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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To refuse to un-recline dd's plane seat...

804 replies

MerryMarigold · 12/08/2014 23:24

Dh reckons I am. I reckon I am not.

So, long haul flight. Up at 3am to get to airport. 2 flights, 4 hour transit, bit of a hideous trip.

Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer. 5 minutes later lady behind pokes my arm and asks me to put the chair up. Not very politely. I tell her my dd is asleep. She says she can't open her table with the chair reclined. (I have done this many times, so know it is entirely possible). I kneel on my chair and help her open table. Says she can't see TV screen. I adjust TV screen angle for her. She then proceeds to kick Dd's chair several times, whilst I get annoyed but decide to ignore.

10 mins later drinks come round and she speaks to the air steward in local language. He says to me. "Can I raise the seat?" and I tell him dd is sleeping. He says, "I'll do it gently" and just leans over me and does it. Thankfully she didn't wake up and managed to sleep in a contorted way for a lot longer.

I am usually the sort of person who doesn't stick up for myself and who doesn't like putting other people out (I didn't recline my own chair for the entire 9 hour flight as her large dh was behind me). I was very tired, I think that's why I was a bit arsey. I am also not being PFB. I have 3 children, but the others were not as tired and were fine.

Dh said it was her 'right' to have the seat up at least until the food is cleared up (this is probably at least 3 hours into the flight as it's a long flight). I said, "Says who?" Does her right to eat more comfortably trump my dd's right to sleep more comfortably?

So who is right?

OP posts:

ChickenMe · 13/08/2014 17:17

Ffs phone shambles.

Can't wait till they bring in non reclining seats. I always get stuck behind an inconsiderate recliner and next to a fat snorer on planes.

littlewhitebag · 13/08/2014 17:26

Bahahahhaha. "Entitled" people on flights reclining their seats eh?

The seats recline, every single one on the plane reclines, so every passenger can recline if they wish. Some do, some don't. But people are not "entitled" because they recline their seats.

This thread is hilarious.

OnlyLovers · 13/08/2014 17:45

I think it's pretty entitled for someone to recline the seat of their child (so not even someone deciding to recline their OWN seat) when the child is happily sleeping already.

MyFairyKing · 13/08/2014 17:57

Why do people insist on saying YABU when the OP has already accepted it?!

plinth · 13/08/2014 18:16

Plenty of people don't think she is BU though

bruffin · 13/08/2014 18:22

The seats recline, every single one on the plane reclines

no they dont, have you ever sat in the back row!

Handsoff7 · 13/08/2014 18:23

I think people without long legs just don't get why reclining seats is a problem.

On most short haul flights my knees are already touching the seat in front before it reclines. This doesn't stop people trying to recline and usually it hurts quite a bit when they try and push through the "blockage". I suspect that might have been what happened with pangurban or perhaps the bloke was a twat as even when my legs have really been hurt by someone slamming backwards the most I've ever done is politely ask them not to.

Reclining my own seat doesn't help give space to my legs at all. My back goes 2" further back when reclining which offsets the 2" the seat in front has got closer and so my face is the same distance away from the seat in front if we both recline but the 1" lost to my legs (which is usually the difference between fitting in the seat and not fitting) is not recovered.

It would really help if the seats only reclined when the seat pitch was reasonable - usually true on long haul.

SconeRhymesWithGone · 13/08/2014 18:43

Handsoff that is exactly my situation. I am tall and in addition, short-waisted. Most of me is legs. I try to get a seat with extra leg room but that's not always possible, especially when traveling for work when the travel plans are made by others. But I have to say, that the few times I have had a problem and asked the person in front to let their seat up, they have complied politely.

Skina · 13/08/2014 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ScarlettlovesRhett · 13/08/2014 18:57

YABU.

I have jammed my knees right up against the seat in front before, to stop them reclining onto my lap.

There is no need to recline imo, especially a child.

SlowRedCar · 13/08/2014 18:57

Which part of 'it was not during meal time and her table wasn't already down' are some idiots struggling to understand?

And entitled? Jog the fuck on. If I'm on a plane (frequently) and I wish to recline my seat during the flight (apart from mealtimes when I wouldn't dream of it), of course I can recline my seat. What a bunch of total arses some of you are.

That made me chortle! I can only think that many on this thread have little or no experience of long haul flights. Every single airline I have flown longhaul on, the rule is simple and clear...if a seat can recline, then it can be inclined for the whole flight with the exception of meal times and take off and landing. If people with long legs or fat bellies or just plain entiltled-ness have problems with the lack of space, then they really should fly business or first.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/08/2014 18:59

It is ages since I was last on a plane - are there only two positions for the seat - upright or fully reclined - or was there a compromise option, where the OP's dd's seat was partially reclined, so she was still comfortable enough to sleep, and the other lady was more comfortable too?

Vida · 13/08/2014 19:00

I had an utter twat of a woman, about 5' 2, small, on a day flight back from the Canaries sitting in the seat in front of me once.

Flight jam packed, airline renowned for lack of space (My knees were already up against her seat, and I am only 5' 8).

Only spare seat was was the middle seat next to her - ie she and her husband had a row of three to spread out.

So, out of all 200 or so people, she already had the most room on the entire plane.

Yet she still tried to recline her seat into my face the minute the seatbelt sign went off. Luckily positioning my knee just right on the side of her seat stopped her. Didn't stop her trying approximately once every 20 minutes as she got rapidly more pissed though. Selfish cow.

People who recline on short haul day flights, without a medical issue, are twats without question.

