To refuse to un-recline dd's plane seat...

[MerryMarigold]

Dh reckons I am. I reckon I am not.

So, long haul flight. Up at 3am to get to airport. 2 flights, 4 hour transit, bit of a hideous trip.

Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer. 5 minutes later lady behind pokes my arm and asks me to put the chair up. Not very politely. I tell her my dd is asleep. She says she can't open her table with the chair reclined. (I have done this many times, so know it is entirely possible). I kneel on my chair and help her open table. Says she can't see TV screen. I adjust TV screen angle for her. She then proceeds to kick Dd's chair several times, whilst I get annoyed but decide to ignore.

10 mins later drinks come round and she speaks to the air steward in local language. He says to me. "Can I raise the seat?" and I tell him dd is sleeping. He says, "I'll do it gently" and just leans over me and does it. Thankfully she didn't wake up and managed to sleep in a contorted way for a lot longer.

I am usually the sort of person who doesn't stick up for myself and who doesn't like putting other people out (I didn't recline my own chair for the entire 9 hour flight as her large dh was behind me). I was very tired, I think that's why I was a bit arsey. I am also not being PFB. I have 3 children, but the others were not as tired and were fine.

Dh said it was her 'right' to have the seat up at least until the food is cleared up (this is probably at least 3 hours into the flight as it's a long flight). I said, "Says who?" Does her right to eat more comfortably trump my dd's right to sleep more comfortably?

So who is right?

I didn't use go to refer to a specific departure point. Get off my case.

I imagine it's hard for her not to get on your case flipflops when you start spouting utter shite like 10 hours flying is not longhaul.

Or break flights up. lol

What planet are you on?

Apart from the fact you can't break up a trans-Atlantic or trans-Pacific flight. You also have little things called VISAS. You can't just rock up in a country and stay overnight. Visas cost lots of money and can sometimes take weeks to months to arrange.

You also have things in the big people's world called... oh what are those pesky things again. Oh yes, they are called TIME CONSTRAINTS and FINANCIAL CONSTRAINTS.

I can just see me telling my boss.... ok, you want me to take a trip to Malaysia. Ok, I could take the direct flight from here to KL, that will take 11 hrs and cost 500 quid. But since wee flipflop is flipping out in MN over reclining in planes, I have to break my journey up. So if you don't mind I will fly London to Barcelona. Barcelona to Istanbul. Istanbul to Doha. Doha to Mumbai and Mumbai to KL. Now that will cost you 2500 quid for flights, and I will need another 200 quid to overnight in Istanbul or Doha. And it will take me 48 hours total which you can pay for too. Oh and I am not sure which countries I need paid visa's for and which give free visa on arrival. But I am sure 500 quid will cover that easily.

I am sure my boss will not blink an eyelid at being thousands of pounds out pocket and losing manpower for two days, as long as fliflop's gets what she feels entitled to, but actually is not entitled to.

Don't give up the day job flipflops.

sorry, that wasn't nice to refer to expat as she. apologies

Reclining a flight seat makes very little difference to comfort, even less to a small child - whereas it makes a lot of difference to the person's space behind.

However 10 hours is a long time for a child on a plane, - great that she got a bit of sleep despite the goings on.

SlowRedCar

Your post is way better than the one I was typing out saying the same thing.

10hrs not long haul? Of course it bloody is. I'd say anything over 8 hours can reasonably be called a long haul flight. 5-8, IMO is medium haul when it's not part of a multiple leg trip.

skina, there is as far as I know no universal definition for flight times. But when airlines themselves refer to 10 hours as long haul. Well, flipflops is just flopping about and grabbing at straws in an attempt to defend being a bit silly upthread. One of my regular airlines classes 6 hours as long haul too. My own personal definitions of short/medium/long haul are much the same as yours.

Reclining a flight seat makes very little difference to comfort, even less to a small child - whereas it makes a lot of difference to the person's space behind.

zoe, no, lol! That's just your opinion that recline makes little comfort difference. Maybe to you it doesn't, to me it does, vastly! Legroom means zero to me, I don't need much legroom, but for many other people it's a valuable commodity. And not all children sleep perfectly well upright either, many children on planes sleep far better (and longer!) when reclined. And I always say sleeping-children on any flight are a positive asset.

Reclining a flight seat makes very little difference to comfort, even less to a small child - whereas it makes a lot of difference to the person's space behind.

That is blatantly not true!

Having my seat reclined makes all the difference as to whether I'm comfortable enough to be able to sleep or not, but I barely notice whether someone in front of me has their seat reclined.

Why do you think that every Child should be able to sleep comfortably completely upright but that every adult is going to need an extra two inches in front of their face?

Oh yes, sleeping children on planes are a Good Thing. Having done more long haul flights to the other side of the world with my children than I care to remember over the years, be it to Aus/NZ, South Africa or the west coast of the USA, I would do my best to always take an evening flight so they were a. knackered and b. would be guaranteed to sleep for the vast majority of it. Seats reclined and all. A win for me, them and the other passengers.

