To refuse to un-recline dd's plane seat...

[MerryMarigold]

Dh reckons I am. I reckon I am not.

So, long haul flight. Up at 3am to get to airport. 2 flights, 4 hour transit, bit of a hideous trip.

Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer. 5 minutes later lady behind pokes my arm and asks me to put the chair up. Not very politely. I tell her my dd is asleep. She says she can't open her table with the chair reclined. (I have done this many times, so know it is entirely possible). I kneel on my chair and help her open table. Says she can't see TV screen. I adjust TV screen angle for her. She then proceeds to kick Dd's chair several times, whilst I get annoyed but decide to ignore.

10 mins later drinks come round and she speaks to the air steward in local language. He says to me. "Can I raise the seat?" and I tell him dd is sleeping. He says, "I'll do it gently" and just leans over me and does it. Thankfully she didn't wake up and managed to sleep in a contorted way for a lot longer.

I am usually the sort of person who doesn't stick up for myself and who doesn't like putting other people out (I didn't recline my own chair for the entire 9 hour flight as her large dh was behind me). I was very tired, I think that's why I was a bit arsey. I am also not being PFB. I have 3 children, but the others were not as tired and were fine.

Dh said it was her 'right' to have the seat up at least until the food is cleared up (this is probably at least 3 hours into the flight as it's a long flight). I said, "Says who?" Does her right to eat more comfortably trump my dd's right to sleep more comfortably?

So who is right?

People like the chair kicking woman in the OP are the reason I never fly economy.

YANBU. What absolute bollocks that one shouldn't be allowed to recline their seat on a flight. Any flight IMO, long, short or medium haul. The seats are (mostly) able to recline so, apart from during meal times and particularly on a longer flight, it should be perfectly acceptable to do so. Want more leg room, then book a seat with more leg room.

Merry I, like you, would far rather my children slept on a long flight and, as I expect for everybody, comfort is something one makes the best they can on a flight. Seat in front reclines: recline your own. Put it up for meals, of course, but flying is uncomfortable; that's just the way it is. unless you're business and up

Let's flip it over for a second.

I bet there would be an AIBU about a five-year old repeatedly kicking the seat in front of them - (suffered this on United a few times) with general outrage at appallingly behaved child, what were the parents doing, etc etc etc.

So, it's equally not OK for an adult to repeatedly kick the seat in front of them.

I think there was no need to recline the seat, so OP was B a bit U, but the woman was really rude.

She didn't wake up so what's the issue? It seems you would rather the seat were reclined, rather than your daughter needing it. YABU. Maybe fork out for first class next time?

Maybe fork out for first class next time?

Or maybe the chair kicking woman should fork out for first class if she doesn't want to be inconvenienced by other passengers.

On a long coach transfer DD was being sick and I was holding her on my lap while she was being suck when the person in front of me reclined her seat into our faces. I was , as it made it so much harder for us, but didn't say anything as I'm sure it wasn't pleasant for her sitting in front of a travel sick child. Then the stupid cow started totally screeching when the person in front reclined their chair. So much so that the man thought he had hurt her.

Of course she stayed reclined for the whole journey but asked him to put his seat up no thought for the person behind her. Utterly selfish.

Kick seat...repeat...until idiot unreclines their chair.

Why on earth didn't you say something to her trixy ??? That's awful!

I'd rather put up with a reclined seat than a grumpy 5 year old for 9 hours.

I think the only way to solve these issues is for airlines to disallow reclining unless on a night flight....and only then during sleep time.

It is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. The woman behind shouldn't have asked but OP should have quietly put upright ( without disturbing) when the food came.
I love the way people tell you to 'fork out for first class' as if that is an option. I would love to go business class- simply can't afford it.

Kick seat...repeat...until idiot unreclines their chair.

I think you have misunderstood who the idiot is in that scenario.

So refreshing to see an Op come back and actually read and take on board constructively comments raised

I find some of the biggest problems onboard start from seat reclining....I always ask customers to put seat back upright for meal service.

As an aside, flying first/business doesn't stop inconvenience. Due to the layout, passengers in the centre two rear facing seats of one row are effectively penned in if the front facing aisle seats of the row behind are flat with the foot rest up, less so if it's just the foot rest. The passengers have to climb over the legs of the person behind in order to get out.

I am very impressed with the flexibility of a woman who is able to repeatedly kick the reclined chair in front of her. I'm quite bendy (hypermobility) and I couldn't get my foot up and have enough space to kick on any airline I've experienced. Well, not unless I managed a smear test type posture. However, even with my short legs, I could easily clout the chair in front with my knees as I tried to find a position that wouldn't cause me discomfort / pain.

Generally it's "kicking" by shoving their knees into the back of the seat in front.

demanding a sleeping child be potentially disturbed.

The key word here is 'potentially'. Your child was fine. I don't see the problem.

I think it's good manners to keep seats upright while people are using their food and drink trays. Doesn't matter how long into the flight it is.

Also, those saying the other passenger should have paid for first class: unhelpful. Don't you think she would have if she could? Who WOULDN'T pay for first class to avoid thoughtless fellow passengers in cramped surroundings, if they could afford to?

Owl Don't think so.
If only people had consideration for those around them, life would be so much easier. Selfish people have stopped me enjoying the cinema (talkers, eaters), concerts (mobile phones recording the performance) and so on.

Seat reclining is inconsiderate during meal times

Yabu

Owl, why should the woman fork out anymore than OP, when they both have an issue? If the chair kicking woman had come on here, I'd have said the same to her

Owl, why should the woman fork out anymore than OP, when they both have an issue? If the chair kicking woman had come on here, I'd have said the same to her

I never said she should. However, people are saying that the OP should fork out more. I am merely saying that both are equally at "fault" of being entitled.

If only people had consideration for those around them, life would be so much easier.

Yes, I agree. However, insisting that a seat isn't reclined and behaving like a twat if you don't get your own way is not being considerate of those around you. The considerate thing to do is to negotiate a solution that meets both needs half way.

YWBU - there was a drinks service happening and you refused to give her space to put her drink down, and then you got in her face when she quite reasonably asked you to adjust the chair.

I used to be a regular long-haul traveller. I loathe people who recline when drinks or food are being served - I have often had drinks spilled by people jerking back the seat in front of me, or not been able to fit my drink in the cup holder.

imo reclining should only be allowed when lights are turned down for sleep.

YANBU. Seats recline, and are more comfortable for sleeping in when reclined. It is perfectly possible for average sized people to eat, drink, watch TV etc with the seat in front reclined. Can't speak for the very tall/large, economy is uncomfortable no matter what and probably more so for bigger people. I don't get why so many posters on a website mainly for parents seem to be so anti parents on threads like this.