To refuse to un-recline dd's plane seat...

[MerryMarigold]

Dh reckons I am. I reckon I am not.

So, long haul flight. Up at 3am to get to airport. 2 flights, 4 hour transit, bit of a hideous trip.

Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer. 5 minutes later lady behind pokes my arm and asks me to put the chair up. Not very politely. I tell her my dd is asleep. She says she can't open her table with the chair reclined. (I have done this many times, so know it is entirely possible). I kneel on my chair and help her open table. Says she can't see TV screen. I adjust TV screen angle for her. She then proceeds to kick Dd's chair several times, whilst I get annoyed but decide to ignore.

10 mins later drinks come round and she speaks to the air steward in local language. He says to me. "Can I raise the seat?" and I tell him dd is sleeping. He says, "I'll do it gently" and just leans over me and does it. Thankfully she didn't wake up and managed to sleep in a contorted way for a lot longer.

I am usually the sort of person who doesn't stick up for myself and who doesn't like putting other people out (I didn't recline my own chair for the entire 9 hour flight as her large dh was behind me). I was very tired, I think that's why I was a bit arsey. I am also not being PFB. I have 3 children, but the others were not as tired and were fine.

Dh said it was her 'right' to have the seat up at least until the food is cleared up (this is probably at least 3 hours into the flight as it's a long flight). I said, "Says who?" Does her right to eat more comfortably trump my dd's right to sleep more comfortably?

So who is right?

It is the correct etiquette to put your seat in the upright position, when food is served.
Flight attendants normally would request passengers to do this- I am an ex flight attendant

The way the airlines see it is that they hope everyone will recline their seats and thus have the same amount of space, the reality is that not everybody does it. The stewardess can ask a person to make their seat upright for the meal service but after that it's entirely up to the passenger if they want to recline or not.
It's a pain for sure, I personally don't recline cause I feel guilty for the person behind but then it equally sucks if the person in front of me reclines theirs. It's one of those things that we just have to suck up I guess.
Just about to jump on a flight and hoping whoever is in front sits upright the whole flight.... fingers crossed 🤞🏼🤞🏼

I would complain to the airline. The seats recline and so you should be able to use that function. That he did that while your DD was sleeping and without your permission is shit, annoying and I'd complain.

We were part way home on a 4-hour flight from Greece when an older guy had a stroke or heart attack. He was in the middle seat and the person in front had reclined his seat so the crew couldn't get him out. Unbelievably, and despite repeated requests, the person in front refused to put their seat upright so the attendant climbed over and pushed their seat forward so much they were bent double for the remainder of the flight (to great applause)! They managed to get the man out and lay him flat in the aisle. He was taken off first but some people were grumbling about having to stay seated. I'm with you Merry Marigold if I knew it was a sleeping child I'd be ok with being slightly inconvenienced - however, if it was an ignorant twat in front of me I'd react differently. I once had to react when someone sitting in front of my pregnant daughter refused to put his seat upright. I leant over and suggested that she was prone to sickness (being pregnant and claustrophobic) and it would be awful if she vomited on his head - it worked.

I fly a lot. Both before and after ds. YANBU.

Ffs. Just saw was a zombie

Oh it's a zombie . Even so, YABU, recliners are bastards. Reclining during mealtimes is the height of rudeness.

It's selfish to recline your seat when someone behind needs to use their tray. You should have just unreclined!

I have done many Laing haul flights since I was 6yo.

What the OP describes is what I have lived as a child, i.e. If you are a child, it's ok for whoever to come and move you seat back up. It doesn't matter if you are sleeping, if you want it reclined, steward, person behind will betbtheir way.
I found it has been true until I was well into my 20s, so as an 18yo, so an adult paying full price for the flight, I would still have that happening.

It used to annoy the hell out of me.

There is no way anyone would dare doing that with an adult.

There is enough space for people to watch the creek, put the tablet down with the seat in front reclined. That's what people do because when you're u are doing two 12hiurs flights, you need to sleep (plus time goes quicker when you manage to sleep!).
I think that people who say that they wouldn't recline their seat have done what I would call shortish flights, 4 or 5 hours when you dont really need to sleep and get away with reading sat up for the duration.

Fwiw Op I would have done exactely the same than you AND I would have argue with the steward. No way he would have done that to an adult (and the woman behind wouldn't have grumbled that way either)

Bugger. I git caught out AGAAIN

ZOMBIE THREAD ZOMBIE THREAD

@ADHDNoodles

You said: You paid for the seat. That seat reclines. You are allowed to recline it whether the person behind you likes it or not.

Conversely, the person behind paid for a seat with a table to put their meal on it. They are allowed to use that table whether or not the person in front likes it or not. Therefore YABVVVU to insist on having the seat reclined so that they cannot use their table.

zombie

YABU .....I hate reclining seats with a passion.

I hate reclining seats but I hate Zombie threads too.

YANBU. Almost everybody reclines their seat, and we all deal with it. That's life in economy class.

OP is still about and posting. @MerryMarigold might come and update us...

YANBU OP, at all, especially on long haul. I fly a lot and always recline, I have never once had anyone behind me complain and always had the people in front of me recline their seats and thought nothing of it. The recline function is there to use not for decoration. She could have reclined her seat too if she wished. As for her kicking the back of the childs seat, that is disgraceful,aggressive behaviour and could have had her removed from the plane on some airlines. Stupid bloody woman.

omg yabu the poor woman behind would have to have back of the seat in her face for the full fight i find the very claustrophobic .the woman paid for her seat you expect her to sacrifice her comfort for your daughters why should she . if i had to sit there like that for the whole flight it would of panicked me . our chlidren are the most important thing to us, but to not a stranger . agreed she should have not kicked her seat she should of kicked yours why should all 3 of you be comfortable but not her ?

"Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer."
You reclined her seat totally needlessly as she was already asleep. You made the woman behind you uncomfortable and cramped for fuck all reason. Selfish!

I love it when people complain that a reclined economy seat was practically in their laps. As if anyone could take such utter bollocks seriously.

I'm always puzzled by this - if the seats were not meant to recline, why would they be able to recline?! It's all part of the joy of flying economy.

I'm with fluffy pink here. I've had people recline on me at the start of a 12 hour + flight and not said anything. I'll put my damn seat back if I want to too.

FFS ZOMBIE THREAD!!