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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to go to the cinema on DD's 1st day of P1

140 replies

CycleChic · 14/08/2014 11:57

She's an only child, and DH and I really want to see this film before he gets a spoiler. We have signed her up for the after school club and if I weren't still fucking unemployed had to work that day, I wouldn't think twice about using it. DH has taken the day off and we've tried several other options for childcare at the weekends/evenings without any luck.

So... aaibu to just use the childcare we are paying for?

OP posts:
Sootgremlin · 14/08/2014 15:04

Maybe that's the relationship you have with your children, giles, but don't project it onto other people. Some people enjoy seeing their children and hearing their 'news'. If my ds has been doing something new and hasn't seen me all day, he's excited to see me even if he's tired and a bit quiet, and will still blurt out something that happened to him.

It doesn't matter whether it's fascinating to me or not! You're there for them for things like that because it's a big deal for them, even if they don't know how to express it, and they might need you just to be there. It's a little milestone for the parent too, to have reached that stage. I'd miss him and be thinking about him.

I'd have to have a good reason for missing it (labour, or paying the bills being good reasons!) and I'm glad not to be so jaded or uncaring about such things.

What's the point in anything being made special in life if you take that attitude when they are so little and new to it all?

Original poster
CycleChic · 14/08/2014 15:05

Thanks again everyone for your opinions Thanks
especially those who told me to go and have fun.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 14/08/2014 15:18

But then it's not always a big deal for them is it?

My dd had out grown pre school months before she started school and was very much one of the oldest there and in school when she started.

She was excited the day before, but all the trying on of uniform and hearing her friends taking about it before she left had kind of built it up into something that it wasn't. To her it wasn't a big deal, she eased into all of it really easily and expected more than it was. So there was really not much to tell in her mind.

She talks to me about things, just when she wants to and she's ready to and when she's had a chance to wind down a bit and relax. Not because I'm all emotional at the school gates making a huge deal of everything with a list of questions I've manufactured in my head because that's apparently what people do Hmm

Sootgremlin · 14/08/2014 15:27

No has said they stand at the school gates emotional with a list of manufactured questions. You've made that up.

Most people have just said they would want to be there, not that they expect anything in return for being there.

If I was met with a shrug of the shoulders and a 'nothing' I would share a laugh with DH about it later, but I'd still rather be there having that exchange than 'salted or sweet'.

I wouldn't have considered it, but don't feel bad that you did op. Only you know whether it will really matter to you or your dd.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/08/2014 15:36

I just don't think going to ASC on first day is a big deal. Service is there for those who want it regardless of reasons why.

Until there's a specified list of approved reasons on the entry criteria then working or not working, film or no film, then that's no one else's business. And first day or 51st day I really don't think it makes a difference.

Plus I think making a big deal out of first day at school either sets parents up to fail by not being able to be there, especially when face book and the like is all about everyone else's kids first day. Or builds it up in a kids head so it's all a bit of a let down or they feel bad if they didn't enjoy it or can only remember lunch time.

and card shops saw you all coming

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2014 15:38

No has said they stand at the school gates emotional with a list of manufactured questions. You've made that up.

Exactly ^^

Minimise it all you like, but to some kids it's very much a big deal and to some it's not.

That doesn't mean parents are hanging round the gates practising their interrogation techniques, for the second the bell rings.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2014 15:42

And again, going to ASC on the first day will be a big deal to some kids and not to others.

The school appears to think that a full 6hrs on the first day is too much for some kids. If parents choose/need to send their kids to wrap around care, that'll be because they think their kids will be fine.

Which brings me back to my original point. The OP really shouldn't be asking MN about this, as none of us know her DD or how she'll cope.

HibiscusIsland · 14/08/2014 15:44

Until there's a specified list of approved reasons on the entry criteria then working or not working, film or no film, then that's no one else's business.

OP asked for our opinions and people have given them. AIBU would be strange if everyone replied to all the threads with "Well I can't really give my opinion as it's none of my business."

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/08/2014 15:50

But come on, the collective "I can't believe you would t be there" comments like she's back packing round Europe for six months and leaving her behind is a but much.

The dd will be fine and not scarred for life because her parents weren't there at 3:00.

She will have fun in ASC and probably won't care less that half the class went home earlier.

combust22 · 14/08/2014 15:56

"She will have fun in ASC and probably won't care less that half the class went home earlier."

Maybe she won't but I lnow my kids would mind. A lot. they would be hurt and upset.

weegiemum · 14/08/2014 15:58

I'd have gone.

But Guardians is a film that you wouldn't mind using a wet Saturday afternoon to see. It's not great, there are no spoilers!

SirChenjin · 14/08/2014 16:21

I'm sure she will have fun - but I'm also sure she'll have more fun seeing her mum and dad waiting for her outside school with all the other parents, and going home with them.

ASC is an every day occurrence - she will be going there after school for years to come. Your first day of school only happens once - make it special.

trevortrevorslattery · 14/08/2014 16:30

Guardians of the Galaxy is awesommmme

flowery · 14/08/2014 16:40

DS2 starts school this September on a Thursday. He will be going to ASC twice a week but I'm not putting him in until his first full week, so his first two days I'll be picking him up. I think it's important, if you can do it.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2014 16:52

Exactly combust. No-one here (except possibly the OP) has any clue whether the child will have fun in ASC, or whether she'll mind that half the class went home at lunch time.

RiverTam · 14/08/2014 20:26

DD I think would mind very much, particularly if she was the only one out of her friends to do so, which I reckon would be the case.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/08/2014 20:49

See my dd wouldn't have minded at all.

But she don't care who picks her up either, she's happy to go with people other than me or her dad.

First day or last day it wouldn't have been an issue.

combust22 · 14/08/2014 20:58

"But she don't care who picks her up either,"

Rather sad.

JustSquirted · 14/08/2014 21:05

If your DD is the type to burst out of school hopping with excitement to tell her mum all about her big day and how grown up she is, then YABU.

If she's the type to take it all in her stride and not make a deal of it, then YAnotsomuch.

I wouldn't btw. I work full time and can't get enough of doing school runs when I can fit it in.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/08/2014 21:07

Whys that sad?

That she knows i wouldn't send home with any one who couldn't be trusted? Or that she's confident enough to go to other people?

What's sad about that?

Marmiteandjamislush · 14/08/2014 21:08

YABU and mean. It will be such a long day for her and possibly quite stressful. Grow up.

combust22 · 14/08/2014 21:11

It's sad that she doesn't care who picks her up. My children's faces beam with joy when they see me at the school gates. It's what being a parent is all about.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 14/08/2014 21:12

Giles, your dd sounds well tough! Good on you.

There pretty much isn't anything or anyone I wouldn't step over to be waiting for my son on his first day of school.

He's very relaxed, super confident and would be happy with whomever I had asked to pick him up. However, I know that no one, other than DH, will make him as happy to see me, his mum, there, waiting for him.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/08/2014 21:27

Oh dd would much rather her grand parents than me :o

combust22 · 14/08/2014 21:38

So she does care who picks her up giles?

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