Was I being a cow or not?????

[Fairyfellowsmasterstroke]

I was in town earlier when I popped to the loo in Debenhams.

When I walked in a young chav mum was sanding near the sink area talking on her phone (her side of the conversation featured such immortal lines as " yeah but, fucking bitch, I'll have her, cunt etc etc). I kid you not a docker would have blushed!!!

Her DC looked about 2 and was sat quietly in the pushchair.

Anyhow I went to the loo (whilst listening to every word and profanity that young mum was uttering - including the "c" word being used with astounding regularity).

After weeing visiting the toilet I shimmed past aforesaid young mum (who was now perched on a sink with one foot resting on the pushchair) to wash my hands. I was about to dry them in the "Blade air dryer" when she stopped her phone conversation and asked me to wait because her DC didn't like the noise.

Fair enough I thought, expecting young mum to vacate the toilet. But no she carried on her phone call berating some poor lad who was fucking with her 'ead, clearly causing her some degree of upset.

I waited a moment and then asked her if she was going so that I could dry my hands, she told me to "wait". I did wait for a few moments (out of respect to Dc not her) but she remained perched on the sink with the phone attached to her ear. I finally looked pointedly at her, she half turned away from me and carried on the phone call. At this point I shoved my hands in the dryer causing poor DC to scream - chav mum snatched up the pushchair and stormed out of the toilets calling me a cow.

I stand by my actions but am expecting a MN flaming!!!

RiverTam - I love your response, wish I'd have thought of it!!!

TBH I did feel a bit mean as I caused the child to cry but in response to the poster who suggested that I dry my hands on my coat - NO WAY!!! It was a public toilet, I was prepared to be reasonable but clearly she wasn't.

She sounds like a nasty piece of work, but the use of 'chav' was completely unnecessary - as you know or you wouldn't have crossed it out.

I also think that if you were that concerned about the child you wouldn't have shoved your hands in the dryer if you knew that would upset him.

You could have called her out on her language, but you didn't.

Passive aggressive behaviour is childish, sorry.

Why should the OP have had to use tissue to dry her hands? That other woman was the one being unreasonable. Why should she be allowed to get away with being inconsiderate to other people?

OP gave her ample chance to exit the loos! YANBU..... in ANY aspect of what you did

YANBU, if her child's handdryer phobia was that much of an issue she could have used the separate family toilet with it's own self contained sink etc that every Debenhams' I've been in has had instead of barking orders at others while taking her sweet time to piss of out of the vicinity of the handdryer.

I'd love to know how using a public hand dryer in a public toilet is Passive aggressive behaviour as per Whiskwarrior!!!

I was in a toilet are not a phone booth/chat room!!!

The mothers whole attitude made me wonder about the future for that child - it's going to be raised in an atmosphere where foul/aggressive language is the norm.

YWNBU

My child is scared of the hand driers. We wash our hands and leave the loos as quickly as possible. I don't expect random members of the public to dry their hands on their clothes while I piss about having long conversations on my phone

YANBU She should have left the toilets asap if she was that concerned about her child.

Ignoring everything else, no fucking way on gods green earth would I wipe my hands on my own clothes so someone could carry on talking on their phone!

Nor would I.

I would wipe them on my clothes so the child didn't burst into tears. His mum obviously couldn't care less, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't.

Having said that, it doesn't mean the OP was in the wrong.

I may have thought "take your child out then" but who wants a mouthfull of foul abuse. was there no one else around?

Personally I wouldn't have used the hand dryer and scared the child.

No, of course you shouldn't have to use a tissue or your coat as it's a public toilet but it's not the childs fault their mum isn't considerate.

I have a 2.5yo scared of hand dryers and I would have done the same as you... I leave public toilets ASAP with my DD and shake / dry with paper / on my trousers and wouldn't hang around chatting away...

Poor child for having that mum, not because of you...

(but i have to admit I was eternally grateful to the lady the other day who waited to dry her hands while I whisked my DD away after hearing her say "i dont want the dryer"

Yes she was an obnoxious twat...but don't give it any more head space.
You might get flamed alive for your powers of description there though.
Good luck.

alemci - when I walked into the loo another lady was leaving (and when I think back I hadn't heard the dryer so maybe she agreed to not dry her hands , not really sure).

It was only 9.15ish so no-one else in the loo.

Op not in the wrong.

But I don't particularly like the use of 'chav' 'young mum' and attempts to repeat the woman's accent. It smacks of snobbery.

Yes op you are right to be concerned about the impact on the child. In that particular circumstance I'm not sure there was anything you could have said or done to either call the woman on her language or support her to parent/ behave more appropriately. It's highly likely that woman is under a great deal of stress for any number of reasons. Perhaps you might consider volunteering with a local charity that supports disadvantaged families?

Not a sarcastic suggestion.

Drying your hands is passive aggressive now! Hahaa!

You did nothing wrong, that woman behaved dreadfully.
As usual the hand-wringing apologists quickly surface to blame the victim because it makes THEM feel better. If they get irate at you for daring to use the word chav they don't have to think about the issue at hand. The issue being that some people are tw*ts, haven't been brought up properly and unfortunately we all have to put up with them. Simple as. If they get called a chav that is the least of anyone's worries.

Victim?

I think in an ideal world (though it blatantly never would actually happen because it would have riled me too and I'd have done the same as you), at the point where you gave her the hard stare and she turned away, I would have said "Excuse me. Obviously I don't mind waiting for you to take your child out if he's scared of the dryer, but I'm not prepared to wait while you finish your phone conversation I'm afraid. Can you take your child out now, please, otherwise I will have to get on and dry my hands anyway".

You might well only have got a mouthful of abuse for your trouble though.

Pictish - bugger off, you've mad me snort - I didn't mean it like that!

I just had visions of OP looking pointedly at the Mum while she shoved her hands in the dryer!

Perhaps you might consider volunteering with a local charity that supports disadvantaged families?

Regardless of anyone's social status common decent standards are not out of reach. Using the "c" word in front of a child cannot be acceptable to anyone.

No, Pictish, you have to be drying them while giving me a very direct and stern look over your shoulder.

Some public loos don't have paper towels available, so that might not be relevant and I wouldn't have dried my hands on my coat either.

You were not being a cow; she should have left the loos with her child and her phone.

Actually by setting the child screaming you probably did him a service - at least he didn't have to listen to his mother using foul language any longer!

I wouldn't have even waited... it is a public loo, why shouldn't you dry your hands. If her DS was that sensitive she could have been in and out of there in the time it had taken you to use the loo.