*Reclining a flight seat makes very little difference to comfort, even less to a small child - whereas it makes a lot of difference to the person's space behind.

That is blatantly not true!*

calm down love, 'tis just an opinion, one of many on this thread, and one which I happen to truthfully hold.

...and honestly, I'd expect the OP to be pissed off if the steward deliberately poked her daughter awake and asked her to move her own seat, but he didn't! He just moved her seat himself, and she slept on obliviously. Talk about a storm in a teacup

Yeah go you're an adult sleeping through food/drink service with your seat reclined you get woken up and told to upright you own seat!

Maybe I should have validated my comment by saying 'IMO or IME', but truly since I'm not particularly tall the difference in a reclined seat means very little to me. Whereas if I've got a reclined seat in front of me and a tray in my face it's pretty clear which I would prefer!

controversial, me.

I'm not tall, I don't have long legs, but I do have a bad back. Recline is far more important to me than leg room or having a seat in front of me reclined. I don't even notice extra legroom in bulkheads/exit rows as I don't need it. I don't even need the seat in front of me upright to be able to enjoy a meal. But I do want to recline. And tough titty all you anti-recliners, I win because my expectations are inline with the airlines, whiles yours aren't. C'est la vie, suck it up, buy a biz class seat, or start a facebook campaign. lol

blimey

lol.

liberal do you think we you should PM OP to ask about the person in the seat next to sleeping dd? Or might that be poor etiquette? Maybe they were reclined, with the blind down, eyeshades on kicking the seat in front in their sleep.

SlowRedCar proving the entitled point gloriously above. She is SO important!

Surely this is a simple case of whether you prioritise your own (or your child's) comfort over someone else's?

If you recline, you think yours is more important. If you don't, you don't?

I prioritise my own comfort by flying on an airline with reclining seats. It does not mean I feel " entitled" just means I thought about comfort and booked accordingly. Travelling is wasted time so I use it to eat and sleep. Reclining to sleep is comfortable.

If someone reclines in front of me, hey ho, they want to sleep , I don't automatically assume they are being entitled gits.

Surely this is a simple case of whether you prioritise your own (or your child's) comfort over someone else's? If you recline, you think yours is more important. If you don't, you don't?

isthisonetaken you can flip that on it's head and say -

Surely this is a simple case of whether you prioritise your own comfort over someone else's? If you think the person in front of you should not recline to aid or accomodate you, you think yours is more important. If you don't, you don't?

see how easy that was.

flipflops, like I said, don't give up the day job !

I would always recline my seat on a long haul flight - it does make a difference to me.

I would NEVER have taken a five year old on a long haul flight though. I had a long haul flight made a complete nightmare by a brattish five year old behind me who screamed, moaned and spent half the flight kicking my seat whilst Mummy gently chastised him when he needed to be put on the naughty step on the wing of the plane.

I didn't understand that comment, SlowRedCar. Don't give up the day job for what? That's what people say when someone wants (say) a singing career, but can't sing. All I am doing is making a comment on an internet thread. I don't see how this is interfering with my day job any more than your comments interfere with yours.

I don't see your logic. Maybe you are tired and need to recline somewhere.

a brattish five year old behind me who screamed, moaned and spent half the flight kicking my seat whilst Mummy gently chastised him when he needed to be put on the naughty step on the wing of the plane.

Oh a naughty step on the wing would cure hours of inflight boredom. I love that.

my sister, who is maybe not the most responsible mother in the world, she often used "shock and awe" tactics to keep her kids in place. She let her boys watch a Top Gun type of film, and told them that passenger planes had eject seats too, and if they misbehaved on their holiday flight the cabin crew would eject them, without parachutes! The poor wee men were like angel-y cherubs on every flight they went on.

Float, you super sleuth. This is for you. Guy next to us in window seat was cool, like an invisible man. Totally ignored the whole thing with eyes shut. However, he did don sleep mask soon after incident and sleep UNRECLINED for the entire journey. I think he was too scared to recline even though there was a child behind him (demanding woman's son). Or maybe he's part of the non reclining club.

Oh lordy. And what about those entitled window blind hoggers who keep it down when you wasn't to see the plane landing? (our seat buddy put it up without even being asked). As far as I'm concerned, your seat is your own, recline it if and when you want. The window, however, is the collective property of the trio of seats and whether blind is up or down should really be put to a democratic vote.

Thank you, OP. Like Float I really needed to know this.

Want to see plane landing, not wasn't

Amothersplace, we flew this same trip with 1.5 year old twins so this was a doddle (even including the seat incident). No choice if kids are to see their grandparents who are too old to fly now (well dh Dad is). Only every 4 years though! I hope I don't forget reclining etiquette in the interim!