool - you said you did the easy thing as gave a bottle, I think that makes you just as selfish as the women you are judging.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/08/2014 22:47

Zeezeek they will come with batons battering your door down Grin

Pico2 · 24/08/2014 22:56

It feels sometimes like there is a "faith" element to some of the very hard line pro breastfeeders.

SlatternLovesLots · 24/08/2014 22:58

I never wanted to BF, and didn't. It didn't occur to me that anyone would be remotely interested in my decision.

For me it was a gut feeling. I expected that I might waiver in my feeling when I read the literature whilst pregnant. But I didn't, in fact it made me even more certain I didn't want to do it. I told DH that I didn't want to, expecting him to be disappointed, but he too felt it wasn't the right thing for me to do.

Both my DC's are below 10 so I cannot comment on long term health but so far they have had the normal childhood illnesses. Certainly nothing more.

The one thing I had absolutely no appreciation for prior to becoming a mother is the guilt that is heaped on every mother from all angles, we can't win no matter what we do. So please give ourselves a break and stop judging others for choosing different options to yourself. Other choices are not necessarily wrong, just different.