to think parents should make room for adults by getting their kids to sit on their laps.

[Bouttimeforwine]

I have always done this, in waiting rooms, on buses, anywhere really. Even till they were too big really to be sitting on laps. Even now I will get them to sit on the floor at friends houses so that adults get the chairs. It's polite and the way I was brought up.

I often see children taking up a space, when it would be easy just to pop them on your knee for a short period of time. I know for a fact that some of these parents have no physical reason not to do this. They just think that their child has as much right as an adult to have that seat. True but it's not good manners is it?

AIBU?

ah right, I'm talking about tubes and trains in the main, I rarely travel by bus with DD when it's busy. Though if the bus drivers are that bad, I presume you're contacting the company to report them, if they're flinging the passengers around (I would, but I'm like that).

I've seen people go flying on buses that brake suddenly... elderly people who have had to stand whilst 'little Johnny' gets to sit in a priority seat. Though I say 'sit', it was more more 'wriggle, stand on seat, poke person behind' really. 'Little Johnny' was plenty small enough to sit on a knee as well.

Trains are different. If you've booked a seat in advance the chances are (for long journeys at least) that you'll have an allocated seat.

And yes the floors on our trains are rank. Your feet generally stick to them. I shudder to think what is actually on them

As an adult who often has a long commute on the Tube I don't automatically assume that a child should give up their seat for me. Often busy tubes are dangerous for younger children as they don't have the balance and get easily pushed and shoved in the scrum to get off. I have witnessed kids getting separated from parents so I always give up my seat to anybody trying to make a journey with young kids in tow.

It's about having compassion for people regardless of age and nobody should feel entitled to a seat at the expense of somebody else. We only have a tiny snapshot of a situation when travelling on public transport so unless it is somebody obviously frail or pregnant we should reserve judgement on who needs the seat the most. I was on a similar thread like this some months ago and was told that even though my DS (5) was wheezing and having an asthmatic like episode he should have given up his seat on the tube for a 20 something woman who complained loudly at the fact he was taking up a seat

Mum, I see now! IME though a lot of children are actively keen to sit down on the floor on a train or bus. In fact, I can remember being like that myself as a child.

CSI, that's very different. At the circus/theatre/cinema of course your child is entitled to their seat:you've paid for it. On public transport (for day-to-day journeys anyway, not booked-for ones) you've only paid to get on the bus or train, not for a seat per se.

Baking, that's why people need a bit of compassion and a bit of common sense. Sadly lacking in a lot of folk though.

depends how long for. On a warm day I don't want my 3 stone 6yo on my lap for 30 minutes. Every situation is different so I don't think a blanket statement works.

My kids have 'gone flying' on buses too. They learnt to hold on tighter.

They've also fallen out of trees/off of climbing frames and tripped over whilst running.

That's life.

Mine might like to sit there but know they are not allowed, I'm not some big germ freak but it's really dirty

Doesn't help that the bit with space for prams where I attempt to sit is next to the toilet which generally stinks. Makes the whole carriage seem filthier than it probably is

Both DH and I were brought up to be respectful to our elders, whatever that entailed. If it meant being sat on someone's knee, so be it. We survived. In fact, the whole 'respect to elders' thing has gone so far as to become something of a joke in DH's family as his 'baby' brother, aged 22, is still expected to give up his seat/make the tea etc for his elders, which includes me He does so without being prompted - he has lovely manners. It's nice to get the comfy seat/have tea brought to you, but it makes me feel old...

I always give up my seat for little kids actually. As a well, healthy woman (even if I am over 30) who does "a hard day's work", I wouldn't make a little kid stand so I could sit down! Just doesn't seem right. Oh and my grandad brought me up to have manners.

The joy of becoming an old and crotchety "retired" teacher is that I no longer have to be polite to people who patently don't deserve it.

I'm actually working and earning almost as much as I did before I retired because behaviour in schools has reached a new low. There are a lot of children with specific problems and difficulties which makes life very hard for them and they need all the help and support they can get.

There are others who are the offspring of lazy parents who have never bothered to teach them good manners or acceptable behaviour. They also need help and support but it's so much harder when their parents think there's nothing wrong with them.

Yabvu

Pregnant, disabled and injured people are usually in need of a seat on buses, waiting rooms etc, nobody else NEEDS one, and is therefore first come first served on any unoccupied seats.

I wouldn't say a fit and healthy adult should have more right over a child in this case, if anything a particularly young child may need a seat more on a bus to avoid falling during any sudden movements.

I would always teach my child to give up a seat for somebody struggling, but would be disgusted if they were approached to give up their seat purely because they are a child.

A child fare is still a fare, they have still been paid for. They don't control the prices...

I would actually tend to give me seat to a child if I saw they had to stand, especially if they're young, as I assume they're more likely to get tired than I am.

From being quite small dd would always offer to stand or sit on my knee for an adult. At 12y she wouldn't dream if not offering her seat to someone.

I would always offer my seat to anyone I thought needed it more than me too. I have arthritis but I still offer if they look less able to stand (elderly, mum with young child, disabled, unsteady etc) than I am, even though to do so can be a bit sore for me. I just think it's polite.

But also I'm not very good at asking to sit if I need a chair myself. Some days I really do need a seat so ought to get more confident about that aspect really. It's probably quite noticeable tbh if I'm limping or whatever but I guess most people don't really look out for it and it does feel hard to ask.

As a child I remember the buses (which I used regularly both with my parents and without) had signs that children travelling on a half fare should vacate their seats in favour of adults who had paid full fare and children who travelled free (under 5s) must be on laps.

Now I travel regularly by tube and bus in London where all children travel for free and frankly it is a bit annoying when you see seats are taken up by kids who are either young enough to be on a lap or old enough to stand when you pay a kings ransom annually for the privilege of the travel.

How times have changed. There was a time - still lingering on in some of us - when children took second place to adults. It's not that adults are any better but it taught children that adults were to be respected and offered seats or help of any sort. Rights, rights, rights again.

HeySoulSister Yes, delicate little flowers whatever gender.

I see some Jeremy Kyle type my rights, my rights Mumsnetters here. Adults do not have to be elderly or infirm to be offered something. An offer of anything is just a kind thing to do and would make the receiving adult think how well brought up the child was.

PS a boy of about 7 offered to put my token in a supermarket trolley yesterday. Of course, I let him!

What on earth is a Jeremy Kyle type Mumsnetter?

I don't watch it so not a clue what one would entail.

Who are these poor little children who get so tired?! I have a 5 & 6 yr old and they don't seem to suffer this affliction til bedtime!!!

Do some of these children need more fresh air and exercise to build up their stamina so they can cope with standing?!?

Who are these poor little children who get so tired?! I have a 5 & 6 yr old and they don't seem to suffer this affliction til bedtime!!

And who are these selfish able bodies adults who would take a seat from a small child and watch them get thrown about a bus/have feet trodden on/whacked in face with back packs. And expect it jute cause they are a bit older thante child on question.

I've always given my seat to small children because I could not sit there and watch some poor mum try and hold onto her children and the pole at the same time.

I see some Jeremy Kyle type my rights, my rights Mumsnetters here. Adults do not have to be elderly or infirm to be offered something. An offer of anything is just a kind thing to do and would make the receiving adult think how well brought up the child was.

Do you actually believe the drivel you've just written?