To refuse to un-recline dd's plane seat...

[MerryMarigold]

Dh reckons I am. I reckon I am not.

So, long haul flight. Up at 3am to get to airport. 2 flights, 4 hour transit, bit of a hideous trip.

Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer. 5 minutes later lady behind pokes my arm and asks me to put the chair up. Not very politely. I tell her my dd is asleep. She says she can't open her table with the chair reclined. (I have done this many times, so know it is entirely possible). I kneel on my chair and help her open table. Says she can't see TV screen. I adjust TV screen angle for her. She then proceeds to kick Dd's chair several times, whilst I get annoyed but decide to ignore.

10 mins later drinks come round and she speaks to the air steward in local language. He says to me. "Can I raise the seat?" and I tell him dd is sleeping. He says, "I'll do it gently" and just leans over me and does it. Thankfully she didn't wake up and managed to sleep in a contorted way for a lot longer.

I am usually the sort of person who doesn't stick up for myself and who doesn't like putting other people out (I didn't recline my own chair for the entire 9 hour flight as her large dh was behind me). I was very tired, I think that's why I was a bit arsey. I am also not being PFB. I have 3 children, but the others were not as tired and were fine.

Dh said it was her 'right' to have the seat up at least until the food is cleared up (this is probably at least 3 hours into the flight as it's a long flight). I said, "Says who?" Does her right to eat more comfortably trump my dd's right to sleep more comfortably?

So who is right?

[indigo18]

No, people think that someone who had paid for their seat should not be inconvenienced unnecessarily. If the OP wanted more room for her child, maybe she should have paid for first class.

[magentastardust]

I always get seat recline rage too-with 3 dcs I have spent many flights over the last 10 years with a baby or toddler on my knee which is a squeeze anyway and then the selfish person in front of me reclines leaving even less space -arrgghh.
Having said that it isn't really the person in fronts fault they have paid for a seat which reclines so why shouldn't they. Just wish airlines would make non reclining seats , they only work if the whole row is reclined!

[Hup]

You knelt on your chair and put her table down and then adjusted her TV screen - not her being rude and impolite but you. She asked you to sort the chair and you decided you would show her .... Yabvvvu to do that. You cannot possibly complain she was rude as your behaviour outweighed hers by miles!!

[YellowTulips]

YANBU - on a long haul flight.

It's perfectly possible to eat/drink etc with the seat in front reclined.

If you are too large to accommodate a reclined seat in front the book seats with extra room at the bulkhead.

I would have gone bonkers if the steward had (apart from take off/landing) altered my kids seat position - there is no way they would have done this if an adult had been sleeping

[MillieH30]

Sorry, but I agree with your DH - YABU.

[Brabra]

I was with you until I realized that the food was being served. YABVU, 5 year olds can sleep in any position. I am glad the cabin crew moved her seat.

[WorraLiberty]

I have to say that all my children were impeccably behaved, made virtually no noise, didn't cry, didn't go to the toilet a gazillion times. Her poor ds (I'd guess around 9yo) had the window seat and I notice he didn't go to the loo for the whole flight. Poor kid was probably too scared to make her move.

Oh Christ really??

So a kid with a strong bladder = Poor kid who was probably too scared to ask his Mum to move?

FFS

[MerryMarigold]

Hup, I was kneeling on my chair as she was insistent on showing me how her table just could not open whilst dd's chair was reclined so I helpfully showed her that it was entirely possible.

Then it turned into her eyes hurt from the TV so I showed her the options on how to change the angle (which I only discovered on the flight out!).

I thought that was helpful not rude!

[BringMeTea]

YADBU. I despise people like you. I never recline my seat out of courtesy and I am 5' 9 and a half. It really does make my journey soooo much worse when people do, and most people do. Often their seat is then touching my knees. I have no choice but to 'knee' them in the back. Tough shit, selfish gits.

And I have asked people who recline their children's seat to put it up. They have no need to be reclined and their 'right' does not trump that of the adult behind with physically cramped legs.

I too long for non-reclining seats on planes.

[indigo18]

Had to LOL at the loo thing!

[LittleBearPad]

Ywbu. Your five year old had considerably more room than she did. And given she didn't wake up when the seat was raised you were being unreasonable. Finally did she actually kick the seat or was she moving her legs and knocked it.

[MerryMarigold]

In terms of risking waking up dd. I didn't think she would wake with the chair moving, but that she would not sleep as long if she were uncomfortable.

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

To the person who asked how tall I am. I'm tall and I have very long legs, which is one reason that I don't recline--so that I am not being a hypocrite when I ask the person in front of me to raise their seat.

[Snapespotions]

I would have gone bonkers if the steward had (apart from take off/landing) altered my kids seat position - there is no way they would have done this if an adult had been sleeping

I'm assuming you haven't travelled much then yellow, as I have seen the flight attendants do exactly that on several occasions. Lots of airlines require the seats to be upright during the meal service, for very good reason.

[mommy2ash]

yabu. when I have flown with my dd and she fell asleep I laid her across her chair and my lap. I don't see sleeping on an airplane chair upright or reclined as comfortable.

[MerryMarigold]

Littlebear, she kicked the chair quite a number of times. Definitely not moving and not a knee.

[trixymalixy]

YABU. I really wish they would do away with seats that recline, it's unbearable for the person behind as there's so little room anyway, particularly for the poor sods at the very back against the bulkhead who can't recline at all.

Its particularly rude to have your chair reclined when food is being served.

[LittleBearPad]

You weren't being helpful, you were being passive aggressive.

[HeartShapedBox]

I'm on the fence with this one.

while people reclining pisses me off, and I hate being crammed in, I wouldn't complain about a sleeping child in a reclined seat, and no way would I kick it either.
that bit was definitely unreasonable of her.

[HauntedNoddyCar]

A five year old might not need as much space ,,,

Excellent so I won't have to pay as much then for the seat.

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

I would have enjoyed being On the row behind you both.

Would have provided far better In flight entertainment.

Especially you showing her how to sort out her screen, and her face at that moment.

[WorraLiberty]

In terms of risking waking up dd. I didn't think she would wake with the chair moving, but that she would not sleep as long if she were uncomfortable.

Oh okay...so long as your flight is made more comfortable by your child sleeping longer, fuck anyone else's comfort?

Sorry but you do sound incredibly selfish. Even your DH can see that.