to think that a pessimistic attitude can affect fertility and IVF outcomes [title edited by mnhq]

[crashbandicoot]

ok this is a provocative title but so many books advocate a mind/body approach, particularly with unexplained IF that I am wondering if my negative thinking "nothing is going to work" is the reason behind my IF? this really concerns me because I thought naively that sex=conception but now it seems my personality/outlook is all wrong!!

based on this I am thinking that I need to have a completely different personality (ie become an optimist rather than a pessimist) if I am ever have a dc - which seems too difficult for me to do.

so in order to understand this better can any pessimists/optimists share their experience and if they felt it hindered or helped them in relation to fertility/IF as the whole issue is so loaded with myths etc...

OP I think you've made a poor choice of thread title and it might be a good thing if it could be changed

I don't believe any illness or disease is all in the mind - even mental illness has been shown to have a physical cause.

If infertility is all in the mind, then how come people get pregnant in all kinds of dire situations? Kind of a bit like that american twat of a politician who said that pregnancy from rape was impossible.

thanks morrigu

What an awful thread.

I think its human nature to want to find answers to unexplained fertility. We do hear anecdotal stories about people trying for years then just after they adopt/give up suddenly find themselves pregnant and its attributed to them 'relaxing' but I,m sure theres thousands in the same situation who don't get pregnant, but we dont hear about them, so the anecdotes seem plausible.
It certainly wont harm your chances if you try relaxation techniques/positive outlook etc but then conversely it might not actual increase them
I would be concerned if someone was trying to peddle this to you and making money off the back of it. I,m also concerned like others that its potentially another thing to beat yourself up over.

How do you get a title changed? Anyone?

I, and two good friends, have both become pregnant after being told there was very little hope of a natural pregnancy and accepting infertility.
The consultant I saw regarding my condition advised that people should never 'try' for a baby in a regimented way, and having regular enjoyable sex was healthier physically and psychologically.
However, I appreciate that this is highly unusual and completely irrelevant to other conditions and circumstances

Horrible thread, stupid proposition.

Our bodies are complex things, as are our minds.

I think if you ask enough people you will find anecdotal 'evidence' that some people conceived when they stopped thinking about it and usually because something else became the focus (like having visitors to stay as he poster above said) rather than just 'trying not to think about it'.

I know quite a few people who 'gave up trying' then got pregnant - iso t would seem that 'relaxing/giving up' enabled them to become pregnant. More likely it's just it happened on the 765,481st time they had sex, so there's nothing to say those self same people wouldn't have got pregnant when they did, even if they had continued to focus solely on getting pregnant as some people get pregnant when they do keep focusing on it and stressing about it.

On the other hand, I do think that (in life in general) having a goal and a plan of how to get there do help you to achieve things as does a more positive outlook on life'. The whole 'Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't - you're right' Henry Ford quote. So maybe there is an element of positive thinking that will help your body to be in the best possible condition for becoming pregnant. Stress can stop us getting our periods after all. It wont help you if you are genuinely infertile for a medical reason, but it might help if they aren't sure what's causing it or in a small number of people where their level of stress is affecting their hormone levels.

I am sure though, when you aren't conceiving, you just want to kill anyone who says 'Just relax and be positive about it' and frankly, I'd hold them down for you x

So how exactly would I go about getting a mind transplant then? I wonder if that's what's stopping me when I ttc.

Fucking load of shit.

I don't think the thread title is good, and maybe you should ask for it to be changed.

I think what you're asking is more along the lines of, "Could some unexplained fertility be the result of stress/negativity/pessimism around ttc?"

I think it's a valid question, as we don't know a lot about all the factors that may go into infertility, or indeed all the effects of stress. It's not unreasonable to wonder if this could be a cause in some instances, and the fact that almost everyone seems to have a story of someone they knew who conceived just when they'd given up and stopped trying, suggests that maybe it's a factor in some small percentage of cases of unexplained fertility. It's horribly insensitive to suggest to someone "Maybe you can't conceive because X" or "You should just try Y". But I don't think there's anything wrong in wondering the effects of stress/negativity on fertility.

