to think parents should make room for adults by getting their kids to sit on their laps.

[Bouttimeforwine]

I have always done this, in waiting rooms, on buses, anywhere really. Even till they were too big really to be sitting on laps. Even now I will get them to sit on the floor at friends houses so that adults get the chairs. It's polite and the way I was brought up.

I often see children taking up a space, when it would be easy just to pop them on your knee for a short period of time. I know for a fact that some of these parents have no physical reason not to do this. They just think that their child has as much right as an adult to have that seat. True but it's not good manners is it?

AIBU?

Entitlement = a healthy, unfettered adult thinking a child should give up their seat because adults are the priority.

Ageism = an adult who considers any child who does not scamper off their seat for them a spoilt brat

Me too silly

The fact an able bodied adult would expect and take say a six/seven yr olds seat for the mere crime of being a child is disgusting.

I've always given my seat up for elderly people or disabled or pregnant and small children. And my children will do the same. But right now it's not safe to do so.

Koala having read woozle's post, I have to say that I commute into London every day using tube / train and would never expect a child to stand for me, quite the reverse if the child was under about 8 or 10 (depending on size).

It is not common courtesy it is friggin dangerous and I would be very unimpressed at someone accepting a seat from young child/ren and would pop out of mine (if I had one) to get them to sit down again before they got crushed / an elbow in their face / separated from their parent.

The op isnt expecting toddlers to stand nobody wants children tonget hurt but itvwouldnt hurt if your small person budged up and gave somebody a seat btw I dont tut if kids dont move or whatever I just think its a nice thing to do.

Or a younger, giles.

Upthread saying that 4yo should be standing on packed tubes.

I don't get it and thankfully this is not what happens in real life at all. I have never seen anyone make a 4yo stand for them, people do not expect young children to give up their seats, in fact people stand more readily for little ones than pregnant women etc as they are so obviously vulnerable.

I mean it was scary enough commuting when heavily PG as people couldn't see the bump and just saw a gap in front of me and pushed as hard as they could.

Children who are under about waist height - it's very scary for them and they often can't reach to hold onto anything as the things are all high up and the poles are spaced out.

My kids often end up three to a seat with a random little kid who got on. Much safer for the kids to sit down. I'll stand thanks

An offer of anything is just a kind thing to do and would make the receiving adult think how well brought up the child was.

I would think the parent was a total arse who puts an (what appears to be) able bodied and fit adult before their own child. Manners and putting total strangers before my own children are not the same thing. My children would never put their feet on public transport seats, they would never jump up and down on public transport, they would never sprawl out and take up more space than they need. They would stand for somebody who is unstable on their feet or appears to need a seat for any kind of physical problem (although in reality I would stand and give up my seat because it is safer). They always say please and thank you and they always use their manners when appropriate. People often remark on how well behaved and well mannered my children are but perhaps that is because we don't take the bus with people who think their own importance trumps my children's. I have been on a bus with a child in a wheelchair who people wouldn't move for so there is no way my children will give up their seat for able bodied people.

Missunreasonable Completely agree with everything you've said.

Yes yes, totally agree with fixitupchappie.

I haven't seen anyone on this thread saying that tiny children should be made to stand and be crushed underfoot by their elders and betters.

I have seen people say it wouldn't hurt for parents to have tiny children sit on their knees, or to have older children and teens stand.

In total agreement with missunreasonable

Of think anyone who let their four yr old stand up on a tube to let me sit down was an irresponsible selfish and stupid arse who cares more what others think than their own child.

I'd

That's right, ArcheryAnnie. But the thread has entered full-blown hyperbole territory at this point, so I think that'll fall on deaf ears!

Theoretically I agree, however, when I am on the tube with my 4dcs aged 2-7, standing is just not safe enough. They are small, they don't really get the concept of holding on. Same goes for buses really. It's just not safe for them to stand, ESP when crowded. I do get mine to share or sit on my knee, and clearly we move for elderly or pregnant.

Also, my oldest suffers from arthritis in her ankles. No one would see this, but if she falls, she is in AGONY!

I believe I give up my seat for people who need it more than me because I was taught to do so as a child.
That is why I teach my children to do the same.
I have 4 DC and we can manage to take up only three seats. If it is really busy me and my two big DC would stand and my two little ones would share a seat.

What really annoys me is when an adult has a small child on their knee but swiftly plonks them on the seat next to them whenever anyone is looking to sit down.

I totally agree if its a short journey but more than half hr I think they should have own seat.

DD who is 4 is perfectly capable of standing on a crowded tube train without falling or getting whacked, I keep an eye on her and she's fine. She did it this week, in fact (she said she would rather stand than sit on my knee). I don't think she's anything out of the ordinary in this respect, but maybe she is. She knows to stand facing me in front or to the side of me (or facing into me if I'm standing too) so she won't get whacked, and to hang on tight to the pole. She hasn't got as far to fall as an adult should there be a sudden jolt. I don't get why it's not safe

Here

Oh FFS. Mostly, your child is either small enough to sit on your lap, or big enough to stand. There are exceptions, but that's pretty much it. It's not rocket science; it's been considered common sense for decades. Why does everyone take everything to extremes on this site??

(That wasn't at Giles, btw!)

I agree with the sitting on knee bit. If they are old enough to hold on safely then its also fine for them to stand. Mine like standing. They !ike the challenge of the breaking.

Oh FFS. Mostly, your child is either small enough to sit on your lap, or big enough to stand.

My child is big enough to stand but that doesn't mean that he should. Some random able bodied strangers desire to have a seat doesn't trump my child's desire to have a seat.
I really can't figure out what kind of person decides that a fit able bodied adult is more deserving of a seat than their own child.

Oh goody a good old MN transport thread, I was missing the last one. Will come back later and get stuck in

Not just about transport.

Just seats in general. What about the dentists waiting room for example?