Long haul, night time - totally acceptable to recline. Meal/drinks time - totally unacceptable. Rest of the time - I think there's got to be some give and take. If I had been the woman on the plane, I think I would have given it a few hours, then asked you to put the seat up (nicely!)

Bambambini · 13/08/2014 19:04

Did an 11 hour flight last week. Woman in front of me at the bulkhead ( so she had mega room) reclined. So yes I had no problem digging my knees in now and then. Putting my table up and down with aplomb, getting up and down for the loo and yanking her headrest back (had to anyway as it was difficult to get up with her reclined seat.

I only recline if the people behind me and in front recline. Had people recline on me even on short flights when I've had a baby/ toddler on my knee - wankers!

SlowRedCar · 13/08/2014 19:05

I have jammed my knees right up against the seat in front before, to stop them reclining onto my lap.

There is no need to recline imo, especially a child.

Then you should petition the airlines to do away with reclining seats, not expect the people in front of you to stop reclining. That's why the seat are built with a recline function, so people can use it. Like why flights have ICE systems, so people can use them if they choose.

And what age to children pay full fares.... 2yr old is it? They have as much right to recline as I do.

I like flying Royal Brunei because they are dry flights, doesn't mean I get on BA or Air France flights and ask the passenger around me not to get utterly rat arsed drink.

Amandaclarke · 13/08/2014 19:11

Slowredcar - I completely agree and skina's post made me laugh too!

Reclining seats have been installed so people who choose to travel economy have at least some comfort on a long haul flight. I personally hardly ever recline because I don't sleep well but if I did I cannot see how on earth that would make me overly entitled or selfish, whatever time of day it is - if you need to sleep, you need to sleep.

And thank you to the only person who has worked for an Airline for agreeing the Steward should have "jogged on". They might be god's but I would have put up more of a polite fight and not had the chair put upright, by the sounds of things the woman behind was far more aggressive and argumentative than the OP and he/she chose the easiest way out.

SlowRedCar · 13/08/2014 19:13

I only recline if the people behind me and in front recline. Had people recline on me even on short flights when I've had a baby/ toddler on my knee - wankers!

a bulkhead or exit row does nothing for me if I want to sleep. It's not my legs I want to stretch, it's my back - hence the recline. And it's quite rich you accuse the reclining person in front of you as being some kind of a-social person just for doing exactly what she is allowed to do going by the rules the airline's own rules, i.e. reclining. Yet you have no issue kicking her chair, bumping your table tray up and down and yanking her head rest. I know if I was sat across the aisle watching you it would be you I judged to be the a-social one.

Pumpkinpositive · 13/08/2014 19:15

Technically the recliners have the day. The seats are manufactured with in built recline capabilities and I am unaware of any airline having a policy that passengers can't use that function (outside of takeoff/landing/meal times).

However, OP is massively unreasonable to recline another person who is sleeping peacefully and expressed no interest in being reclined. She inconvenienced the person behind totally unnecessarily.

And then was bloody cheeky and invasive to her into the bargain.

Aridane · 13/08/2014 19:19

OMG YABU

Bambambini · 13/08/2014 19:20

Yes, I had absolutely no issue letting her know she was encroaching on me while she had a huge amount of space at the bulkhead. I looked behind me and there was no way I would have reclined on the man there who already had scant room.

SlowRedCar · 13/08/2014 19:20

Slowredcar - I completely agree and skina's post made me laugh too!

I hear you! What people also seem to forget.... we all get on a flight at 7am at LHR bound for Miami. Some seem to think as that's a day flight, and more medium haul than long haul, that I shouldn't have to recline. But how do they know that my journey started in Heathrow at 7am just because theirs did? Maybe my journey started in Abu Dhabi at 11pm the night before, and I was merely a transit passenger in Heathrow. Or maybe I drove down overnight from Edinburgh.

If people have an issue with reclining seats the only logical thing to do is to take it up with the airlines, it's absolutely absurd that they take issue with the passengers for using something that is designed specifically for them to use.

plinth · 13/08/2014 19:20

Maybe people with unnaturally long legs should consider flying premium economy or business ?

TidyDancer · 13/08/2014 19:23

I think an issue was made out of nothing on this. Your DD was already asleep. Whatever this woman's reason for asking you not to recline the seat, you could've just done it. Some give and take when travelling is generally a good idea for everyone's sake.

Amandaclarke · 13/08/2014 19:26

Pumpkin I would recline my daughter if she was sleeping in the upright position. I can't bear seeing her head jerking about whilst she is trying to sleep upright, I always think she is going to cause herself an injury or one of the head rolls will wake her up. I can't understand why OP was massively unreasonable to think about her daughters wellbeing as well as her family's wellbeing by having a well rested child and even thinking of the fellow travellers by having a well rested child.

Long haul seats recline, they are mean't for exactly that purpose and if you don't want a recliner in front of you, you have other options.

I find it bizarre that some are insisting the OP should be thinking in great detail about the person behind her rather than her family, yes of course we have to be mindful of others needs but in this case the woman behind wasn't in any pain or discomfort, the only issue was she didn't know how to operate and position the table and TV screen whilst the seat was in recline, however the OP helped her with that so she wasn't inconvenienced.

The OP sounds like a very reasonable person so I am sure if the woman behind was in discomfort she would have re-visited her thought process.

hellokittymania · 13/08/2014 19:27

I ask people to let me know before they recline their seat. I'm visually impaired and often my face is 2 inches away from the screen.

Being knocked in the face isn't painfree...

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