Good luck on your journey, OP.

I am going to ignore the posters who don't understand that I Am not peddling the idea.. I am asking if we can COLLECTIVELY DISCUSS it's validity. . BECAUSE IT IS ALREADY OUT THERE and I personally am struggling.with it.

crashbandicoot, you can self report your thread and ask for a title change I think

Oh, to get it changed, you have to report your own first post, and ask MNHQ to change it.

If you would like the title changed, report your thread to MNHQ (click "Report" in the bar above your OP).

we have discussed its validity - it has none.

OP - report your original post to MNHQ, and explain that you want the title changed. They're pretty good at sorting things like this out.

thanks Nancy glad it's settled then.

I do think there is a degree of "all in the mind" when stress plays a part - I'm sure we all know people who conceived when they stopped trying so hard & went on holiday, got pissed, climbed up cliffs, rode scooters without helmets etc etc. Me for example.

Of course if there's a real physical fertility problem, then no amount of wishful thinking is going to help.

Not a great title here OP, I came on ready to hack you to death with blunt scissors.
If I had a £ for every time some well meaning arsehole told me that we just needed to relax and then it would magically happen then i'd be living somewhere a lot nicer (Barbados?). Just relaxing absolutely wouldn't have helped my dh have the tube that was missing now, would it?

I know you want helpful advice here, but putting masses of Mnetters in a bad mood is not going to help your cause.
HTH.

Nothing to do with how "positive" you are at all. Are you referring to the law of attraction? I do believe in that but fertility is such a complex issue certain cases come down to science and hard facts.

Do you know that you are infertile?

Have you been to your gyn to be checked out, had your tests done? I went on day 3 to be tested for FSH, LH, TSH, Prolactin, Estradiol & Testosterone.

Having been previously very ignorant about ttc and fertility etc. I bought TCOYF, researched for hours and hours on the net etc and was like at my lack of knowledge.

Having never been pregnant before I was a bit concerned about my fertility (being 35) but then we conceived naturally in March this year which ended in a mmc at 12 weeks. Still shuddering from the heartbreak of it all.

Left now hoping to be able to conceive again but over-shadowed with the thought that I may never be able to carry a baby to term.

Gobblers that is it for me, it is the sheer lack of control I have over the whole thing, freaks me out.

OP I think that the advice 'to relax' is to do with managing your feelings about infertility.

I understand that this idea is already out there,I don't think anyone is saying that it's the first time they've heard it. Why do you want to know?

There are hundreds of questions to ask which may help you,for instance asking people about their experience of ivf- which will be many and varied. I can recommend a good book to do with coming to terms with infertility,if you are at that stage.

In what way do you think you will be helped by asking this question?

There will be lots of anecdotes about people who'd been ttc for 'ages' and then did conceive on holiday or when they were out of their usual routine etc. Hell I can name at least 2 friends that happened to.

Thing is that maybe relaxing wasn't the only difference. Maybe they were doing something else differently. Maybe stress makes infertility worse. Unless you know what else varied you cannot say what made the difference.

And physical problems like fibroids or blockages won't be magically cured by a bit of whale music and a jaunty smile.

OP if you want your thread title changed just report your own first post to MN and ask for it to be changed to something less provocative.

FWIW I think I know what you are trying to say (albeit clumsily). In the case of unexplained infertility I have heard anecdotal evidence that a lot of couples try and try for a baby, then finally get a referral for IVF - and then get their BFP while waiting for the appointment. This has happened to two women I know and when they phoned the clinic to cancel their appointments the receptionist laughed and said that happens all the time. Her theory was that there was a stress element to it. Of course another way of looking at it is that the law of averages dictates that couples with no fertility issues will get their BFP eventually and the timing was a pure coincidence.

Obviously where there are physical issues all the crystals, acupuncture and positive thinking in the world aren't going to make a speck of difference.